“Oh, that's rich,” she laughed. “You didn't even come home on Saturday night.”
“I didn't think you wanted me to!”
“Look, we'll talk tomorrow,” she snapped. “I'm staying late tonight. Just go to Ryan's place.”
With that, she hung up, not even letting my petty ass get the last word.
I considered ringing her back just to shoutFuck you, I know what you've been doing!but instead, I pushed to my feet, pacing the room furiously until I turned and punched the washroom door.
It swung open on its hinges, crashing into the wall behind it, probably leaving a dent.
Heart still pounding with fury, I went to the shower, stripped off and then climbed under the hot water. When it pelted down onto me, I didn't know if I wanted to scream or cry, or both.
All I knew was that I hoped Ryan would want me when I showed up at his door.
Please!Fucking hell, I couldn't take any more rejection.
I wanted him to want—no,needme. I needed him to. I needed to be irresistible and worth loving. Oh god. Was that what I wanted now? Was that what my desperate, broken-down soul craved? Ryan's love? Or just anyone's? Or was it Ryan specifically because he was my best friend, the only person I’d always trusted more than Melissa.
I tried to calm myself, but it was no use. I felt like I was a wet rag that had been rung through. When I climbed out of the shower and saw myself that was basically what I looked like too.
My eyes were red, heavy stubble covered my jaw and my hair was tangled and wet. I had a slouch that I didn't think I could shake and I could barely even meet my own gaze because I looked so fuckingbroken.
I forgot to call Ryan and tell him I was coming. Forgot to even dry my hair. I just got dressed on auto pilot feeling like I was in pieces and hoped that Ryan knew how to put me back together again.
EIGHT
Ryan
I pulled upto my house, slowing dramatically when I saw a car already parked in my driveway.
Kamran'scar.
My heart started racing, then someone behind me honked, reminding me that I'd randomly stopped in the middle of the road. I nearly jumped out of my skin.
“Shit,” I muttered and quickly pulled in next to Kamran’s car.
I could see him sitting on the top step of my porch in a thin sweater. He didn't look up, just sat there looking dejected and my whole body heated up because he washereand I had a weird feeling that I knew what he wanted even though I had to be wrong.
He'd been awkward as hell on Sunday morning. He hadn't wanted to stick around, and I hadn't blamed him either. I'd let him go and hadn't bothered him since.
Pulling myself up by the bootstraps, I opened the door and went outside to meet my potential doom.
Kamran didn't look up until I stopped at the bottom of the steps.
I couldn't speak for a minute because he looked so fuckinggood. Dear God. Hair that he hadn't styled today had dried in messy tight curls, hanging into his light green eyes. All his dark lashes were clear on his pale face. His stubble was dark and added to the overall look of what some might call disheveled but made me think about him in bed for days, too busy for things like making himself neat and presentable.
“Hey Ryan,” he muttered, not quite meeting my gaze. “Mind if I come in?”
Why did it sound so suggestive? He may as well have asked to crawl straight into my bed. That was how my body reacted anyway.
“Uh, yeah,” I choked.
I walked up the steps, passing him to unlock the door. He stood while I did, coming up behind me.
Too close, my mind screamed, and I hurried inside, trying to put some space between us.
The lines had already blurred too much for me. My body was confused. Sometimes my head was too. Like Sunday morning, when I woke up next to him, his hand still in mine, wondering why I hadn't spent all night sucking his dick before remembering that he was just sad, lonely, and desperate, and going there would ruin our eight-year friendship.
