“And Lucas... Lucas is his son. Not mine.”
I stare at him, my heart hammering so hard I can barely hear anything else.
“She admitted it?” I whisper.
“She admitted it,” he says. “And she laughed in my face when she did.”
A hollow silence falls between us. I feel like I’m sinking into it, drowning.
“She never wanted to have my children,” Roland continues, voice raw. “She had three abortions over the years. Every time she found out she was pregnant with my child, she got rid of it.”
I feel sick, pressing a hand to my stomach protectively.
“She tried with you, too,” he says hoarsely. “But I caught her. She was already at the clinic when I followed her, dragged her out, fought for you. She was shocked to see me. She tried to say that she wasn’t ready for another child, that her doctor was against the pregnancy, but —”
His eyes are wet, filled with devastation. “We had been actively trying for a child back then. After each visit to the clinic, she would tell me she miscarried. I grieved for every child I lost. I got her the best doctors to see if the pregnancy was dangerous to her. If it had been, if I had thought for even a second that it would hurt her, I would never have asked her to go through with it. When she got tired of all the doctor visits, she finally said she didn’t want to carry my child. The thought disgusted her.”
Tears spill down his cheeks, his voice shaking. “I couldn't control her decision, and she knew it. I couldn't stop her from walking back inside that clinic. So I bought your life. I asked her to name any amount of money she wanted. I just wanted you. She took half my property, and in return, I got you. I would have taken you away from her if I could, but you needed a mother and she didn’t want a divorce.”
Tears prick my eyes. All my life, I thought she hated me because I was the one lacking, because I drove her husband away.
But the truth is so much darker.
“She hated you because you lived,” Roland says quietly, seeing the horror dawning on my face. “You were proof shebroke her promise to that man, that she would only carry his children. You were the crack in her perfect lie.”
I shake my head, trying to breathe past the rising tide of nausea and heartbreak.
“I confronted her. Threatened to take you and leave. She fought back with everything she had.” He straightens, his eyes flashing. “I got a paternity test. It proved Lucas wasn’t mine. I filed for divorce. I applied for full custody of you.”
Hope flickers in my chest, even now.
“You tried to get me away from her,” I say, my voice cracking.
“I did,” he says fiercely. “But she fought back. She knew if she lost you, she lost the child support payments, too. So she made up lies.” He looks away, like the memory still burns him. “She accused me of abusing her. Of abusing you. She had Lucas back her up in court. Lied through their teeth.”
I press a trembling hand to my mouth.
“I never laid a hand on either of you,” Roland says, his voice breaking. “I loved you, Natalie. I still do.”
Tears spill down my cheeks, hot and silent. I can’t hold them back anymore. He wanted me. He loved me. He didn’t walk away from me because he wanted to.
“She changed her last name to Thorne, her lover’s surname, after the divorce,” Roland says. “Moved homes. I tried to track you down, but she kept you hidden.”
He lifts his eyes to mine, and the devastation there rips something inside me.
“I thought about you every single day.”
I sob, the sound torn from somewhere deep inside me. It hurts. It hurts so much. But it’s a different kind of pain now—the kind that comes from finally knowing the truth.
He hesitates for a heartbeat, then reaches out, offering his hand but not forcing it. I stare at it. At the calloused fingers, the trembling strength in them.
And then I place my hand in his.
His fingers close around mine gently, like he’s holding something sacred.
“I’m so sorry you went through everything you did,” he whispers. “If I could take it all away, I would.”
“I believe you,” I manage to say through my tears.
