Unfortunately, that backfired spectacularly when Lucy realised what I’d done and invited the smug fuck to come and have dinner with us after the bloody signing. I tried to dismissthe plan, but Lucy got that look on her face – the one that said she was annoyed that I didn’t respect her and her ideas. And seeing as I was deep down the rabbit hole of trying to win her trust I agreed. Plus there was the fact that I had misjudged Harry. He hadn’t been passing any information to his client. Turned out that Will had decided to do that – playing both sides in case he didn’t make partner and needed to jump ship to their firm. The CEO of the company was only too happy to rat him out. If I’d have bothered asking around before accusing Lucy I could have found out easily enough and that was on me.
And well, okay,maybeHarry’s notthat muchof a twatface when you get to know him. Andmaybehaving dinner with them wasn’t the worst idea in the world. AndmaybeI did learn something from the way Harry does business.
By the end of the day, three things were clear: I should always listen to Lucy; I’m a shit assistant; and I have a magic dick that can snap her out of a fug. That third fact I planned to use to my advantage, but only when the time was right.
Chapter 33
Hurt to hopeful
Felix
“I think they may even have branded Felix the worst assistant they’d ever encountered,” Lucy said through a wide smile.
“I told you he’d be rubbish,” snapped Emily as she struggled to contain Maisie, her squirming baby, on her lap. “He’s always been an arrogant, pig-headed, weasely ba—” She glanced at Hetty who was holding out her swear jar, then down at her own daughter before she rolled her eyes, “—banana-brain.”
“Good insult,” I said with a smirk.
“Eff off, Moretti,” she snapped just as Maisie decided to launch herself forward out of Emily’s arms. Luckily, I was close enough to swoop down and catch the baby before her head could hit the wooden table. I scooped her up and secured her on my hip. Maisie, totally unaware of the near-miss she just had, gave me a gummy smile and then patted my face fairly aggressively (like mother like daughter – I’m sure Emily would hit me again if it was socially acceptable).
“Oh well done, Felix,” said Hetty as she bustled around me and Maisie to boil the kettle. “You’re always such a good boy.”
Emily rolled her eyes and made a gagging motion behind Hetty’s back whilst Mike let out a grumbly laugh.
“Ugh,” Emily groaned. “Now we have to put up with some sort of hot-guy-baby Levi ad scenario. It’s too early in the morning for this, Felix.”
I smiled down at Emily as her baby continued to pummel my face. It was the first time she’d called me Felix instead of Moretti since I’d been back in Little Buckingham, which I considered progress. I glanced at Lucy to see her staring up at me with a slightly glazed expression and decided this baby could beat the shit out of me all she wanted if it got that sort of reaction from Lucy. But then the moment was broken by the shrill doorbell ringing, followed by pounding on the front door.
“Felix Moretti!” Mum shouted in between banging. “I know you’re in there. You come out here and see your mother!”
“Christ,” I muttered as Hetty bustled past me to get the door.
“Now then, Bianca,” Hetty said in her firmest tone. “Let’s stay calm, shall we.”
“Calm my arse!” Mum said. “Jimbo told me he saw Felix two hours ago. It’s been like this for weeks. Why am I always the last to know when my son’s home? And why do I have to hear it from an inebriated bartender at the post office?” Mum appeared in the doorway then, her normally meticulously styled hair all over the place and her mascara smudged.
“Hi, Mum,” I said in a resigned tone. Unfortunately, with Mum, sometimes you just had to ride out the drama. She glanced at me then at Maisie who was still bouncing in my arms, her gummy smile now aimed at my harassed-looking mother.
“Oh my God,” Mum breathed, her face paling. “Whose baby is that?”
“Not to worry, Mrs G,” Emily put in, getting up from her chair and coming over to take Maisie from me. “This one’s mine. You remember me? Emily? My husband Geoff fixed your back fence three months ago.”
Mum put her hand flat to her chest in a gesture of relief. “Oh yes, thank God for that.”
Emily looked up at me, gave me a little eye roll and a small smile, tinged with a bit of sympathy. “Catch you later Lucy, Felix. Thanks for the tea, Hets.” She patted me on the arm and mouthed “Good luck”, and then practically ran out of there. I didn’t really blame her – I would have done the same if I could. I sighed.
“Mum, honestly what did you think? That I’d had a secret baby?”
“Well, how would I know?” Mum snapped. “You never tell me anything anymore. I barely see you. You could have hadfivechildren and left me none the wiser.”
I opened my mouth to answer but was interrupted by Legolas trotting into the kitchen straight to Mum. He head-butted her side, and she absently stroked his nose. My eyebrows went up in surprise. Mum was a very anxious person, and she worried a lot about germs. She used to avoid touching Hetty’s dogs back in the day. I wouldn’t have thought casually stroking a pony was in her repertoire of behaviour.
“Right, come on, Bianca,” Hetty said in her firm, let’s get on with this tone. “In you come to the kitchen. We can make a cup of tea. Maybe you can convince Legolas to go outside. He does tend to listen to you more than anyone else.”
Legolasthe ponylistened to my mum? The most uptight human I knew? I was having trouble processing this. Hetty’s no-nonsense tone did seem to snap Mum out of her frozen statethough. She moved into the kitchen and to me. I reached for her to give her a hug and kissed both of her cheeks.
“I’m sorry, Mum,” I said. “I was going to come and see you. But we only just got back from London.”
Mum looked between me and Lucy, her expression going from hurt to hopeful in a heartbeat. “Have you sorted it?” she asked softly. She was talking to me but looking at Lucy.
