“Night, Ryan,” he murmured.
Something about his voice made me pause.
I didn't want to leave him...
“I'm sorry about everything you're going through,” I whispered.
He looked up at me but didn't say anything. After a minute, he just nodded.
I forced myself to move, to shut off the lights and go upstairs, into the washroom to clean myself up, then to my bedroom.
The covers were still a mess from when I’d gotten out of bed this morning, and I climbed under them, wide awake.
I stared at the ceiling in the dark for so long that I wondered why I was even trying. Then, a movement from downstairs got my attention.
I could track the sounds of Kamran fumbling in the dark to the washroom. The water running while he presumably used the toothbrush I'd told him about. Then, everything went quiet for a long minute and in that time Iknewthere was no way he was going back to that couch.
My heart raced in my throat at the telltale sound of creaking on the stairs.
Then, Kamran’s footsteps crept down the hallway only to pause outside my door, like he couldn't decide if he should do it.
Icould barely breathe until finally, the door opened, and he stepped inside.
He didn't say anything, just went straight to the other side of my bed and got in.
My body dipped toward him but I didn't move to face him. I couldn't.
“I didn't want to be alone,” he whispered into the silence and the tension eased from my shoulders.
Finally, I rolled onto my back, turning my head so that I could see his form in the darkness. Before I could say anything, he spoke.
“Are yousureyou don't want to kiss me again?”
I groaned.
“Please. Just drop it, Kamran,” I begged. “You're in my bed. I can't just slide over and start kissing you without?—”
I cut short, realizing what I had almost said.Without wanting more.Had he caught where I was going with that?
“I'm just asking you for a favor,” he said, sounding pouty. “You did it once, so I didn't think you'd mind doing it again.”
I stared at his silhouette, trying to understand.
“You really want me to?” I asked slowly.
His shoulder lifted in a shrug.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “I want to do it again. I feel like I'm going crazy.”
Going crazy with desire for me? Or because I'd confused him? Because he was in the midst of his entire life falling apart and his best friend had added to it by unexpectedly making out with him when he was drunk?
I opened my mouth, desperate to get clarity, my heart leaping despite myself at the prospect and at the stupidlyselfishpossibility that Kamran was on the verge of being single and that he likedmykisses.
His hand touched my arm, and he scooted closer. My breath caught as he leaned toward me, and I felt his soft breath on my skin. Then, his lips gently touched mine.
And really, I'd been such a good boy. How the hell was I supposed to stay well behaved when the guy I loved crawled into my bed and started kissing me?
He tasted good, clean and warm, and his lips felt perfect against mine. I forced my shocked body to move, to kiss him back while it felt like the world was ending and reforming around me.
