Chapter 12
I know pain when I see it
Millie balanced her large Tupperware in one hand whilst the other unwound her huge scarf, as she made her way through the chairs to get to Gammy’s usual table near the front. It was one of the El Compulsory Accessories that Millie genuinely loved. She was glad that taking what was basically a small blanket and wrapping it around your neck like a nomadic Mongolian goat-herder was considered fashionable: it was so warm, and Millie hated being cold. She’d left her coat on the racks by the door, so she just had on a large jumper, which nearly came down to her knees, and her leggings. Her hair was loose and she wore very little make-up. This was one of the few places where Millie didn’t feel the overwhelming need to strive for perfection, so she could have a break from her up-do and relieve the constant pulling on her scalp. She smiled as she saw Gammy sitting in her wheelchair at their usual table, her tweed suit, high-necked blouse and white hair all perfectly styled as always. But Gammy was distracted. Very distracted. Millie froze, the Tupperware slipped from her grip onto the table, and her blanket scarf dropped to the floor.
‘Hey, Millie,’ Pav said cheerfully, pulling his chair back and skirting Gammy to retrieve Millie’s scarf from the floor. ‘You okay? You seem a little out of it.’ Millie’s eyes widened in horror. She shot an accusing glance at Gammy, who shrugged and beamed back at her.
‘Stop scowling and give your Gammy a kiss, darling,’ Gammy bossed. Millie leaned down and brushed the downy, lined, beloved cheek with her lips and Gammy gave her hand a squeeze. When she straightened she could see there was a distinct twinkle in Gammy’s familiar grey eyes.
‘What a gentleman,’ one of Gammy’s best friends, Doris, who was sitting the other side of Gammy at the table breathed, as Pav handed Millie’s scarf back to her.
‘Come and sit down, Mils,’ he said to Millie, ushering her around Gammy to sit next to him at the small table as if it were perfectly normal to be in an old people’s residential home of a Friday night.
‘What are you doing here?’ Millie hissed, nearly jumping out of her skin as he pulled her chair right next to his so that their thighs were touching, and draped his arm across the back of it (a possessive gesture totally unnecessary in a community room full of – predominantly – ladies with a collective average age of over eighty). Millie felt her stomach hollow out. Her heart was hammering in her chest. Only Pav could turn a woman on in the middle of bloody Northpark Residential Home’s games night.
‘You’ve kept quiet about this one, darling,’ Gammy said, now beaming at Pav. ‘He tells us you two have been close for a while. And to want to come down for Bingo – well: a man who can appreciate a good sausage roll and wants to get to know a lady’s grandmamma is a jolly good sort in my book.’
Millie leaned forward and pinched the bridge of her nose. This was not happening. The last thing she wanted was for Pav to know that the only meaningful social interaction she had was in a goddamn old people’s home. She’d prefer that he wasn’t party to the very sad details of her narrow life. There were some subjects Millie studiously avoided, like anything to do with her family.
‘IloveBingo,’ Pav said smoothly, winking at Gammy, who Millie could have sworn blushed. (To still be able to blush at the age of eighty-six was a skill in itself.) ‘Millie and I had a date for this evening –’
‘We did not h–’ Pav reached under the table and gave Millie’s hand a firm squeeze. Her mouth shut with a snap and she lost the power of speech.
‘But I had an interesting chat with Don this afternoon whilst you were at ALS training, Millie,’ Pav said, giving her a quick wink before he turned back to Gammy. ‘He told meallabout the bingo and yourself, Mrs Morrison, and I couldn’t have Millie missing out on this tonight.’
‘You can call me Gammy, dear,’ Gammy told him, leaning forward to pat his hand. ‘A friend of Millie’s is a friend of mine.’ Millie’s eyebrows went up. Gammy knew very well she didn’t have any friends.
She scowled down at his large warm hand still resting on hers, and shifted in her seat.
Pav’s upper body jerked forward suddenly. ‘Who’s this laddie?’ Lindy asked, withdrawing her stick from its position held aloft to poke Pav sharply in the back. Pav turned to look at the small lady. Lindy was a hundred and one years old. Her back was so stooped that even standing she was at eye level with a seated Pav. Her hair was bright red – well, at least the half that wasn’t the grey roots coming through was, and she never took off her long thick woollen tartan coat.
‘Hello, I’m Pavlos.’ Pav’s smile was met by a fierce scowl from Lindy.
‘What’s this now? Ah dinnae ken you were courting, Millie-girl?’
‘I’m not,’ Millie said through gritted teeth. ‘Pav’s a … I mean, Pavlos works with me … well, not with me, he works at the same hospital as me and –’
‘And we’re courting,’ Pav put in. Lindy started making a rather alarming wheezing noise, which Millie eventually realised was her form of laughing.
‘You’re all bum and parsley aren’t you boy?’ Lindy said in between her wheezes, giving Pav another poke with her stick – this time in his shoulder.
Pav turned questioning eyes to Millie and she shook her head. Lindy’s turn of phrase was not always easy to decipher and wasn’t helped by her strong Scottish accent. She had used that particular assessment before to describe the new vicar – Gammy had told her it meant she thought he was a blowhard.
‘Um … yes?’ Pav answered, making Lindy wheeze all the more.
‘Buck up, Millie-girl,’ she said once she’d recovered herself. ‘You’re a long time deid you know, may as well have your fun with the fellas being a bonnie wee lass. ’
‘Lindy I don’t think –’
‘Och, you're a wee scunner all right.’
‘Er …’
‘Now then, where’re my shortbreads?’
Millie pushed Pav’s hand off her thigh and stood up on shaky legs to get the lid off the massive Tupperware she’d brought, then dished out a couple to Lindy.
‘Keep ’em coming, lassie,’ Lindy told her as she shoved at least five into her handbag. Finally satisfied with her haul, she turned to Pav again.
