“Nothing’s wrong with staring at perfection. But getting caught up in it? Wanting it? Guys like that will never end up with girls like us, Brooklyn. That’s not how things work.”
“James is dating Rachel. You said she goes to a public school.”
“Yeah…he’s dating hernow. But everyone in that room out there knows that he’s going to marry Isabella.”
I hadn’t known that. And I didn’t believe it for a second. But then I pictured James’ sad smile. Life didn’t always turn out the way you wanted it to. I knew that better than anyone.
“Don’t tell me you were hoping James would marry you?” Kennedy said with a laugh.
“No.” I could never be with someone who was as sad as me. It’s not like I could save him when I needed saving myself. We’d just end up drowning together.
“Oh God. You want to marry one of the other ones, don’t you?”
“I never said that.” I pushed off the wall. Marriage? Now that was ridiculous. My life wasn’t a fairytale. I didn’t grow up dreaming of my wedding. I grew up thinking I had to fend for myself. That men like my father lurked around every corner. I couldn’t even say that Matthew was nothing like my father, because I’d never met either of them.
I started filling up my tray with more tarts. Kennedy followed me back out in the ballroom, keeping close to me as we flitted through the guests.
“Is it Mason then?” she asked. “I wouldn’t mind waking up to that perfect specimen every day either.”
I laughed. “I’m not dreaming about marrying any of them, trust me.” But I glanced over at Mason. The Caldwells’ distinguishing feature was their broad shoulders, which made them the perfect Empire High football stars that they were. High school royalty with championship game wins under their thousand dollar belts. Not that they needed the wins to be the Untouchables. Mason,the older brother, had the female student body practically begging for one night with him. Even though I hadn’t been at school long, I could see that before Kennedy had told me. He was promiscuous. Devastatingly handsome. And horribly sad. After seeing James’ smile, it was like the façade around the Untouchables had cracked. They were more like me than I thought possible. And I could see the sadness in Mason’s eyes just like I’d seen it in James’. Did people see my sadness when they looked at me too?
Old wealth probably carried responsibilities I could never imagine. Is that why the two eldest brothers looked tired? Because they carried the weight of the world on their shoulders? That was something I could relate to. But mine wasn’t the same burden. The weight I carried had nothing to do with familial obligations. For years mine had been time. Two weeks ago, I’d run out of it. And now? My burden felt like it was living. Living without the only person that would ever love me.
Kennedy did a very fancy turn considering the fact that she was balancing a tray, and found her way next to me again. “Is it Robert? If he put a ring on your finger, he’d make it his mission for you to laugh every day. It’s him, right? More laughter is exactly what you need. And he’s so dreamy.”
“I laugh enough.” I didn’t. I glanced at Robert out of the corner of my eye. The Hunters’ distinguishing feature was their dark eyes. Robert, the younger brother, was a total goofball. He was always smiling and cracking jokes, never aimed at me…which I was eternally grateful for. His dark eyes shimmered with life. But now that I was finding chinks in all their armor, I had a feeling that Robert was hiding behind his sense of humor. I could understand that. I was hiding in plain sight.
Robert and more laughter definitely wasn’t what I needed. No, what I needed was for my mom not to be six feet under and for my new bestie to drop this subject.
But I couldn’t help it that my eyes gravitated to Matthew Caldwell.Matt.His smile did reach his eyes. It was genuine and warm, even if it was never directed at me. And he walked in a way that made me think he didn’t carry a single burden. He was more reserved than Rob. More mysterious. I couldn’t read him at all. But he just seemed so…carefree.
“Bingo.”
I looked over at Kennedy. Her tray was empty and her hand was on her hip. “You’re in love with Matthew.”
I opened my mouth to protest.
“Don’t even with me, Brooklyn. Besides, I already knew it. You drool whenever you see him in school.”
“I don’t drool.”
“Got you.” She pointed her index finger at me. “You basically just admitted it.”
I laughed. “I didn’t admit anything.”
The lights started to dim and the guests made their way to their tables.
Kennedy grabbed my arm and pulled me back to the kitchen. “We have to help with dinner, but don’t think for a second that we’re dropping this. I need all the deets.”
To me it was officially dropped. I tried to focus on what color name card went with what entrée. Table three was my responsibility. Lucky number three. All I had to do was get through serving dinner and dessert and I could go home.
I looked at the image of the tables on the seating chart and made my way out of the kitchen.Lucky number three my ass.James and Robert were at the table I was supposed to be serving. Along with Isabella and a few adult couples, probably their parents. I kept my head down as I pushed the cart over to their table.
A blue name card meant fish. Red - steak. Green - vegetarian. I placed a vegetarian entrée down in front of Isabella.
“Oh, darling.” She laughed. “Well isn’t this tragic.”
I forced myself to look at her. She looked blissfully happy despite her comment. She glanced down at my shoes and I could feel my face turning red.
