“Watch you laugh.”
His gaze scanned my face as my smile faded.
“Just got to figure out how to make it happen more often, is all.”
Then he gave me a firm, closed-mouthed kiss before he moved back to close the car door.
I tried, but I couldn’t hold onto the light feeling that Mike calling my mother the queen of dicks gave me as we drove to the reception.
I was back to staring out of the window in silence. I didn’t want to be silent with Mike, and I knew it was a bad habit to slipback into, but the prospect of this much time with my family was simply too overwhelming.
“Your stepdad seems like a decent guy,” Mike said. “Even if the rest of your family are really fucking questionable.”
I shrugged. “Gareth is kind.”
Mike huffed. “It’s notkindto greet your stepdaughter with some semblance of affection. It’s bloody normal.”
I hummed in a non-committal agreement. I just wanted to get this whole day over with.
Luckily, when we arrived at the reception, and I checked the table plan, Mike and I were the furthest we could possibly be from my immediate family.
Mike didn’t seem to think it was lucky.
“What the fuck?” he growled as he plucked a champagne glass off a passing waiter to give to me, then asked for a pint of beer for himself. “First the church, and now this. Vicky, what is going on with your family?”
I felt my face heat and ducked my head so that I was speaking at the grass at my feet. “It’s fine, Mike. My family, they… you’ve got to understand, they’ve had to put up with me since I was a child. And I was a very difficult child. I still really annoy them, so it’s hard for them to be?—”
“What in the fuck are you talking about?” Mike ground out.
Oh dear, my explanation did not seem to be calming him down at all.
“Difficult child? Is that their excuse for treating you like shit?”
“Mike, honestly, Iwashard. I used to have a lot of meltdowns. Until I was about six, I could be really loud if something set me off. It was extremely embarrassing for Mum. That issue resolved of course with the mutism, because then, my meltdowns were mostly silent. But the not speaking wasconsidered aberrant also. It annoyed Mum a lot. And she didn’t believe in having me assessed, so?—”
“Hold on,” Mike cut me off. “You had regular meltdownsfor years, then you were mute, againfor years, and your mother never had you assessed?”
I shrugged. “The school tried, but Mum blocked it. She doesn’t really believe in labels. And she thought if they pandered to it, that would make me worse.”
“What about your dad?”
“Oh well, I didn’t really see much of him. Margot was the one at Buckingham Manor. As you must know, my father rarely visited.”
“So, he told his estranged wife to look after his mistress’s child and just buggered off?”
“Well, there wasn’t another option, really. Mum couldn’t cope with me for the whole summer, and Dad just sort of dumped me at the Manor. Margot wasn’t very happy at first, but after a while, she just got on with it—you know what she’s like. Ollie was brilliant, though; he accepted me immediately.”
“And Claire?”
“Claire’s seven years older than me. I was only there for a couple of weeks for few summers at the same time as her, and she mostly ignored me. Then she had Florrie quite young with no support from Florrie’s father. Things were a little better between us then. Florrie has always been quite attached to me and I like her direct nature very much. But after Claire married Blake things deteriorated again. I hate Blake.”
“Well, we all hate Blake.”
I shook my head. “No, Ialwayshated Blake. And I’m not good at lying. So, Claire had a few reasons why she didn’t like me. Firstly, she loved her father and saw me as the one who pushed him away from her mother, and secondly, she could tell I hated her husband. It’s fine.”
What I didn’t say is how very heartbroken I’d been when Claire had rejected me. How much I’d longed for a sister who didn’t hate me. How Claire’s disdain for me only solidified the knowledge that I was unlovable.
Mike’s jaw clenched. A waiter handed him a pint of beer, and he took a long sip before focusing back on me.
