But Autumn is everywhere now. Lingering in the taste of my coffee, in the quiet aftermath of my shower, in the way I reach for her without realizing I’m doing it. She’s bled into my routines like a watermark—proof of something I can’t erase.
I shove the chessboard hard enough to send the pieces flying, black and white scattering across the floor like the wreckage of a strategy that no longer works.
As I’m watching the pieces lie, I hear the soft rhythm of footsteps outside my door.
“Come in, Adeline.”
“Okay.” She steps into my office with a smile.
“How was the mothers and daughters recital the other day?” I ask her.
“It was very good,” she says. “I told you that when you picked me up.”
“I just thought about it again… Were there any special guests?”
“No…” She shrugs. “Unless you count bassist Ashley Conniver. Some people had never heard of her, but I knew who she was.”
“Anyone else?”
“Nope.” She sets her music on the stand and positions her bow.
I wait for her to crack under my glare, but she doesn’t.
She has my genes for sure…
When she finishes playing her piece—perfect as always—she takes a bow.
“Thank you for listening,” she says. “Did you like it?”
“I did,” I say. “I liked it almost as much as the piece you played onstage with Miss Jane the other night.”
Her face pales and she sucks in a gasp.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I think you ran her away.” She narrows her eyes. “I think you did something, and so…”
“I need you to apologize for lying to me.”
“I’m not sorry.”
“Adeline…”
“I. Am. Not. Sorry.” She heaves. “You couldn’t let me have one friend. Just one.”
“Miss Jane was an employee.” I can’t let both of us lean into fucking emotions. “She was paid to hang around you.”
“I don’t think she ‘quit’ at all.” She narrows her eyes, looking more defiant than she’s ever been with me. “I think she ‘left’ you, and I’m just collateral.”
I open my mouth to argue, to shut it down before the words sink in, but they already have. They’re buried beneath my ribs now, heavy and real.
“Your vocabulary has improved quite a bit since you started the new school.”
“Too bad my relationship with you hasn’t.” Her words cut like ice. “It’s bad enough I don’t have family and you won’t tell me why—no matter how many times I ask—but… you took away the only friend I ever had. I’m not sorry for anything I said, and I don’t forgive you.”
Her voice shatters something I’ve been holding together since the recital. I can still see Autumn’s hands on the violin. Her bow in sync with Adeline’s. Like they belonged in this world.
Myworld…
