“What's up?” she asked, reaching out to rest a hand on my arm. I must have looked upset because yesterday she’d completely brushed me off but today she was giving me a chance.
“Do you want me to stay home?” I asked.
She blinked and smiled.
“What? No. You know I don't mind you going out with your friends.”
“I know.”
And I knew there was more to it than that. She didn’twantme to stay home.
I sat for a moment, searching for words.
“What is it?” she asked gently. “Just say it… you know you can tell me anything.”
“I just feel like... we don't spend much time together lately,” I admitted. “We don't even have sex.”
She glanced away, picking at the duvet.
“That's no one's fault,” she finally said.
“But—”
“God, why do you keep trying to talk about this when you’re on the way out the door,” she interrupted, chuckling. “Your friends are probably waiting for you.Go. Have fun. Don't think about me.”
I swallowed, unable to ignore the fact that she was pretty much pushing me out the door.
For some reason, my response to that was to lean in and kiss her.
The moment I did it, I knew it was all wrong. Not that she pushed me away, but there was a complete lack of chemistry, a lack of desire to be kissed, and while I tried to linger, to remind her of what we'd once had, her lips were stiff and offered only a quick peck.
Nothing like thelast kissI'd had.
I pushed the loud memory of Ryan’s lips away and drew back awkwardly, feeling embarrassed and completely unwanted.
“Right,” I muttered, standing. “I guess I'll go.”
“Ryan will be there, right?” she asked, sounding worried.
I nodded and she looked relieved.
“Good. You always have a good time when he's around,” she said, smiling softly. “You seem like you need him.”
“What about you?” I found myself asking, tempted to start the fight I'd been trying to avoid. “What are you planning to do tonight?”
“Just going to read for a bit,” she said. “Then sleep.”
I forced a tight smile.
“Alright. Goodnight.”
“Kamran?” she asked, stopping me as I reached the door.
I turned, hope rushing me that maybe she'd changed her mind and wanted me to stay.
“When are you going to be home?”
I swallowed down the burning feeling that rose up my throat.
