He must see something, or I wouldn’t be standing here. Even I know I can’t be that good of a lay. My hand comes to touch my belly, a cold gnawing tension seeping into me.
“I—”
“You can’t even speak nicely to him,” Jake finishes, his eyes flashing. “If you gave two damns about him, you wouldn’t be sniping at him every minute you’re?—”
“That’s enough.” I don’t know how I find my voice, but I can’t listen to his anymore. “You’ve said quite a lot.”
I cover the distance between us, leaving only a few steps. “Who do you think you are to judge me? You don’t know an ounce of what I’ve been through. Just because you had my life ripped apart, you think you know everything? I was caught between this fight between Ethan and Lucas. He lost his money?”
I stab my finger in my chest, my voice furious. “I got my heart broken. I was used. I was beaten to the point of death. And I was forced into homelessness, all my bank accounts frozen. All because Ethan seduced me, and I let him.”
My lower lip curls in cold burning anger. “I get it. You want to protect your brother. I don’t blame you. It took me a long time to stop blaming him for what happened to me. But he did break my heart. He used me like I was nothing. I still have nightmares when I wake up thinking my brother is sitting on me, his fists flying in my face. I still double-check my locks because I’m scared he’s going to break in someday. And let’s be honest, if Ethan hadn’t pursued me, I wouldn’t be standing here saying this.”
Caleb’s watching me, his face white, and I dimly wonder if this is the first time he’s hearing this.
I swallow, trying to let my anger speak and not the anguish that is simmering underneath it. “And you’re right, I’m not very warm towards your brother. I don’t know how to be. Every time he touches me, I keep thinking that he’s going to abandon me in the next heartbeat. That’s all I know. Abandonment. I don’t want to fall in love with him again because the idea fucking scares me. He blew up my entire life once again. Who’s fighting for me, Jake? Who’s fighting with him to protect me?”
He lowers his gaze, and I sneer. “No one, that’s who. I’ve always been alone, at every turn of my life. I’ve accepted it. I didn’t want Ethan. He pursued me. Both times, he pursued me. I didn’t cast some spell on him or twist his arm. But you—You know everything. You know everything that has happened to me, and you still have the audacity to stand there and tell me what a shitty person I am. I have to say, it takes balls. I’ll give you that.”
He flinches now, and I say harshly, “What happens between Ethan and me is our business. It’s not yours, and it’s not Caleb’s, or anybody else’s. If you don’t want to be here, leave. You wantto tell me what my worth is? As a human, I can’t answer that. But I’m very good at my job. I’m very well-known in the industry. I worked hard to reach where I am. And no one can take that from me, not you and not Ethan. If you have a problem with me, talk to your brother. I don’t want to see you. I’m sick of people telling me how worthless they think I am. I’m the only one who decides my worth now. And if you disagree, there’s the fucking door. I hope it hits you on the way out.”
I push him now, and he doesn’t resist.
“You too!” I snap at Caleb. “Get out of my house. I can take my own suitcases. I don’t need your help.”
They leave, and I close my bedroom door, sinking to the ground, mumbling, “I don’t need anybody’s help. I don’t need anybody. I’m fine. I’m just fine.”
Pulling my knees to my chest, I fold my arms on them and just bury my head in my arms as the tears come.
And they just don’t stop.
CHAPTER 18
ETHAN
“I’m goingto look into it, Ethan,” the deputy commissioner, who also happens to be an old friend, assures me.
“If it’s him, I want him charged, Derrick,” I say grimly. “That was a death threat.”
“I know. Look after your girl. I’ll deal with this. I’ll call you back once I have something.”
Ending the call, I check the time. I’ve been out here for an hour, waiting for the two detectives that Derrick had sent to pick up the letters. They’ve already talked to the doorman to discover the camera wasn’t working and the letters were put in the mailbox by the doorman himself. This building isn’t a bad one, but it’s not as secure as I would want it to be for Natalie. It’s a good thing she’s moving in with me.
I head back upstairs and see my brothers standing outside the apartment door. It looks like Caleb is arguing with Jake, who is standing silently, his expression stiff.
“What are the two of you doing out here?” I ask, reaching them.
Jake doesn’t meet my gaze, but Caleb’s eyes are angry as he looks at me. “When were you going to tell me?—“
“We wanted some fresh air,” Jake interrupts him. “You go in.”
Looking between the two of them, I decide not to intervene. They can deal with their own problems. I have my hands full right now.
Natalie is in the bedroom, two suitcases by the door. Her back is to me as she empties out a small locker behind a large painting next to her wardrobe. The fading daylight filters through half-drawn curtains, casting a warm glow on her silhouette.
“The moving company is going to be here in ten minutes. I ordered an express service,” she says without looking at me. I instantly know something is up. Her voice is thick.
“What’s wrong?” When she doesn’t answer, I walk towards her. “What happened?”
