She frowned. “What do you mean ‘for as long as Harry will stay’? You don’t sound very sure of him.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust him. I just know that once he…” I trailed off and looked to the side. It was impossible to explain the underlying dread I had that really, underneath it all, I was still not good enough for a decent man like Harry. Deep in my psyche I was still that unwanted child. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “All I mean is that I absolutely treasure every moment with your son and would never ever hurt him.”
Mrs York tipped her head to the side as if trying to figure out a puzzle as she stared at me, but as she opened her mouth to speak I’d already moved to leave. In the boardroom and when it came to negotiating business transactions I was tough as nails, but I knew I didn’t have the strength for this. I walked out to the garden and Harry jogged over to me, slinging his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side and kissing the top of my head. I let myself relax into him. I gave myself these moments – I deserved them after everything. When I looked up, Mrs York was staring at me and Harry from the kitchen. The frown was gone now, replaced by curious expression. I broke eye contact with her when a small hand tugged at my skirt.
“Up!” shouted the stout little man at my feet. I smiled at him before leaning down to pick him up (I had no doubt that if I didn’t he would be able to tug my skirt clean off – he seemed pretty strong). Once his chubby legs had settled around my hips and his face was level with mine, he put his hands on my cheeks and squeezed together before giggling and collapsing into me, his little arms circling my neck as he nuzzled in under my chin. I’d held Max and Mia’s daughter before, but other than that I’d rarely been hugged by a child. I thought of having my very own niece or nephew soon, and for some reason my throat felt tight and to my horror my eyes stung with tears which I quickly blinked away. After suppressing my emotions for years, my experience in France coupled with finding out I was going to be an auntie seemed to have opened the dam and I was now a total sap. Harry’s arm which was still around my shoulders tightened and I turned to look up at him.
“You okay?” he whispered.
“Of course,” I said, my voice hoarse through my tight throat. Harry frowned. I felt Jake settle more deeply into me and become heavier in my arms. His breathing evened out and I realised he was falling asleep.
“I can take him if…?”
“No,” I said quickly, hugging the child closer to me. “I mean, no it’s fine. Let him sleep. The little guy hasn’t stopped moving since he got here.”
Harry helped me and Jake to the padded garden swing, then went back to his niece and nephew who wanted Unca Hazza to play catch.
“Don’t mind Jean,” Steph said as she settled next to us on the swing. “She’ll come around.”
I shrugged. “I don’t blame her.”
Steph cocked her head to the side. “I would ask you about what went down back then, but you look wrung out to be honest.”
I gave her a grateful smile.
“Listen, Harry told me you’ve had a rough time of it recently. I want you to know that I’m on your side, even if my stubborn mother-in-law takes a bit longer to get with the programme.”
“She’s got good reason to be wary.”
“I’m guessing there’s more than one side to that story,” Steph said, and I realised that she was more perceptive than I’d given her credit for. “I’m here when you’re ready to tell me yours. My kids are good judges of character.” She stroked her sleeping son’s back then smiled at me. “Just like their mother.” I managed a small smile back and thankfully kept the tears at bay.
Later, when the Yorks were leaving and Mrs York was fussing over her grandchildren, hugging her daughter-in-law and her sons whilst I received a formal, icy goodbye, I felt a swift bite of jealousy. The Yorks were a close knit family. Whatever Steph said, it was obvious that I wasn’tevergoing to belong. It was only a matter of time before Harry worked that out for himself.
Chapter29
You were a child
Verity
“Yaz, darling, all I’m saying is that maybe you shouldn’t wear those shoes all night,” I said, shoving a pair of glamourous flats that I’d brought for her under her nose. We were at a gala dinner raising money for Harry’s foundation. The focus was on the new LSE building and the youth project it would house – a huge model of it was in the centre of the hall, while plans and images were projected onto the walls. It was a black-tie event and Yaz was in the outfit I’d bought for her a while ago. She looked absolutely stunning, but the heels had to go.
Yaz rolled her eyes. “You and your brother are a nightmare. You’re obsessed with bullying me about my footwear. You do know it’s weird to carry shoes around with you? And can I remind you that these shoe-slash-torture-devices were chosenby you. I’m not swapping to flats now that I’ve mastered them. You always tell me I have to wear heels at these things. And, by the way,yourheels are about an inch taller than mineand half as thin!” She wasn’t wrong. I was wearing a long-sleeved, high necked but backless silver dress. My heels were at least four inches, and the stiletto was razor thin.
“No offence, but you’re still crap at walking in those things,” Heath put in, smiling down at his wife as he handed her an orange juice. “You would have fallen over twice if I hadn’t been holding you up on the way in here.” Yaz was much more of a flip-flop and trainer girl than a four-inch-heel wearer. Walking in heels was second nature to me but for her it was more challenging. And I wasn’t going to have her falling over and risk something terrible happening either to her, or to my niece or nephew. Yes, I’d bought those heels for Yaz originally, but that was back when I wanted her to knock my brother’s socks off and show the stubborn idiot that he needed to get off his butt and make an effort or she’d slip through his fingers. That was all ancient history now, way before she was carrying such precious cargo, and now she needed to wear sensible shoes and keep my niece or nephew safe in there.
“Well then,” Yaz said, going up on tiptoes to give Heath a light kiss on the mouth. “It’s just as well I have you there isn’t it? Problem solved.”
I shook my head in frustration. “Heath can’t follow you everywhere. And it’s probably not good for your feet when you’re carrying another human around.”
“V, your niece or nephew is only the size of a tennis ball at the moment.” Her hand went down to her small bump and Heath’s arm came around to settle his over the top, linking their fingers together. “I think I can manage in heels.”
“But if you fall then–”
“I’m fine, V.”
“It’s just–”
“Wow, I thought you were bossy before, but this is next level. Fine, fine, I’ll wear the damn shoes.”
