“You weren’t, were you? A crack addict?”
“Sh! He’ll hear you.”
I glanced over at Felix. He was across the cafeteria now. “You can tell me. You know that, Kennedy. What did he do to you?”
“Stop talking,” she mouthed silently at me this time.
“Sometimes one taste is all it takes,” Matthew said and sat down next to me. “Your friend is just looking out for you.”
It felt like all the air left my lungs. Oh my God, that’s why she was shaking her head. I silently cursed myself for not realizing she was trying to tell me Matthew was behind me. And I had no idea what I had just been saying. Hopefully it wasn’t something embarrassing. But I was pretty sure I had been talking about crack. “Hi, Matthew,” I said. My voice came out all weird and high.
He smiled. “You can call me Matt.”
“Matt.” I was pretty sure I was melting under his gaze. I’d been waiting to talk to him all day, and that was all I could muster to say? I’d watched him a lot at lunch, but I never realized how comically big he was for the little seats attached to the table. He barely fit, which made so many parts of him a fraction of an inch away from touching me. Or was he just leaning in closer to me? My heart started beating fast. We’d been this close once before, but not in public. Not when we were surrounded by other students that I was pretty sure he knew didn’t want me around.
“I’d recommend staying away from Felix too,” he said. "You don’t want to get mixed up in that.”
I nodded. “Nunca.”
He laughed. “Never. That’s good to know.”
I hadn’t even realized I’d said it out loud. Kennedy laughed too.
Matt looked over at her. “Mr. Lewis is kind of an ass huh?” he said.
Her face flushed. “Definitely. You were only a few minutes late. It wasn’t a big deal.”
He smiled at her and then looked back down at me. Or rather…my hand. “How’s the cut?” He’d lowered his voice, but I knew Kennedy could hear. Still, it felt intimate, even though we were in the crowded cafeteria.
“Better. Thanks to you.”
He reached out and ran his index finger along my Band-Aid. As if only seeing it for himself would reassure him.
Yup, I was definitely melting.I’d thought about this moment a lot. But it was never like this. He’d invited me into his world in my dreams. There was something nice about the fact that he’d come over and sat in mine. We both knew I didn’t belong in his.
And he didn’t seem as untouchable over here. Or maybe it was because he was touching me.
“And your shoe?” he asked.
“All better too.”
“Close call.”
If only he knew.
He leaned a little closer to me, his thigh brushing against mine. I thought his hands were warm. The rest of him was scorching. It felt like I could barely breathe.
“About what you overheard this morning…” he said.
I shook my head. “I really didn’t hear anything. I was on my way to class. I just saw you guys and it looked like you were fighting. It’s none of my business anyway.”
He licked his bottom lip as he listened to me. If that was the way he concentrated, I wanted to be his new study partner. Maybe he’d let me lick his lips for him. His smile grew, like he knew I was staring.
I forced my eyes back up to his. For a moment everything disappeared. It was just us alone in that bathroom again. My heart started beating even faster as he stared at me intently.
“Just don’t tell anyone, okay?” he said. “We’re taking care of it.”
I nodded even though I didn’t know what exactly I was agreeing to. But I trusted him. It was hard not to believe everything that fell out of such a perfect mouth.
