“Vicky, I?—”
“I heard you two from my office,” Victoria said. “And I already know about Lucy’s inability to regulate her temperature. I’ve done some research.”
Felix’s hand went up to the back of his neck. “Vicky, we’ve got one of our most important investors coming in the afternoon. You don’t have time to go out and?—”
“Go out?” Victoria asked, her perfect nose wrinkling in disgust. “To shop inpublic? Are you insane? We can order it all. Can’t we, Lottie?”
Lottie was smiling at me as she walked forward to draw up next to Victoria. “Sure we can. And if anyone has to go out in public,heaven forbid, I thinkIcan handle it. Come on, Luce.” Lottie dropped Victoria’s arm, moved to me and started pushing me in the direction of Vicky’s office. I glanced back at Felix. He still had his hands on his hips, but his head was tilted to the side as if struggling to work out the dynamic between Victoria and me. Granted, we didn’t exactly have a lot in common. I was as confused as him.
I almost gasped when we made it into Victoria’s office.
“Crikey, I thought Felix had a big one.”
“That’s what she said,” Lottie said without missing a beat, surprising a startled laugh from me.
Victoria frowned for a moment before her expression cleared. “Oh yes, I remember. You taught me this one last week: if someone comments on the size of something, or says that it won’t fit – anything of that nature – then you can follow up with the ‘that’s what she said’ line. And it’s funny because people think you’re referring to man’s pe?—”
“Okay!” Lottie cut her off. “Thanks, hun. But I think Lucy gets it.”
“Hmm,” Victoria hummed. “So what were you referring to, Lucy, if not Felix’s penis?”
Lottie snorted a laugh.
“His office,” I replied quickly, feeling my cheeks heat. “His bigoffice. Yours smashes his though.”
“I like space,” Victoria said, then shook her head. “No, it’s more than that. Ihaveto have space. And light. I can’t breathe without them.”
“Well, you’re alright here then.” Her office had so much square footage that you could have hosted the entire clientele of The Badger’s Sett and still have had room for more. Two of the walls were completely glass from floor to ceiling. The desk in the centre was huge and L-shaped with two computer stations on either side.
“Right,” Victoria said briskly, pulling out her office chair and sitting down at her computer. “Lottie, bring up the tabs I saved. This shouldn’t take long.”
Wow.Vicky, as I was now to call her, was a genius. A very weird, asocial genius, but a genius nonetheless. I was warm, and I didn’t look like a crazy Eskimo. In fact, I even looked… nice. I was wearing a roll-neck, fitted, thick cashmere dress, fleece-lined tights, and fur-lined boots with only a small heel. Underneath the dress I had on very thin, fine merino wool, lace-trimmed, crazy-comfortable thermals. I didn’t own much smart clothing, but I was definitely a convert. It was like magic. I’d given Vicky an unwelcome hug after changing into the new clothes, such was my excitement. It didn’t go down well. But as I blinked at myself in the full-length mirror, I was glad I’d done it.
And Vicky wasn’t content to stop there. She told Lottie to sortthe worksfor me. It soon became clear that this involved hair and make-up at an upmarket salon. My hair was down and in soft waves around my face. My make-up was perfect. Having pretty much given up on make-up a while ago, this was a huge shock. I didn’t think it was something I’d be able to reproduce. I felt like someone else. Someone glamorous. Someone whobelongedin London.
Vicky and Lottie had been to their Very Important Meetings during my transformation. They’d sent me off to the salon after telling Will that I’d be unavailable for the rest of the day. This information had been met with unveiled hostility from Will. Why he was cross that I wouldn’t be on hand was anyone’s guess. I’d already done his work for him with the publicity department, something that he was now getting all the credit for. And for the PA stuff Tabitha was far more capable. Having me around was only ever a hindrance. I suspected that he just didn’t like not having me there to torment. He had probably cooked up some further humiliation for me today and was not pleased to have his plans thwarted. But Vicky was his superior. There was no arguing with her really.
“Yowsers!” Lottie shouted when she found me back at my desk later that day. “Transformation complete, I’d say. Right, you can’t let this go to waste. Come out with us.”
“You’re not going to a party with tiny food, are you?” I asked. “It’s just that didn’t really turn out to be my thing.”
Lottie laughed. “No tiny food in sight, I promise. Just an office outing to the pub. Doesn’t happen too often and Vics doesn’t normally go but she’s agreed tonight.”
“For practice,” put in Vicky and I tilted my head to the side in confusion as I looked at her.
“Practice?”
“Practice for interacting appropriately with other human beings.”
“And for fun, right, hun?” Lottie said, giving Vicky a gentle look.
Vicky blinked. “There is nothing fun about this scenario.”
“Wow,” I said, smiling at Vicky. “We’re as bad as each other.”
“I seriously doubt that,” Vicky said with conviction.
Lottie cleared her throat, bringing my attention back to her. “Hey, listen, you didn’t take the company credit card earlier. Felix’s made it clear that you weren’t to spendyourmoney on the clothes and stuff.”
