Page 78 of Never his Duchess


Font Size:

“You can’t believe that,” she said, stunned.

“I do. That’s why I haven’t lifted a finger for your climbing boys—because I don’t know how. I have no influence, no legacy?—”

“That isn’t true,” she cut in. “Nathaniel, you told me you had influence. You’re one of the richest men in the country now. Power comes with that title. That’s why I’ve been doing this work. Because I believed in it—and in you. You already have a friend who is a lord. You could do something. But you haven’t even tried. You’re not the same man you were. What changed?”

She paused. But they both knew the answer.

“Halston,” she said quietly.

“Yes,” Nathaniel said, voice low. “He reminded me of who I used to be. When I was a boy, I was proud. I had plans—big, foolish plans. I wanted to ensure that no widow feared for her survival. That no child went hungry during a poor harvest. I made speeches in school about it. I truly believed I’d change something.”

“And then?”

“Then I stopped being heir. I became no one—just a dead nobleman’s son with no claim. My stepfather wasn’t even aristocracy. I was a fraud. And now, somehow, I’ve become a fraud with a title. And Halston reminded me just how foolish I was to believe I could be anything more.”

“And me?” she asked. “What did I do?”

“Nothing,” he said. “It wasn’t you—it was the circumstances. First, I couldn’t throw you out, like any other man in my position would have. Then I tried to find you a husband—and failed. Then I tried to convince myself not to care, not to feel… because I—” He waved a hand.

“Because you wanted me?” she asked, stepping closer.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter,” she insisted. “Why do you let men like Halston define you? You’re wealthy. You’re powerful. You could do anything—be anything.”

“I let you down,” he said quietly. “I made you a promise, and I broke it. I ruined your future. Your chance to be with someone who truly admires you.”

“I thought there was someone who truly admired me,” she whispered. “But then he changed.”

“Evelyn—”

“I’ll ask again. Was I wrong? Was there really never anything between us?”

“Of course there was,” he said, voice raw. “But I didn’t know if you cared for me, or if you just wanted a way out. A title. Security.”

“I cared for you,” she said. “I still do. Not this version of you—the one Halston’s brought out—but the man you were before. The man who made me believe I could belong somewhere.”

He smiled faintly. “I don’t much like this version of me either.”

She arched an eyebrow. “And what of the ladies at the club?”

He let out a breath, exasperated. “There are ladies at the club. But I don’t trifle with them. Not anymore. I used to. I haven’t in some time.”

Her eyes widened. “The other day, you came home looking disheveled?—”

He waved a hand. “A foolish brawl with another gentleman. Nothing more.”

“Then why did you let me think otherwise?” she asked, clicking her tongue. “You are?—”

“Impossible,” he finished, shaking his head. But she was smiling now, and so was he. She took a step toward him.

“So… there was no other woman?”

“No. Only the one right in front of me.”

“I thought so,” she said, softer now. “But I wasn’t sure. Not after what you said about Halston. That he only wanted me because he couldn’t have me.”

“I didn’t mean that,” he said. “I was a fool. A complete fool.”