I was ready for all the sex with Mike, and I knew he was ready for that too—at least I could feel the evidence that he was ready for sex.
When I explained this to him, in the interest of full disclosure, he’d made a pained groan and set me away from him, telling me in a strangled voice not tosay stuff like that,and that he wastrying to be good hereand togive him a break.
Those two flags of colour had appeared on his cheekbones again, and his pupils were so dilated, only a thin rim of golden brown was visible.
I found this all immensely frustrating.
Mike Mayweather was clearly a gentleman. He had found out about my inexperience and was under the false assumption that he needed to orchestrate a series of non-sex-related interactions prior to intercourse.
I like you very much.
Okay, so there was that confession of his as well. I’d replayed it over and over in my head since the weekend. But I knew better than to put my trust in what he’d said then. I knew that, unlike me, people didn’t always say what they meant.
I knew that there were often multiple agendas at play, and I could also still recall with perfect clarity the other words Mike had said to me just a few weeks ago.
Mike smiled at me, and I was momentarily frozen to the spot. His white teeth against his tan skin and dark beard was such a glorious sight that I almost dropped my menu.
“You’re an impatient little thing, aren’t you?” he said through his smile, and I rolled my eyes.
“I just don’t see the need for this rigmarole,” I said, still fascinated by his smiling face.
“Humour me,” he said softly, and I shrugged.
I was staying at Buckingham Manor again this weekend. Margot had asked me to come down to look at some of the Buckingham charitable foundation accounts.
I did explain to her that this could be achieved remotely, but she was insistent that I come in person. When I told Mike I was coming down, he immediately arranged this date, something Margot seemed to be unreasonably excited about.
But then Margot was acting very strangely overall. It took me all of ten minutes to ascertain that the accounts were, in fact, in perfect order, which was not surprising, seeing as Margot already had a team of financial advisors keeping them that way.
Clearly, she did not need any help with them. Shedid, however, want to talk about Lottie and Ollie’s break up. Margot was devastated that my half-brother had “fucked up so stupendously,” as she put it.
Truth be known, I was devastated too. Ollie had said some terrible things to Lottie after my breakdown at the gala, blaming her for what happened, and Lottie and Hayley had moved out of Buckingham House the following day.
So far, Ollie’s sustained attempts to win her back had been firmly rebuffed.
Now, I carried the guilt of that too. If I’d been able to tolerate some fireworks like a normal human, Ollie would never have said what he did to Lottie.
And Lottie was sad. Even I, with my terrible empathy, could intuit this. Lottie was one of my favourite people, and I didn’t want her sad. She helped me so much, in so many ways, and I found it incredibly frustrating that I couldn’t in turn help her with this, especially as I viewed the whole thing as my fault.
I’d decided to keep the Big Mike Date a secret from Lottie and Ollie. They had enough on their plate at the moment, and I knew that Ollie would be worried for me. Seeing as his overprotective tendencies towards me were what led to the breakdown of his relationship with Lottie in the first place, I didn’t want to involve him yet.
Margot had agreed to keep the date a secret as well.
When Mike picked me up tonight from Buckingham Manor, I’d explained to him,again, that he didn’t need to go through any of this in order to have sexual relations with me. That he didn’t need to lie about liking me.
He looked furious for a moment but then cleared his expression before checking if he could take my hand and leading me to his Land Rover.
Before I could say anything more, he’d wrenched open the passenger door, lifted me into the seat (after asking if he could put his hands on my hips), and then stood in the door, caging me in and frowning down at me.
“I can see that our discussion on Sunday didn’t quite penetrate,” he said through gritted teeth. “But that’s okay. Actions speak louder than words anyway, and so we’re going on this goddamn date and getting to know each other whether you like it or not. Because, baby, I like you. Remember?”
All I could do was nod wordlessly, and he’d slammed the door and stalked around to his side of the car. As we drove in silence to the restaurant he still seemed cross, so I didn’t want to question where we were going.
I should have questioned it though, because now I was going to look like a freak again.
“So, what can I get for you this evening?”
My anxiety ramped up another notch as I glanced up at the waiter who was now hovering next to our table. There was a long silence.
