‘Right, okay,’ Pav said. He sounded shell-shocked, but instead of pushing her away like a freaky twenty-six-year-old virgin would deserve, he pulled her in tighter to his side, grabbed the hand that was in Beauty’s fur and entwined his fingers with hers before settling them both on his hard stomach. When Beauty objected he told her to bugger off. The dog responded by shifting his massive head onto Pav’s lap and drooling on his arm.
A few long moments passed before Pav managed to speak again, and when he did, his voice was slightly strangled for some reason.
‘So, going back to the original question: do you like Game of Thrones?’
‘Yes.’
‘Okay then. Libby has them all on her planner, the little nerd, if you want to watch it from the –’
‘I’ve seen all the episodes apart from –’
‘Last night’s,’ Pav supplied, a smile back in his voice. ‘See, you’re perfect for me.’ He clicked through with the remote and selected the episode. Millie settled more deeply into him and let herself breathe in his gorgeous washing-powder-with-undercurrent-of-man smell for a few minutes. That time was spent ignoring the television (something unheard of for her whilst Game of Thrones was on) and building up her courage to ask Pav a question. She would have left it, but that experience was just too incredible to allow her too.
‘Um … Pav?’
‘Yeah?’
‘When … when do we do that again?’
‘Millie, I think we’ve done enough for now,’ he told her, his voice back to being strangled and hoarse.
‘Er … have we?’ she asked. ‘I mean … you … ?’
Pav let out a choked noise, then cleared his throat.
‘We’re going to go slow,’ he said, his voice firm – he sounded like he was making a vow to himself.
‘Oh.’ Millie’s mouth twisted to the side. ‘Okay. Well. Let me know when we’ve waited long enough for it to count as “going slow”.’
Pav groaned as his chest started shaking with laughter. ‘Bloody hell, you’re going to kill me; I’ve created a monster.’
Chapter 21
You just wait until next year, right?
An hour later and a Game of Thrones episode down, Millie’s phone buzzed. She knew it would be a text from her mother and she knew she didn’t want to look at it, not whilst she was so comfortable next to Pav and underneath a giant dog’s head. (Pav had tried to push Beauty off after saying, quite rightly, that she smelled of decaying flesh, but she was just too large to move with brute force.) So Millie ignored her phone, despite the barrage of texts that followed. Unfortunately Pav’s hand was resting over her back pocket and he felt the vibration.
‘You must be a fan if you won’t even check your phone whilst a Lannister’s head is being chopped off,’ he’d probed, and Millie just shrugged.
A minute passed before he spoke again. ‘Millie, what was all that with your mum on the phone earlier? It sounded … uh … well. Does she always upset you that much?’
Millie stiffened.
‘You can tell me, you know,’ he said softly. ‘I promise you can trust me.’
‘I …’ Millie trailed off, the right answer was yes; yes her mother did always upset her that much, if not more. That’s why she had as limited contact as possible. ‘She didn’t upset me,’ Millie lied, thinking that it might be easier than the complicated, unpleasant truth.
‘Oh really?’ Pav said. She glanced up at his face and saw that his eyebrows were raised. ‘So why were you as close to tears as I’ve ever seen you earlier, and why were you hurting yourself again? Didn’t seem like a friendly chat to me.’
‘My mother is …’ Hmm, thought Millie, how best to describe her mother? Surprisingly she heard Kira’s voice in her head saying ‘raging bitch’, and stifled a giggle. An actual giggle … whilst thinking about her mother. What was happening to her? ‘My mother is … complicated.’
‘Well, if she’s going to be that unpleasant then maybe you should have it out with her. I could always –’
‘No, no,’ Millie jumped in, panic cutting through her relaxed brain at the thought of Pav getting involved in the mess that was her family. ‘I mean, I don’t speak to them anyway unless it’s Christmas or my bir …’ She stopped mid-word and clamped her mouth shut.
‘Your what?’
‘Nothing, forget I said any –’
