I don’t bother closing or locking the door, knowing Ezra will just pick it if he wants to. All privacy has vanished from my life since he’s snuck his way into it.
At this point, even if he is somehow fooling all of us, I know I wouldn’t be able to put a bullet in him. Hell, he can snap naked pictures of me and post them on billboards all over the city if he wants, I still won’t be the one to kill him.
Sure enough, when I step out of the steamed up glass enclosure and wrap a towel around my waist, I find Ezra curled in a ball on the bathroom counter. He’s not peeking at me, just lurking there like a cat in need of attention. That’s what he reminds me of. A stray cat, claws and all. Sometimes sweet, and other times sassy. Hot and cold. All frenetic energy and then vulnerability.
After slipping on a clean pair of underwear, I scoop him off the sink, fighting a quiver at the corner of my mouth. This sudden desire to console and protect him isn’t an uncomfortable feeling. In fact, I feel the most centered I have in a long time.
My plan was to dump him in my bed and do some laundry until he fell asleep, but I find it physically impossible to unwrap my arms from his body when I lay him down.
Carefully, I sprawl out beside him. I keep him tucked against my side, my gaze hooked on those emotive hazel eyes. If I hold on to him tight enough, maybe he won’t be able to hurt himself ever again.
“Beautiful boy.” I lean in to place a kiss on his forehead. “Sleep. Tomorrow I’ll take you to see your Jakey.”
I know my calendar is overloaded, but I want to be the one to take him. Maybe it’s guilt. Maybe it’s something more expanding inside my chest.
Ezra’s smile returns, and my weak heart skips as he snuggles his body closer to mine.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
EZRA
Iwake up sprawled in the center of Cain’s massive bed, the sheets tangled around my feet, and drool crusted on my face.
When I roll off the mattress and burst into the kitchen, I find Cain leaned up against the counter, reading something on his phone and sipping a cup of coffee. The sight of him makes my heart leap and my nerves twinge.
“Are you not working today?” I ask, eyeing him suspiciously.
He takes a long swig from his oversized #1 Boss mug. “Told you. We’re going to see your friend.”
I march over to him and position myself between his arms. Tilting my head up, I narrow my eyes at him. I don’t want things to be weird between us, but I also don’t want to give words to what happened last night. I don’t really know how.
Cain’s anger doesn’t scare me. If he thinks that’s enough to drive me out the front door, he’s dead wrong. Yeah, what he showed me last night threw me for a loop. But I’m going to let it fuel me through training. I’mgoing to prove to Cain and Rev that I can handle this. I’m going to free Jakey from this mess.
I want to save others.
Cain sets his phone and coffee mug on the counter behind him. Gently, he takes my arm and examines my scabbed wounds. “Why do you do this?”
Wincing, I fight the urge to rip my arm away from him and hide.
“Ezra.” His voice is a smooth order, his eyes ablaze with barely contained rage.
Tears sting my eyes, and it makes me more aggravated. “Whatever the fuck this is inside of me… sometimes it needs to be calmed, okay? I don’t know what to feel or how to just… be.”
Cain pulls me into his arms. I close my eyes and nestle in tighter. He rests his chin on the top of my head. “Anytime you feel like that, you come to me. Do you understand?”
I shake my head, my cheek brushing against his firm chest. “No. Not really. This is a me problem.”
Easing me back, his fingers nudge my chin higher until our mouths meet. I have to lean my weight against him as my legs go weak from his kiss.
When he breaks away, he cradles my face in both of his large hands, those deep brown eyes striving to convey everything we can’t seem to vocalize. Or don’t want to.
“Do you get it now, Ezra? Your pain is my pain, too.”
He gives me another soft, lingering kiss. I have to grip his shirt in both of my hands to stay upright. Cain kisses me like he cherishes me. It makes my stomach all fluttery and my eyelids almost too heavy to open.
His laugh is low as his thumb brushes over my lip ring, giving it a little flip. “Can’t leave my shirts alone, can you? Is that punishment for how I behaved last night?”
“I’d ratheryoupunishme,” I admit, giving him a sly grin before bounding off to get dressed, satisfied now that I know things are going to be okay. I didn’t fuck shit up with my meltdown last night.
