“I’ve already been here, remember? Never mind, of course you don’t. But you two go ahead. I’m just going to take some pictures.” She lifted up her camera.
“Not for blackmailing purposes, I hope,” Felix said with a laugh.
“Yeah, I’m not an ass. Unlike some of us.” She disappeared into the crowd before I could stop her.
I had promised I’d be glued to her side all night. But she’d taken the first chance she could to unglue herself. “I’m so sorry,” I said. “She promised she’d be on her best behavior.”
“I don’t think it’s in Kennedy’s nature to be nice. Here, let me refill that for you.” He grabbed my cup.
That wasn’t true. Kennedy was always nice to me. I thought about last weekend when I’d asked her if her mom had made her hang out with me. She had been forced to be kind to me. But we had quickly become friends. And Kennedy was one of the sweetest people I knew. Felix was a close second. So it was strange that they weren’t friends. I needed to ask Kennedy more about what happened between them freshman year. She said she thought Felix had liked her, but that she’d only liked him for about five minutes. How many hard feelings could there still be?
Felix handed me my cup. It was filled to the brim with the delicious punch.
“Thank you.” I took another huge sip. “So about that tour…”
He smiled and grabbed my free hand. I was pretty sure the last time a boy had held my hand was in fifth grade. And he’d been dared to do it at recess.
Felix wound me through all the people, showing me the living room, dining room, and every other room you could possiblyimagine. Including a movie theater and something he called a jungle room, which from what I could tell was just a room filled with plants. But I wouldn’t put it past him if there were some monkeys or something hiding in there. And all of that was just on the first floor, which was crazy because I didn't realize apartments could be two stories.
“You really do look beautiful tonight, newb.”
I pushed my bangs off my forehead and laughed. “I’m wearing sneakers with a skirt. I look ridiculous. I was actually standing outside earlier thinking I looked like a deflated troll.” What the hell? Why had I just said that out loud? It was like I had completely lost my filter ever since I stepped into Felix’s apartment.
His lips dropped to my ear so I could hear him better. “A troll? Not in a million years. You look sexy as hell.”
I was pretty sure my throat made a weird squeaking noise, but I couldn’t be sure when the music was so loud. Fortunately that meant he hadn’t heard it either. No one had ever called me sexy before. Not even the boy in fifth grade that had held my hand for five whole minutes.
Felix had kept his head dipped down, so when I turned to look at him, his lips were only a fraction of an inch away from mine. I’d never been kissed. But I’d also never wanted it more than in that moment. The music seemed to fade away. I stared into Felix’s blue eyes. They reminded me of the ocean. God, I could get lost in them.
He stayed completely still, like he knew this moment was precious too. For some reason my mind started racing. If he closed the gap between us, I was almost positive it wouldn’t be his first kiss. He was…Felix. He lived in an apartment mansion that looked like a modernist museum. He was popular at school. And his eyes were definitely easy to get lost in, because I was already swimming in them.
It felt like my brain short-circuited as he moved a fraction of an inch closer. I wanted to follow his lead. But if it was my first kiss and his hundredth kiss? It would be inadequate. I’d be inadequate. Because despite what he said, I wasn’t beautiful. I was an invisible girl in a world that I’d never belong in.
“So what’s on the second story?” I asked. As soon as I said it, I realized that it sounded really forward. “An arcade?” I said, because it was the first thing I could think of when my mind was focused on the fact that his bedroom was probably up there.
“No, that's down a level,” he said.
Three floors? “Seriously? I was kidding.”
He smiled. “It’s just a few games, not a whole arcade.”
“Cool. Oh rats, I’m all out of punch,” I said and stared into my empty cup. “Could you bring me some more?”
“Are you sure? You’ve already had two glasses.”
“Of course I’m sure. It’s punch. I love punch. Did you make this?” I asked and lifted my cup. “It’s yummy. Like your eyes.”What?“Not that I want to eat your eyes. I just meant that youreyes are this really pretty blue and I want to swim in them. God, I’m thirsty. Are you thirsty? It’s hot in here.”
He laughed. “Okay I’ll get you that drink,” he said and lifted my empty cup from my hand. “But then you owe me a dance.”
“Deal.” I had no idea how to dance. But I did feel like dancing. Just thinking about dancing had me moving my shoulders to the beat. The rest of my body seemed to follow.
“Stay right there, okay? I’ll be right back.”
“You got it, sir.” Where the hell else would I go? I saluted him.Oh God, why did I just salute him?
He laughed and disappeared into the crowd.
I stood there by myself, swaying to the music. A yawn escaped my lips and my eyelids closed. I was so tired from work that my mind felt all fuzzy. The sleepier I felt, the more I wanted to dance. Or sleep. It was a hard choice. But my throat was so dry that all I really wanted was to have more punch. I leaned against the wall behind me.
