I glance back at the house, certain I’m going to be found out. I snort when I catch Beau gaping at Stas through the living room windows. Shaking my head, I point toward the game he’s supposed to be playing.
Not two minutes later, Beau appears at my side with a beer in hand. “I got booted. Apparently, zero kills isn’t what Griff is looking for in a gaming partner. Pretty sure a literal infant called me a shit, too.”
A low laugh escapes me. “Too distracted to perform, huh?”
Beau swigs from his Shiner Bock and swipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “How did you resist her for so long?”
“I was on the road. And when I was home, I kept myself distracted.”
He leaves the conversation there, well-aware of the ways in which I entertained myself.
We supervise the grill, pretending we’re not admiring Stas as she wades into the crystal waters.
Eventually, more of Atonement’s crew flood into the backyard. Between chatting with them, I sneak glances at Stas and Beau. We exchange secret flirtations when we can. It’s not something I’ve ever done before, but I’m appreciating the novelty of it.
For the first time since I came home, I can say I made the right decision by stepping down from playing guitar for Atonement.
Once the burgers and hot dogs are cooked, I place them on the table with other dishes people brought. Baked beans, chips and dips, homemade Rice Krispy treats, assorted fruit and veggies, and three kinds of salads.
I move over to where Beau’s dragging off his shirt, giving his body the appreciation it deserves. He’s not cut from hard work in the gym, but I don’t mind. I love his softness. Love how his ass fills out those trunks. Love every patch of lighter skin decorating his tan body, too.
“Tone down the sex eyes,” he murmurs, though his gaze drops to my shorts like he wishes he had x-ray vision. I’m about to call him out on it when he launches himself into the pool, splashing water everywhere. Screeches from the women gathered on the edge of the deep end have Malek and Griff running out as if summoned by the chaos. They immediately cannonball into the center of the pool.
When the afternoon heat gets to me, I tug off my shirt and wade into the pool.
“Jesus. Would you stop showing off?” Hail says, looking me over.
He’s standing in the shallow end between Z’s legs dangling into the water. Z hasn’t shed his clothing, but the fact that he’s even willing to approach water after what Hail told me about his past has me wanting to hug him.
“What else is he supposed to do in retirement besides lift weights andfuck?” Malek says.
Ignoring their chatter about my sex life, I float over to Beau and Stas. She’s sitting on the edge, dripping water from the splash attack. Beau’s got his arms rested on the hot pavement next to her thighs as he kicks his feet behind him in the water.
“Food’s ready,” I tell them.
“Mmm, I’m good right here,” Beau replies, cracking an eye open to look up at Stas. Smiling, she turns his hat for him to shield his eyes from the harsh sun.
At one point, Beau climbs out of the pool to make us a plate of food to share. It’s these considerate little actions that have my chest aching in new ways. The smiles and lingering eye contact. The gentle touches when we assume no one’s watching. The silent promises we’re making about the things we want to do to each other when we’re no longer in public.
If life continued just like this, I could be happy.
And that’s something I never thought I would be able to say.
twenty-four
Stasi
“You look closer to death than me, and that’s saying something,” Iris grumbles. “The damn reaper might as well be breathing down my wrinkled neck.”
Snorting, I help Iris into her bed and lower it to her preferred height. I’m trying not to think about the fact that she’s only got three days of inpatient therapy left. She’s mobile with a walker now, and while I should feel immense pride in getting her to this point, I can’t help thinking about how empty this place will feel without her sassy presence and unfiltered mouth.
Iris touches a cold hand to my forearm, drawing me out of my head. Her expression becomes one of concern.
“Haven’t been getting much sleep lately,” I admit.
I don’t regret spending my weekends with Liam and Beau, but if things are going to continue like this, which obviously I want them to, I need to figure out a routine that doesn’t leave me dragging at work.
Either it’s time to up my cardio at the gym, or I need to silence my notifications at night to keep Beau’s texts and selfies from keeping me up late. Both men are night owls, something Ican'tbe with a structured job.
