She had known he would be awake. He spent as little time as possible in his father’s old bed chamber, and what George had revealed that evening had guaranteed a sleepless night for them both.
She rapped gently on the door.
Philip gasped softly and glanced over his shoulder. He relaxed as he squinted in the dark and saw that it was Anna. A candle flickered beside him in its holder, illuminating his face and tugging at her anxious heart.
“Sleep wouldn’t find me either,” Anna admitted, stepping into the room and closing the door behind her. “I thought you would be in your study. When I didn’t find you there, I roamed the halls for a while. What is this room for?”
“Only God knows,” Philip replied after a moment, turning back to the view of the rain falling in sheets over Cotoneaster. “Mother must have had some use for it before her death, but as you can see, all the furniture has been covered. Too great a task for Elinor to do before her party.”
Anna nodded as she looked around, weaving through the mounds of furniture covered with sheets. A larger object stood in the middle of the room, hidden beneath a sheet of fabric that was different from the others. Philip leaned on something sturdy in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, and she joined him there without protest on his part, her nightgown ghosting across the floor.
“Do you wish to be left alone?” she asked.
“I haven’t enough fight in me to send you away tonight. After what was revealed, I am surprised it is not you who is hiding from me.” He looked over at her, and in the proceeding flash of lightning, she could swear she saw tenderness and fear in his eyes. “If you are willing to accept it, I would like to extend you an apology.”
“But only if I am willing to accept it?”
“It seems pointless to offer an apology otherwise.” He looked down at his feet. He was still dressed in his clothes from the party, except his jacket and vest. She traced the shape of his shoulder through his shirt. “All of this is my fault.”
“You have done nothing to make Alicia act the way she has.”
“Yes, but if I had been in better possession of myself, I would never have kissed you and forced you to marry me. You would have been free to lead an altogether different, more peaceful life. And Alicia would have left you alone.”
He gripped the object behind him, his hands flexing against the fabric. It warmed her to be close to him, despite everything, on that cold and stormy night. Elinor’s advice rang in her ears. She had delayed telling him the truth once—not again.
“I don’t regret what happened for a second,” she whispered, too scared to look at him. “Not one bit. Our chance meeting, the kiss, the marriage… Even if I could go back and change things, I would not. Even if I had a hundred lives to live, I would find my way back to you every time.”
Philip was silent for a moment, his brow furrowed in thought. His lips parted softly, breaking her heart.
“Am I the one who should apologize now?” she asked, trying not to cry.
“No.” His voice was soft, almost broken. “But that you would say this now… If we cannot stop Alicia?—”
“We will. I’m not a soldier like you, but I understand a few things about war. They say it is easiest to conquer an enemy you know intimately. And while you may not know the first thing about her, I do. More than she thinks.”
“You have something in mind?”
Anna thought back to the weeks prior, a small thing Sophia had said when she was feeding them their usual gossip.
“Yes. It’s like you and George were saying… the ton won’t care what the truth is when Alicia spreads her lies. Our only chance is to stop her before that happens. We must find the real father and force him to come forward… and I think I know where to start.” She turned to Philip. “Some time ago, a friend of mine mentioned seeing Alicia with a gentleman arguing in public. There’s no guarantee he and Alicia’s paramour are one and the same, but it’s worth trying to track him down.”
Philip frowned. “You think that’s possible?”
“I don’t see why not. I am better connected than you think.”
It was partly a lie. She knew Lady Jane, and that connected her by proxy to just about every person who mattered in society.
“And if this man is not the father?” Philip asked. “Or if he is but refuses to take accountability for his actions?”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. And if it crumbles beneath us, then we will exile ourselves to France on that mission of yours.”
There it was again, the implication that she loved him and would follow him anywhere. If that made her sound pathetic, so be it. She couldn’t have been the only wife in the world who wanted her husband to remain at her side, especially when danger lurked around every corner.
Most marriages would have folded under the weight of an accusation like Alicia’s, but they were stronger together.
She hoped that this time he wouldn’t ignore her. If he didn’t feel the same and told her, maybe she could move on.
Philip bumped into her as he moved, coming to stand in front of her. Lightning sliced silently through the sky outdoors, and the rumble of thunder followed as he eclipsed the light before her.
