“It’s more than being a family. It’s more than anything I could explain with words,” I told her, eager that she finally understood.
She smiled sadly at me, lifting her shoulder. “I don’t think we’ve been a family since Mom died. If that’s any consolation for you. He was just as miserable as you. The moment she died, he—”
Her words were a dagger to my heart. Karl’s absence was as big as his presence. He was my pack brother. He was part of who I was, and the idea that he not only died but was unhappy amplified the grief inside my chest.
“It doesn’t make me feel better,” I told her. “He might have left us, but I prefer to think he was happy.”
Isadora wiped a tear with the back of her hand. “He was happy for a long time. I was happy too.”
I didn’t miss the past tense. I preferred to think she still was. I wanted her to be happy and full of life, but I also wanted her to say she was only happy with us. The conflicting feelings were at war in my chest while a powerful fever took me hostage. She was mine, I knew with every fiber of my being.
She was ours.
“Is it horrible to say I like the idea that you are grieving him just as I am?” she asked me with a watery smile.
I shook my head. “No. It’s not when it’s true.”
It was the perfect moment between us, the bridge I wanted to build to reach her since she set foot in this house, and of course, it was ruined by the cold words coming from Sven.
“What a bunch of shit,” he sneered.
Chapter Sixteen
Sven
The rage coursing through my veins exploded from my lips, and I looked down at the pathetic scene in front of me.
No.
No, it would take more than this to forgive and let go. Fuck Karl’s happiness. I shook my head once more before turning on my heels and marching to the kitchen, unable to hear Per tryingto make this better one last time. My hands balled into fists, my anger and lust tangled inside me like twin flames growing at every turn until I reached the counter. My hands splayed over the cold marble, and I breathed out, hoping it was fury I was purging.
“Jävla skit!” I raked my fingers through my hair, murmuring more curses as I tried to remove my own scalp. My breathing was labored, my pulse sped, and I had to stop myself, rubbing my eyes and forcing deep breaths before I found myself in the middle of a panic attack.
Fuck Karl. He didn’t deserve my panic attack.
It wasn’t long until they crept in. My eyes whipped to their faces, my gaze going from one to the next. I was bursting to say many things, rehash the past, and unlock everything I had inside me for years. The words trying to make their way through my throat weren’t pretty. I blew out a breath, knowing everything that was about to come would change us forever.
“Sven, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Anders started.
I removed my hand from my eyes and pierced him with a look. How dare he ask what was wrong with me when he was the one who brought her into my life?
This fucking tiny, delicious omega who I wanted to kill, fuck, and marry at the same time? The swear words were on the tip of my tongue, ready to fly to Anders and hoping they would cut him like daggers, but then she came along, pushing Anders out of her way.
“Why don’t you explain to me?” she said, her eyes steady on mine. “Anders is right. I didn’t understand the pack bond. Why don’t you tell me how bad Dad betrayed you?”
Her words were soft, her eyes pleading, but I wasn’t falling for the false niceties. She was the enemy. Right in my heart, I knew.
“You create a bond with someone and then change your mind. Then try to mess the whole thing up. He was getting fuckingideas that—” I huffed, shaking. “I wasn’t going to leave my people. Three villages depend on me. It’s not just the betas, but I was training to be a doctor to our people. That was the responsibility I chose, and one I thought my pack supported me.”
“We did,” Per said, narrowing his eyes on me. “What are you talking about?”
Small villages like ours survive by building strong communities. When I decided to be a doctor, I knew I couldn’t leave my community. I vowed to serve them when I took over for the last alpha doctor. It was my vocation.
“He came to me.” I finally said the words stuck in my throat. “The night after Maja’s mating, he said he thought we should leave. Try to find a beta, try to be happy somewhere else. He wanted us to leave our families, our community, our people.”
“And you never cared to tell us that?” Anders asked with a tone I recognized better than the soft one he was using with the omega.
“I thought he was joking.” I let out a bitter laugh. “Leave everything behind? Leave our people without a doctor? His own parents? Sure, another doctor would fill the position, but he knew it would be a beta. He knew it was important to have one of our kind taking care of us. I told him how that sounded. Fucking selfish. A week went by, and I thought he forgot all about it, but…”
