She huffed, reaching behind her. It felt like a trap—probably was a trap—but defenseless Philip saw no other option than to step right into it. He pulled Anna to a stop, signaling her to turn around with a flick of his hand.
Anna accepted awkwardly, turning in a half-circle. Philip’s breath came in ragged bursts at the sight of her exposed neck, soft strands of chestnut-brown hair curling against her pale skin. He slipped his fingers between the layers of fabric of her bodice, unsurprised when she tensed beneath his touch, the downy hairs on her neck standing on end.
He wasn’t oblivious to the strain between them even now. They were finally being cordial with one another, making the darker parts of him grow restless.
Which is why our efforts are ultimately pointless,he sighed inwardly, his thumb lingering on a final pearlescent button.I doubt I could ever stop wanting to please her, to hold her. It is a temporary fix in the hull of a sinking ship.
“Philip?” Anna prompted.
He had paused long enough to worry her.
“My apologies,” he said. “I was lost in my thoughts.”
The drawing room was packed even more tightly with guests, laughter and chatter bouncing from wall to wall. In his absence, Elinor had started serving the claret—which meant the last guests had arrived. He took Anna by the hand and swerved through the footmen, snatching a glass for them each.
Twenty minutes later, Philip was discussing the sale of the farms at the southern border of Cotoneaster when he felt someone approach. George stood behind him, peering at him beneath his low ginger eyebrows. Philip brightened at the sight of him, but George didn’t look nearly as happy to see him.
Excusing himself from his conversation, he took his old friend aside. If Anna could make amends with her sister, he had to try and fix things with George, who was all but a brother to him.
“You came,” Philip said, once they had relative privacy by the fireplace. “I would not have begrudged you for ignoring our invitation.”
“This is as much Anna’s party as it is yours and Elinor’s.” George licked his lips nervously, making Philip nervous too. He looked across the room, angling himself toward where Anna stood speaking with a friend. “But that’s not the only reason I came.”
Before Philip could ask what he meant, the dinner gong sounded. Guests filed out of the drawing room, shepherded by Elinor. Anna cast a glance back at him as she left through the doors.
“Whatever the reason, it seems most pressing.” Philip watched the last guests leave. “We will not be missed. Tell me now.”
* * *
Anna hesitated outside the doors to the dining room, casting her eyes back toward the drawing room, where Philip had remained with George. She shot Elinor a side glance as she passed by, ushering the last guest inside. The heat from a nearby sconce blazed against Anna’s face.
“What’s the matter, love?” Elinor asked, taking Anna’s arm once everyone was settled inside. “Dinner will be served shortly. You should go in and find your seat.”
“It’s Philip.” Anna swallowed as her throat ran dry. “He’s remained behind to speak with George. George must still be quite cross with him, don’t you think? I tried to speak with my cousin, but…” She frowned, thinking back to their interactions in the drawing room. Her seeking him out, George avoiding her. “Something is wrong.”
“Just the old boys being boys.” Elinor didn’t look as convinced as she sounded. “Let them hash things out in their own way. Your cousin loves you, and Philip… Well, my brother is a strange man, but despite his claims to the contrary, I think he cares a great deal for you too.”
“You overestimate his affections for me.” Anna shrugged one shoulder. “Not that I mind. He has been much more accommodating lately.”
“Something he would not have done unless he genuinely sought to please you.” Elinor dragged her further away from the doors for fear of being overheard. “I know I have been hard on my brother. Frankly, I have had all the patience of an executioner with him. It wasn’t fair. I was the chief advocate for your marriage, before he rushed off to ask you for your hand in the middle of the night. We all agreed to accept a match of convenience… But there is nothing convenient about the way the two of you have been going on. If he wanted to leave, he would. And now with this offer from Wellington…”
“You know about it?”
“Philip speaks to his valet, and his valet speaks to my maid, and my maid speaks to me.” Elinor smiled at her tact. “It would not be the worst thing if he left. The ton would not look sideways at a colonel leaving on a military errand. You would stay behind, but such is the life of a woman married to an officer.”
Anna hesitated. Her heart screamed to be listened to. And Elinor, despite her other engagements that night, seemed inclined to listen. If she couldn’t tell Philip about the feelings gnawing at her, his sister would just have to do.
“But that’s just the thing. I don’t care what the ton thinks. I would rather he remain here with me, and we be miserable, and everyone know it.”
“We are talking about my brother, yes?” Elinor smiled incredulously. “Grouchy, mostly silent Philip? You would sacrifice your freedom and happiness just to remain by his side?”
“Why must it be a sacrifice? If Philip would just let me in…” Anna clenched her fists, unsurprised by the torrent of emotions that flooded to the surface.
“You love him, don’t you?”
Anna looked up at Elinor, her chest tightening with fear.
“Of course, you do. I can see it in your eyes.” Elinor sighed, her body sagging. Her chandelier earrings twinkled as she shook her head. “Oh, what has he done to you? None of this is right.”
