Did she lie to me? Or did I make a mistake?
Kathleen shut her laptop and rested her forehead on the desk. The static hum of the building filled her ears. It was comforting in a weird way, white noise that didn’t require thought.
She didn’t know what she wanted more: for Veronica to come back and explain, or to disappear completely so she could start forgetting her.
Something inside told her that neither would happen, and that hurt most of all.
When she heard the door of her office open and Ted talking to someone, she raised her head in surprise. Everyone in thebuilding knew this laboratory was off-limits. She turned to see her mother walking towards her.
“Come on, Kathleen, I’m taking you home,” she said in a voice that brooked no argument.
Knowing it was useless to protest when her mother spoke like that, Kathleen stood up shakily. “Yes, Mom.”
Rhonda nodded to Ted as she led her out by the hand. “Thank you, Ted. I’ll take care of her now.”
He gave Kathleen an apologetic look as she passed by, then closed the main door behind them. They were silent in the lift and through the foyer, and when they reached her mother’s Volvo, she slid into the passenger seat without a word.
They drove in silence for nearly ten minutes and then Rhonda glanced sideways at her. "What happened, love?"
Kathleen shook her head. "Nothing."
Her mother’s expression didn’t change. “We’ll go somewhere quiet and you can tell me all about it.”
When they arrived at the Knowles house, Rhonda led her inside and wordlessly helped her out of her coat. She guided Kathleen to the sunroom and pressed a warm throw blanket into her hands. “Sit here. I’ll be back.”
Kathleen obeyed, curling up on the lounge, staring at the pale winter light filtering through the glass. Her mother returned with soup and a small plate of buttered toast.
“It’s your favourite,” Rhonda said gently.
Kathleen looked at it but didn’t reach for the spoon. Rhonda didn’t push, simply sat beside her, not crowding her, her hands folded in her lap.
Minutes passed.
Then Kathleen gave a shaky breath. “I messed everything up.”
Her voice cracked and broke, and the dam burst.
“I broke up with my girlfriend,” she said, eyes brimming. “I told her to leave. I didn’t even let her explain.”
Rhonda’s mouth softened, but she said nothing.
Kathleen buried her face in her hands. “I thought she lied to me. Someone said something nasty and I believed it. I threw her out.”
Rhonda reached out and gently touched her back. “Okay,” she said softly. “Keep going.”
“I was so scared,” Kathleen said, her voice raw. “I’ve never let anyone get so close. And she made it so easy. She was patient, and kind, and she didn’t rush me. She … waited. Like she understood.”
Tears slid down her cheeks and she didn’t bother wiping them away. “I thought I was finally getting it right. That maybe I could have someone like other people. Then I ruined it.”
Rhonda moved closer and drew her into a hug. Kathleen let her, collapsing against her shoulder.
“It hurts,” Kathleen whispered, “so much I can’t breathe sometimes.”
“I know, sweetheart. I know,” Rhonda murmured, stroking her hair. “You loved her.”
“I still do.”
“You’re allowed to. Because she’s not here doesn’t mean what you feel disappears.”
