“Visiting my sister,” she answered with ease.
“How’s Michelle?” I asked.
“She’s good. Just the usual boy drama,” she said, and then paused for a minute, maybe watching the TV, maybe watching me. I couldn't tell. I couldn't bring myself to look at her to see if our act was working. Did we seem normal? I saw Ryan give me a surreptitious glance in my peripheral, but he didn't say anything.
“Alright, well, I'm going to take a shower and go to bed,” she said after a long silence. “Long day.”
I nodded.
“Night.”
“Goodnight,” Ryan said quickly.
When the sound of her footsteps disappeared up the stairs, it was like all the air left me. I deflated, sinking into the cushions.
My hands were shaking, my mind too confused to even begin to make sense of whatever the fuck had just happened.
I could still feel Ryan's hands, his lips. They’d left trails of heat all over my body.
Why had he done that? Why had I gone with it?
“You should probably head out,” I said, not looking at him.
“…Yeah. I guess so.”
He pushed to his feet, and I noticed that he swayed.
And that he was beautiful.
In a masculine way, of course, but yeah. Attractive was attractive, and Ryan was that. I'd always known it too. I hadn't wanted to kiss him before though. And yet, right now, his lips were a deeper pink than usual, full from being onme.
I pushed to my feet, feeling dazed as he looked around, found his baseball cap, and pushed his hair back into it before grabbing his jacket from where he’d thrown it over the ottoman.
He walked to the entryway, and I followed him like a lost puppy, unsure what to say.
At the door, for a long moment, we both stood there not saying anything at all.
Then it hit me.
“I'm a hypocrite.”
My quiet, barely spoken words may as well have been shouted, because Ryan flinched.
“It’s my fault,” he insisted in a whisper. “It was stupid. I'm sorry.”
I shook my head. He certainly hadn't forced anything. Unexpected as it was, I'd wanted his touch. His comfort.
“I just wanted to make you feel better,” he said, glancing in the direction Melissa had gone. “I don't know what I was fucking thinking. Please don't blame yourself.”
His hand touched my elbow and I accidentally leaned into it. God, he was like a warm blanket. I wanted to wrap him around me.
What was going on with me?
Ryan noticed and leaned slightly closer, his thumb stroking my skin.
“Let's just forget this ever happened, okay?”
I nodded, even though that seemed like a tall order.
