Untouchable - Chapter 23
Wednesday
I opened my locker to grab my gym clothes before class. But instead of a neat pile of clothes staring back at me, there was an insulated lunch box. I looked over my shoulder. Part of me expected to see Matt, but as promised, he’d been ignoring me all day. Isabella had been attached to his hip as he walked past my locker this morning. He’d kept his eyes trained ahead, laughing at something Isabella whispered in his ear. The more I saw them together, the less I believed him. He liked to whisper me promises in dark places. But in the light of day? I was invisible.
The lunch box was placed exactly where one of Matt’s notes had been last week. The note showing up in my locker could be explained away. But a lunch box could not fit through the slats. There was no doubt about it now. Matt somehow had access to my locker. And my phone number. What else did he have access to? I unzipped the lid on the lunchbox and looked down at a note on top of a salad.
Thought you might like this better. See you tonight.
Tonight?The note wasn’t addressed to me. And it wasn’t signed by Matt. It was definitely from him though. But what on earth was he talking about? We didn’t have plans tonight. I’d be spending the rest of my nights this week in my room. Grounded.And honestly, I was a little relieved. All this drama with Matt and Felix and the rest of the Untouchables was too much.
Last night I’d sat outside on the fire escape thinking about all the ways Matt and Felix were different. But there were a lot of similarities too. And honestly, a lot of those were bad. I knew if I made a pro/con list for either of them, they’d both have more cons. I wasn’t sure there was a right choice between the two. All I should be focused on right now was putting one foot in front of the other. Establishing a new life here in New York. Matt and Felix only complicated things. And my life was complicated enough without them.
I pushed Matt’s note to the side and looked down at a prepared Caesar salad with extra parmesan shavings on top. We’d ordered pizza last night at the Hunters’ mansion. Or estate. Or whatever rich people called their too big homes. I’d barely touched the pizza though because I was too nervous with Matt watching me.
So he’d bought me a salad for lunch today. Which could have just been a weird thing he did with everyone he dated. Or it could have been the fact that he was worried I didn’t eat enough last night. Paired with the fact that I ordered a Caesar salad with extra parmesan shavings almost every day at lunch. He’d noticed. He’d definitely noticed even though he sat across the cafeteria. He noticed me. I zipped the lunchbox shut. It was sweet that he’d been paying attention. Sweeter that he bought me a salad for lunch. I wasn’t sure why, but thinking about how sweet it was made my eyes watery. It had been a long time since someone had taken care of me. A really long time.
I grabbed my clothes, tucked them under my arm, and hurried to gym. I wasn’t going to break down crying in the halls of EmpireHigh. That would be asking for trouble. Isabella would probably slip on a puddle of my tears and sue me. She’d do the whole thing right in front of Matt, and he wouldn’t say a word.
I delayed going to the gym for as long as possible. Just like Matt had been avoiding me today, I’d been avoiding Felix. I didn’t know what to say to him. Matt had made it clear that he wanted me to end things with Felix. But I hadn’t exactly agreed. I did like Matt. I really did. But I liked Felix too. So what if Felix didn’t know what kind of salad I liked to eat? Although, Felix literally sat next to me at lunch. If anyone should know what I ate, it would be him.
None of it mattered. I knew what I had to do.
After roll call, Felix caught up with me on my way to the track.
He threw his arm around my shoulders. “How was your third night of being grounded?”
I pressed my lips together. I knew what I needed to say to him. But I had all class to break the news. I looked up at him. “Actually, I was allowed out of the house for a group project.”
“Oh, that’s brilliant. What kind of group project can we make up together?”
I laughed. “I doubt my uncle would believe I had a gym project. Especially with you.”
“I can be very persuasive.”
Like when you persuaded him you and I wouldn’t drink at that party and then pressured me to? Or when you persuaded him that you’d have me home by 1 am?Maybe Felix was good at persuading people to do things, but he wasn’t good at keeping his word. He was a liar. Just like Matt.
I tried to shake away the thought, but it was locked in place. I wasn’t sure how I had gotten so tangled up with both of them. Going back to being invisible was going to be a blessing. All I needed was Kennedy and my uncle. I ignored the voice in the back of my mind saying I needed my mom too. She would have been able to help me sort through all of this. We hadn’t had enough time. I needed more motherly advice. I needed her.
“I was thinking I could steal another first today,” Felix said as he pulled me in the opposite direction of the track.
The tears that had been threatening to escape all day finally slid down my cheeks. He was being sweet, just like Matt. And all I felt was…lost.
We stopped under the bleachers. “How about the first time anyone’s kissed you under the…” his voice trailed off. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
There was a lot wrong. But instead of one of the million excuses I had rolling around in my head, I settled on the truth. Because honestly, it all came back to this. My uncle was right. I needed someone to talk to. “I miss my mom. I miss her so much.”
“Oh.” His arm fell from my shoulders.
I swallowed down the lump in my throat.Oh?I was trying to have a conversation with him. “Oh” didn’t cut it. I needed him. Didn’t he see that? I needed someone to help me. “Sometimes it feels like it’s hard to breathe knowing that she isn’t.”
“I’m sorry, Brooklyn.” He shoved his hands into his sweatpants pockets.
And I never saw anything so clearly in my life. I took a step back from him. He didn’t want to hear me. He just wanted to make out under the bleachers with the new girl. It was just some game to him. But the joke was on him, because if I was a game, I was missing tons of pieces and had been left out in the rain for months. Abandoned. Forgotten. Broken. “I can’t do this.” I turned around.
“Do what?”
I started walking away, but he grabbed my wrist.
