“So, Heath,” Dad said after an uncomfortable silence. “How is everything in the emergency department? One of my patients spoke very highly of you the other day.”
And so we moved on to Heath’s achievements. I pushed my pasta around my plate, appetite a thing of the past. It appeared everyone around the table was either saving lives, housing people in need while saving the environment, or advocating for domestic abuse victims. I felt like an outsider within my own family. It wasn’t only because of their worthy endeavours, it was the fact that their lives hadn’t been easy. Mum, Max and Mia had been through so much. I’d had a cosseted childhood and had only ever lived a cushy existence ever since. Listening to them made me feel like a worthless, spoiled brat. My mood sank even further.
“Yazmin, are you going to eat that?” I looked up at Mum’s sharp tone. “It’s just you’ve lost weight. Those clothes you insist on wearing are hanging off you. It’s bad enough that they’re fraying and tattered, but they should at least fit properly.”
“Mam,” Max said in a warning tone.
“What? Isn’t anyone else going to say anything? She’s skin and bone – it’s clear that she’s not been taking care of herself.” She turned back to me. “You shouldn’t just spend all your time on the water and fiddling about with crystals, young lady. You need to eat healthily and take care of yourself as well, you know.”
“Fern, I don’t think–” Dad said, but Mum interrupted.
“Somebody’s got to say it, Aubrey. She needs to take some responsibility for herself. Are you listening, Yazmin?”
“Sure,” I muttered at my plate. “Whatever you say, Mum.” My gaze went to the huge glass front of the house. I could see the wind picking up outside – the branches of the trees were moving. I wondered how long I had to sit here and put up with this. Once I could get away to the sea, then all this would disappear. I wouldn’t have to worry about not feeling good enough. I wouldn’t have to think about anything at all.
“I don’t know if you are aware, but Yaz is actually a qualified windsurfing and yoga instructor and a certified reiki practitioner.”
My head whipped around from the window to focus on Heath and my mouth fell open.
“What?” Mum asked, disbelief clear in her tone.
“Are those certificates you bought over the internet, love?” Dad asked with a chuckle, and I felt the familiar humiliation slash through me. Bloody Heath bringing up my stupid, irrelevant qualifications. I was sitting at a table with professionals who held medical, architectural and computing degrees. Was he trying to embarrass me?
“No, actually those qualifications involve a huge amount of work. And I understand she did it all while working full time.” Heath’s voice was laced with a fair amount of irritation now. I didn’t know what he was trying to achieve, but if he thought my parents were going to be impressed with my off-beat ‘qualifications’,he was sorely mistaken.
“Oh well, that’s great, love,” Dad said.
“Yes… er, well done,” Mum put in.
I’m sure they didn’t mean it to happen, but their words just came across as patronising.
“Reiki?” Mum said. “That’s poking around at people’s feet, isn’t it?”
There was a tense silence for a moment. I could have punched Heath. Dad broke the silence with a chuckle.
“Full time work you say, Heath? That’s a new one as far as Yaz is concerned.” He chuckled again. We were back on familiar ground now. “When you’re not filling in on reception for Max, I thought you just dabbled in a bit of yoga, waved your crystals at people, then did your tricks on the water to sell a few bikinis, love.”
“That’s not all–” Mia started her usual defence of me. It was sweet of her, but it made no actual difference to be honest. But, to everyone’s surprise, Heath cut her off.
“Yaz is a professional windsurfer and kitesurfer. She gets sponsorship because of the high standard she’s reached. That’s why she can sell the kit she uses – not just because she looks good in a bikini.”
“We know she’s good at all that, but… well, it’s not exactly a career.”
“Except itisa career. She’s a business owner. Have you ever been to her well-being centre on the harbour?”
Everyone sat and stared at Heath. My mum’s head was tilted to the side and her eyes were narrowed. Mum would always be the first person to guess that something was going on when I was a teenager. You couldn’t hide things from Fern Hardcastle – she was too perceptive.
“Is that the little studio you use for your yoga?” Dad asked. I sighed inwardly. I did not want to discuss this with him. Dad cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. “Well, I’m sorry, sweetpea,” he said. “You know we mean nothing by it when we tease you about your stuff. And we didn’t know how hard you’ve been working.”
“You should have said something,” Mum told me, switching her piercing gaze from Heath to me.
I let out a hollow laugh and pushed my plate away. “What would be the point? I can’t exactly compete with Max or any of you, can I? I’m well aware of how silly my… mylifesounds in comparison.”
“Yaz, that’s not fair,” Max said, frowning across the table at me. “You can’t be mad at us for treating you like a flake when you act like one.”
A flake. Wearing surf clothes over a bikini and flip-flops, loving the ocean and the wind, and believing in alternative therapies made me a flake. None of them had ever understood me. None of them understood how competitive the water sports market was. None of them would ever consider a well-being centre to be a proper business, not in the way that Max’s was. Everything that was important to me they just brushed off as a collection of hobbies that I would grow out of. They didn’t get that the passion I had for the sea wasn’t something you could grow out of. Whatever else happened in my life, I would never walk away from that. All they saw was flaky, directionless, over indulged Yaz. I was sick of it.
“I haven’t asked you for money since I turned eighteen,” I said to my parents, then turned to Max. “Can you say the same?”
