“Brooklyn…”
“Now,” I said again and gestured to the fire escape.I should have locked my freaking window.But I never thought he’d show up again after today. After he had sat there silently, watching Isabella mock me in front of the whole school. He’d told her about us. He’d lied and said we slept together. He’d been making fun of me behind my back with his friends this whole time.
“I thought you might be upset with me,” he said.
“You thought I might be upset with you?” I said it slowly, like I was trying to comprehend his ridiculous words. “I’m more than upset with you, Matt. You just sat there and let Isabella tear me and my uncle apart. You did nothing. Do you have any idea how that made me feel?” I didn’t wait for a response. “I’m done with you. Get the hell out of my room.”
“I’m sorry about what happened today. I told you I can’t talk to you in front of Isabella. Today was awful, but…”
“There are no buts. I don’t want you to be here. I don’t want to talk. I don’t even want to look at you. Just go.”
He didn’t move. Not an inch.
“Did you or did you not tell all your friends that we had sex?”
“What?” His eyebrows lowered. “No.”
I shook my head. I didn’t believe him. How could I? “Whatever game you’re playing with me is over. I don’t ever want to see you again. Now get the hell out of my room.”
“Brooklyn, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He finally moved, stepping toward me.
“James told me. Are you really going to stand there and deny that you told all your friends we were sleeping together? Including Isabella?”
“What? Yes, I’m going to deny it. Because it’s not fucking true. And James never would have said that.”
I folded my arms across my chest, trying to cover myself more. “So now you’re calling me a liar? You trust your addict friend over me? I broke up with Felix…foryou. I got Felix to stop selling to James…foryou. I’ve been sneaking around behind everyone’s backs…foryou.
“James isn’t an addict. He’s just going through a hard time.” He ran his fingers through his golden hair, momentarily distracting me.
I turned away from him and picked up the pajama top I’d been looking for earlier. “Now you’re just lying to yourself. My uncle thinks I’m changing. We’re about to watch a movie. If I take any longer he’ll wonder what I’m doing. You have to go.”
“I’m not going anywhere until we talk about this. I’m sorry about lunch. I’m sorry if you heard some rumor that claimed I was telling people we had sex. I’m sorry I didn’t step in to help. I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t know what else I can say.”
He was sorry? I hated when people said that to me after my mom died. Because it didn’t make any sense. And in this case? It didn’t make any sense either. Because there should have been a stronger word than sorry. I’d never accept his lame apology. He could shove his I’m sorry up his ass. “You’re not sorry. You’re defending James when the only reason Isabella knew anything about my personal life was because of him. He was blackmailing me, Matt. Your perfect friend isn’t so perfect.”
“I never said he was perfect. But blackmailing? Really? He’s not Isabella.”
God, I wanted to strangle him. “I saw Felix sell him something other than pot at that party last weekend. James said if I told anyone, he’d let everyone know my secret. And to think I actually tried to stop what happened at lunch today. Because I thought maybe, just maybe, the secret he knew was that you and I were together. And that if he said it in front of Isabella…whatever she had on you would come out too. I tried to fix it. I begged Felix to sell to him again. I’m glad Felix didn’t get to him in time though. Because now I know exactly what kind of person you are.”
“And what kind of person am I, Brooklyn?” His chest rose and fell as he said it, like he was barely holding on to all his pent up anger. But I didn’t care how he felt.
“The kind of person I want nothing to do with.”
He closed the distance between us. “We both know that isn’t true.”
“Go to hell.” I shoved his chest. But as soon as my hand hit the fabric of his shirt, I found myself grabbing hold of it with my fist.
“Make me.”
His lips crashed against mine. Or maybe mine crashed against his. I had no idea. All I knew was that I was furious at him. And somehow this made it better. Or worse. I was pretty sure I had lost my mind.
He groaned into my mouth. That sound that I found so addicting. That sound that made me want to forget all reason.
But I didn’t forget this time. I pulled back. “Stop.” I took a step back from him, trying to get his stupid cinnamon scent to stop swirling around my head. I quickly pulled on the same shirt I’d worn to work. I was pretty sure my face was bright red.
“I really am sorry, Brooklyn. If you say James blackmailed you, I believe you. I’ll talk to him. I’ll get him to leave you alone. You should have just told me.”
And you should have stepped in today during lunch.I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Imagine on a scale of one to ten how today made me feel. Now multiply that by ten because every day that I wake up it’s hard to breathe. I’m barely holding on. I didn’t just lose my mom, I lost my best friend. I lost my home. I lost everything.” I wiped the tears from my eyes, angry at myself that they were even there. I wanted to open my eyes to look at him, but I couldn’t. I was worried that if I looked into his eyesI wouldn’t have the courage to keep going. “I’m finally putting myself back together. Mostly because of my uncle’s generosity.” I tried to even my voice. “Maybe if Isabella had just been making fun of me, I could forgive you for doing nothing. But she made fun of my uncle. You could have defended him. He has nothing to do with whatever Isabella has on you. You let her make fun of a bystander. I didn’t sign up for that. And I will never forgive you.”
