“As soon as possible would be preferable, yes,” Dr. Malone replies.
Pressure builds behind my eyes. I shake my head. “I don’t live here. I was just visiting some friends. Wait, what happens if youcan’tremove all of it?”
I haven’t even had a chance to record anything. I don’t want the last thing I produced to be a failed album with Lithos.
She gives me an encouraging smile. “Then we put together a treatment plan to take care of the rest. Sometimes we need a little help from chemo or radiation. We won’t know for certain until pathology has a look at the tumor. Usually, it takes one to two weeks for them to get back to us after surgery.”
I nod like I understand a single thing she just told me.
The doctor claps her hands on her thigh as if to disperse the bad vibes. “Where are you from, Beau?”
“Phoenix.”
She perks up. “I spent a summer there during my undergrad. Actually, I may have a recommendation for a neurosurgeon in that area if he has availability. Why don’t I give you some time to process while I make a phone call? You can rest or visit with your friends. They’ve been anxiously pacing the halls. The tall, dark, and handsome one is causing quite the stir with the nurses.”
My heart stutters. That has to be Liam, right? I mean, I knew Stasi was here. She rode in the ambulance.
I guess I wasn’t expecting Liam to come after the way he reacted to my seizure.
“Okay. Yeah. Do you mind letting them in?”
While I’m not ready to tell them any of this, I’d appreciate their comfort. Maybe after a quick visit, I can convince them to go home and go to bed. They both have work in the morning. There’s no reason for them to stay.
“Of course,” Dr. Malone says kindly, rising to her feet. “And Beau? You have every right to seek out treatment elsewhere, but I want to assure you that you would be in good hands if you decide to have the surgery here.”
I can’t even manage a nod. When she’s gone, I cover my face with my hands and work to bottle up the messy emotions swirling around in my stupid, broken head. I don’t even know what thefuckradiation is. It doesn’t sound like something a human should be able to survive.
Soft fingers touch my forearm. I drop my hands and wince at the bright fluorescent lights. I didn't even hear anyone come in.
Once my eyes adjust, I’m greeted by the vision of a blonde-haired, beautiful angel.
“Hi, sweetheart.”
“Hi, Beau.”
Her smile makes me sad. I don’t want her to be sad. Lifting a hand, I brush it along her cheek, ignoring the tug of the IV taped to my arm. She turns her head to kiss my palm.
“You know, you don’t have to do this,” I say quietly.
“Do what?”
My brows pinch together. “Be here.”
“Why wouldn’t I be here?”
I give a shrug while my heart begins to crumble into tiny pieces. “Because this doesn’t have anything to do with you.”
Her expression twists into something pained. “How so?”
“You didn’t ask for this. I just waltzed into your lives like I belonged there. I hung around because I wanted the two of you to be together. And then I got selfish. So unbelievably selfish.”
Stasi recoils. “I’m going to blame this madness on the seizure. Otherwise, I might actually get mad at you.”
I drop my arm onto the bed in defeat. Eventually, Stasi shakes her frustration and drapes her warm body over my chest. I do my best to soak it in, breathing in her citrus scent. I want to remember every detail of the summer we spent together when I’m back in Phoenix on my own.
To have fucking surgery.
She doesn’t need to share the weight of this burden. She doesn’t need to hear about how jacked up I am on the inside.
