“I’m sure Matt has a good explanation,” Kennedy said before hurrying off to class.
He probably did. He always did. But I was done hearing them. I slammed my locker shut. Part of me wanted to walk back out the front doors. But unlike Isabella, I could get more detention. I walked into my first period class, my backpack feeling impossibly heavy with Matt’s jacket in it.
***
I’d hung out in the nurse’s office for the past two hours, pretending to have cramps. Apparently girls hung out in her office all the time for this reason. Kennedy had given me the tip when we’d failed to come up with any possible excuse for Matt during English class. I couldn’t focus today anyway, so lying in bed in the nurse’s office seemed like the only viable option. Besides, something was definitely wrong with my body. I waspretty sure I was having a heart attack. Although the nurse had quickly ruled that out as she handed me a Midol and a glass of water.
My period wasn’t until next week. But I took the Midol anyway, hoping it would somehow help the pain in my chest. Wasn’t that what people did at this school anyway? Took things they didn’t need? Like James taking whatever drugs he was on. And Matt taking my heart. The medicine didn’t help with that.
I wanted to hide out in here for the rest of the day. But when it was time for my entrepreneurial studies class, I knew it would be better to get it over with. Besides, I was used to Matt ignoring me in school. He’d been doing it all year. The perfect actor playing his role flawlessly. I just wasn’t sure how I’d been the one who ended up getting played.
The nurse smiled at me as I left her office. Like she was proud of me for braving the world with cramps. I wished that was my only problem.
I sat down in class and pulled out my notebook. The worst part about all this was that we still had our stupid project. I’d still have to work with him.
“Brooklyn,” Matt said as he sat down in front of me in class.
I didn’t look up.
“James didn’t know about your mom. He feels awful about what happened.”
“Good. He should.” I kept my eyes on my notebook.
“He swore that he’s going to apologize to you. I made sure of that.”
“Great. And what about you?” I finally looked up. “Are you going to apologize to me about this morning?”
“That’s what I’m trying to explain.”
“Okay.” I folded my arms across my chest. “Well, you’re doing a great job.” I said it sarcastically, but for some reason he smiled. It was true, I may have loved his smile yesterday. But today I hated it. He looked stupid. No one’s teeth should be so straight and white. He looked like a photoshopped magazine cover. Fake.
Students around us started talking louder. They were probably making fun of me. But I drowned them out, waiting for the asshole in front of me to explain to me why on earth I should trust him yet again.
“James was a mess on Saturday when I went to talk to him,” Matt said. “He confessed about the blackmailing. And he really does feel bad.”
“So James told you the truth…which means we can’t be together? Cool. Class is about to start, you should probably turn around.”
“Brooklyn, I’m trying to explain…”
“Oh, no. I get it. You were willing to throw your friendship with James away when you thought he hurt me on purpose. But now he’s sorry. So I’m just collateral damage.”
“That’s not…”
“It doesn’t matter if James is sorry now. He still did it. He had information on me that he thought would humiliate me. But the joke was on him because it didn’t.” I leaned forward. “I don’t care about what James did. I care about why you lied to me. Did you even talk to Isabella?”
“Yes. But I didn’t want to leave James out to dry after I saw him. I couldn’t do it. But I’ll find a way. Before homecoming. I promise.”
I shook my head. I was tired of believing in him.
“Brooklyn…” Matt reached out and grabbed my hand. In front of the whole class. “You’re asking me to hurt one of my best friends. I can’t do it. Please, I just need more time to figure out another way. I want to be with you. Just not like this.”
“Hey, Sanders,” Rob said. “Geez, what the hell is going on out there?”
I finally looked toward the other students. They were standing by the window, staring out at the city street. All I could see were red and blue lights flashing. I quickly turned away. Matt’s hand was still on top of mine. I was vaguely aware of the fact that he’d only touched me because no one was paying attention to us.
“Brooklyn? Are you okay?” Matt asked.
I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It could have been a police car or a fire truck. But all I could think about when I saw those lights was an ambulance. Like the one I had to call when I found my momunconscious on the kitchen floor. The one I’d rode in with her to the hospital during her last stay there.
