That was all I’d expected from him, and it was enough, but he set down his bottle and pushed to his impressive height, still staring at me.
I wasn’t sure what he was going to do. For a minute he didn’t do anything. He just stood there by the couch looking helpless.
“…are you sure?” he finally asked.
I nodded as all the evidence and pain of the discovery rushed back to me.
I was a big guy myself. My parents were what I would call “traditional” by Canadian standards and I’d been taught to “be a man” from a young age. I wasn’t the type to get overly emotional. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d cried. I hadn’t eventeared up on my wedding day looking at Melissa’s beautiful face as she walked down the aisle.
She hadn’t been able to get through her vows without sobbing like a baby. It had made my chest ache, but I hadn’t shed one tear because starting our lives together had been a happy day.
Today, on the other hand…
Tears suddenly burned my eyes.
“Fuck,” Ryan muttered, looking panicked for a split second and the next thing I knew, he was marching across the room and surprising me by taking me into the biggest, tightest bear hug I had ever been given, while I completely fell apart.
I sniffled, willing the tears back to no avail, gasping, choking back sobs, and clinging to his jersey like it was a lifeline and—God, I had never been so embarrassed in my entire life. I was never going to be able to look him in the eyes again. But the damage was done, so I held onto him tighter and let my anguish win.
And who knew a man’s shoulders and arms could be so damn comforting? So warm and all-encompassing, that a man’s muscles could feel so… niceto lean against.
“Why do you smell so fucking good?” I asked, choking on laughter through the tears.
Finally, I pulled back, wiping at my eyes. Ryan didn’t as much as smile. I was surprised to see just how serious and worried he could look.
There was no mirth in his eyes and my question was ignored for what it was, a lame attempt at a distraction… although hedidsmell incredibly warm and soft and masculine all at once. I hoped it was cologne because otherwise, that was just not fair.
“You okay?” he asked quietly.
I nodded, but my cheeks were still wet and then I looked at his shirt and felt my entire face turn red hot.
“Sorry,” I muttered, stepping back to find something to dry him off with.
Frantically, I grabbed some of the napkins off the coffee table from under the empty pizza box. I knew it was pointless, but because Ryan was a motherfucking gentleman, he let me wipe uselessly at the two wet splotches on his shirt without saying anything.
Finally, he reached up, holding onto my wrist to stop me. He just held onto me, not pushing me away until I finally looked up and met the depths of his sympathetic russet brown eyes. Andthatnearly broke me down again.
I shivered, my heart pounding in my throat as I tried to hold it back. But I hadn’t managed to stop the tears the first time and my eyes just filled with them again like it was nothing and then my lip fuckingtrembled.
“Jesus,” Ryan whispered. “What happened, Kam? Tell me.”
He pulled my arm by the wrist still held in his hand, until it went behind his back, and just like that, I was in his arms again.
A breath left me as he wrapped his arms around me again, squeezing me.
It occurred to me that this affectionate reaction was probably due to all the beer, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t bring myself to pull away. If ever I needed a hug, it was right now.
“How did you find out?” he asked, his voice a soft rumble that went straight through my body, vibrating me.
“I saw her phone. She was in the shower when she got a message from her boss,Robert,” I choked. “It just popped up on the screen when I was next to it.”
“Fuck,” he groaned. “What did it say?”
I squeezed my eyes shut, remembering.
“It just said, ‘Okay. Whatever you need.’ I saw it and just got a weird feeling. Then I went into her phone, which Ineverdo. Never even thought to.”
Ryan nodded.
