His sea foam green eyes were fixed on me but were completely unreadable. I had no clue what he was thinking, and it made my body buzz with nerves.
To stop the shaking of my hands, I copied his stance, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning against his car, leaving a couple feet between us.
“Thought we should talk,” he said.
“Is that really necessary?” I forced, unable to meet his gaze. “I think you made everything pretty clear the other day.”
Then, because the sudden thought that maybe it wasn't too late, maybe we could fix everything between us wouldn't leave me alone, I kept talking.
“We can just forget about everything. That's probably for the best. Start fresh or whatever. I don't mind. Or if you need space, I get that too. I don't want you to think things have to be weird. Just?—”
“Ryan,” he said, interrupting my rambling.
He waited until I glanced up, forcing myself to meet his amused gaze.
“Just get in my car so we can talk in private.”
I swallowed, pushed off the side and walked around to the passenger seat, climbing inside, and waiting, heart racing while he got in and settled with a big sigh.
“Look,” he said. “I have a lot to apologize for.”
I shut my eyes.
“I really don't want to hear it. It's fine?—”
“No. It's not. I shouldn't have run off like that.”
He was sorry for running off? I bit my lip to stop myself from saying,Good. You should be.
My fingers picked at my jeans, searching for loose threads. Anything for a distraction. Part of me wanted to hide my head, but the rest of me was too curious about what else he had to say.
“I get it,” I managed, encouraging him to go on.
His hand suddenly landed on mine, stopping the unnecessary picking and making my gaze fly up to fix on his once more.
“Kamran...”
It was his turn to look nervous this time. He licked his full lips, his gaze flickering down to mine and my stomach knotted.
“I've been thinking about how I went toyou, over and over, whenever I needed to tell someone about what was happening.”
“Of course,” I whispered. “Because I'm your friend, Kamran. I'd do anything for you.”
My words, spoken too honestly, held far more meaning than I'd meant to share. I could tell by Kamran's expression that he got it too.
So much for taking things back to the start. Instead, I'd practically confessed my undying feelings. After years of keeping it all to myself, why was it all pouring out now?
“That's why I wanted to come see you and work this all out,” he said quietly, squeezing my hand. “Because I know how much you care and I want you to know that, well, it goes both ways.”
I knew he didn't mean that the way that it sounded. He couldn't. But God, hearing it was glorious.
“I know Kamran,” I said, squeezing his hand back. “You're a great friend. Always have been. Let's just start over, yeah?”
He stared at me for a moment and then chuckled softly.
“Ryan,” he said slowly, sending shivers over my skin. “I don't want to go back to how things were. I feel like I was sleeping for years, and your kiss finally woke me up.”
I stared.
