I couldn't say that I was surprised, but it still hurt.
“Why not?”
He sighed.
“She had a headache when I got home. I was going to tell her anyway, but then she started telling me about her day and howstressed she was at work and she startedcryingand I just felt so fucking guilty…”
He shut his eyes.
“The whole time, I wanted to go back to your place and crawl back into bed with you... I feel like the worst person ever, Kamran.”
I didn’t know what to say.
He was standing here, telling me about hiswife, and I didn't care.
Did that make me a bad person? The answer to that question wasyes.Irrevocably yes. But I was just going to have to get over it fast because that little nugget of truth wasn't enough to stop me from doing this.
I needed Kamran more than I needed air. To feel him, mind, body, and soul, inside and outside and upside down. And nowifewas going to stop me.
Not now that I knew he felt the same way.
“Let's get off the path,” I finally said.
He nodded dejectedly and let me lead him to the lookout point, his hand in mine.
This early in the morning, the odd person jogging or walking their dogs would go by, but today, the park was mostly empty.
Maybe that was why I felt bold enough to position him against the railings, looking out at the water before engulfing him in my arms from behind.
He let out a breath, all of the tension leaving his body as he relaxed back against me, sharing my heat.
I pressed my lips to his temple, tasting his sweat on my lips and held him tighter.
“You scared me,” I told him.
“I'm sorry,” he said.
He reached up, gripping my arms.
“I don't know what I'm doing, to be honest. Yeah, the gay part is new andsurprising, but it's the easiest part.Youmake sense. The fact that I never realized that... it bothers me because....”
He trailed off, bowing his head, not even pretending to watch the sun slowly rise over the water in front of us.
“What is it?” I pressed.
He let out a little chuckle.
“I don't want to sound conceited.”
“Go for it,” I said, wondering if this was going to be about me.
“How long have you been into me?” he asked. “Because I know this isn't a big surprise for you, right?”
I froze.
“Ah. You noticed that, huh?” I asked, blushing.
He twisted enough to look at me, amusement in his bright eyes and I was struck by the fact that I was holding him. Kamran.MyKamran.It felt surreal and beautiful.
