“Listen, you don’t have to worry about me still seeing Henry if that’s it. He’s my friend – of course I’ll still be a part of–”
“Fuck Henry.”
“Uh . . .”
Barclay took a deep breath in and then I felt the air from his lungs whoosh over my head. “I love my brother, but that is not why I’m here, Kira.”
“I know,” I told him, wiping under my eyes and pushing back against his chest to look up at his face. “I understand and it’s great, but honestly,honestly, you don’t have to come and find me and be all formal about it. I know I’ve been a bit weepy – which btw is not the way I normally roll – but I’m not going to stalk you or obsess over you. I won’t –”
“Well, I bloody well will,” he snapped, frowning down at me.
“You will what?”
“Obsess over you. No. That’s not true. Ialreadyobsess over you. I’m consumed by you – the way you laugh, the way you move, your freedom, your humour, even your beautiful, ridiculous hair. I meant what I said last night. You’re under my skin, in my blood.”
I blinked and my eyebrows went up into my forehead. Right then.
Chapter 18
Like leaves in the wind
Kira
“I am?”
“Yes, you are. And I am not giving you up after last night. I can’t go back to not seeing you for weeks on end.”
“I . . . okay. What exactly do you want to happen here?”
Barclay threw his hands up in the air in a gesture of frustration. “I want tobewith you.”
“What? For real?”
“Yes, of course for bloody real.”
I tilted my head to the side and put my hands on my hips. “That’s crazy.”
“No, I actually think this may be the sanest decision I’ve made in the last two months since we met.”
I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. The way he spoke about me was flattering, but it was almost as though he liked me despite himself. Under his skin? In his blood? It sounded more like he’d contracted a terrible blood-borne disease than started a relationship.
“Barclay, we don’t suit each other,” I told him the God’s honest truth. “We’re complete opposites. I would drive you nuts. I already drive you nuts. I don’t think you’ve thought this through.”
“I don’t have any choice,” he told me, stepping into my personal space again and leaning his forehead against mine. He slipped an arm around my waist and ran his other hand through my hair. “Ineedyou, Kira.”
I sighed and my body moved into his automatically, like it was inevitable. “You don’t nee–”
“I haven’t slept more than five hours at a time for over ten years, and I never sleep deeply. With you beside me last night, I was out. I’m a light sleeper, but even you sneaking off didn’t wake me. I feel incredible today. You make me feel incredible – lighter, bloody happy. So no, you’re wrong. Idoneed you and I will not be giving you up.”
I closed my eyes. Images of his previous significant others flashed through my mind. (My extensive Google research of this man had started before I even met him; I knew the type of woman he was normally seen with.) There was a lawyer, a financial consultant, even a West End actress – quite a diverse group. But they all had in common their effortless style, their subtle not in-your-face beauty, their calm behaviour, and their decorum. I had none of those traits. Yes, my style was effortless for me, but it was off-the-wall in a big way – even I won’t deny that. I’m one of the most in-your-face people on the planet. I’m not calm and as for decorum . . .
“Kira!” my mother’s shout from down the corridor came filtering through the door. “Sweets, where are you? The Ferret’s Testicles aresostoned. One of them is using his flute to try and suck up peoples’ beer and the other is playing with his cacks around his ankles. You need to get out here and sort it out. They can’t perform with Urvi until they’ve sobered up.”
“I’ll be out in a minute, Mum,” I called back, forgetting my mother had the ears of a bat and a sixth sense when it came to my whereabouts. Instead of retreating footsteps, I heard approaching ones and I rolled my eyes to the ceiling.
“What are you doing in there, love?” her voice called again but this time it was just outside the door.
“Mum,” I said in a warning tone. The door handle started to turn and I grabbed it on my side to stop it, but mum had always been freakishly strong and my puny hands were no match for her determination. After a brief struggle, the door was flung open and light came pouring into the dim space from the corridor outside. Mum looked at me then at Barclay. Her mouth fell open before her face lit up with a massive grin.
