And though he had spoken these words before, and she had found them delightful yet vague, in that very moment, she could not help but feel a shiver race through her body, utterly exhilarating.
“I know it,” she whispered and blinked once, raising her eyes to his.
He looked at her and the world faded away. The gentle tones of the waltz, the sound of dancing shows on the parquet—it all slipped away as all she could hear was his breathing and the sound of her own heart thundering in her ears. She didn’t know what was happening to her for their conversation had not been romantic in the least—and yet, something about the way that he had made it so very clear she was his, that she belonged to him and nobody was to harm her, had awakened something inside her.
It was something she could not name, and yet, something so powerful it was all-consuming. Her lips parted, and then, she felt his grip on her tighten.
“I hope you will forgive me,” he muttered.
“For what?” she asked, feeling as though she had drunk far more than one glass of wine.
“For what I am about to do,” he said. Then, as the music ended, he tipped her sideways so that her hair flew backward, and she let out a gasp. As she looked up, she saw him hover above her, and above him, the sparkling chandelier that tinkled and burst with bright lights where the candle light hit the glass.
“Eammon,” she whispered as he leaned down and placed his lips on hers.
The kiss was warm, sweet, and demanding all at onc,e and Charity’s eyes fluttered shut as she heard murmurs rise around them. However, she did not care.Whateverr she and Eammon were, whatever they might be in the future, right no,w they were united in a most mesmerizing kiss.
CHAPTER26
Eammon
Bootles gentleman’s club was alive with chatter and the clatter of forks and spoons against porcelain, though Eammon found himself feeling out of sorts. This did not go unnoticed by his cousin.
“You look utterly dreadful,” Thomas remarked, causing Eammon to scoff. It was hardly a surprise he did not present his finest visage, given the restless nights he had endured for days on end.
Almost a week had passed since the ball at his aunt and uncle's residence, and though their ruse had succeeded—London was abuzz with gossip concerning the Duke and Duchess of Leith and their dramatic waltz at the ball—matters at home remained far from resolved.
That wretched waltz. It was no wonder that it was considered sinful to share such a dance in the past. Today, their society was less stringent, less prudish, and thus, it was danced widely. Still, he could see how it had earned its reputation of being the most improper of dances.
He had wanted to enjoy himself when he and Thomas had exited the smoking room, it was true. He’d intended to take a turn with her—but when he’d seen her, he’d known he had to stay away. Something about her had a hold over him, and he could not give in. Thus, he’d stirred a disagreement between them and left. He would have stayed away, too, if not for Lord Barron’s appearance. Seeing that man with her had invoked a flame of jealousy in him.
Nobody spoke to his wife in so intimate a manner. Especially not when their entire ruse hinged on people believing they were wed. Thus, he’d interceded—and found himself dancing the waltz with her after all.
The dance had stirred within him emotions he had scarcely known how to wield. As they’d danced, he had gazed into Charity's eyes, so alive with curiosity and vibrancy. He had felt her form in his grasp more acutely than ever, his longing to draw her towards him, to hold her close, almost overwhelming.
The kiss had been entirely unplanned. Indeed, it had swept over him with unexpected force as the dance had ended. He had sought a dramatic conclusion to their performance, thinking a dip would suffice. Yet, as he’d dipped her and seen her looking up at him, the light of the chandelier reflected in her bright eyes, his desire to kiss her had overtaken him entirely.
Now, he regretted that impulsive act. She had surely perceived it as a signal of deeper sentiment; why would she not? He himself had believed it to signify something, too, given the way they’d looked at each other. He was all too aware it meant that his feelings for her were spiraling beyond his control—he was falling in love with his wife. And she undoubtedly felt the same. Thus, he’d done his best to remove himself from her over this past week, excusing himself from their shared dinner and spending time away from home.
He wanted to do the opposite, to seek her company, to be with her all day and night, but he could not. Distance was what was needed.
“Eammon?” Thomas called, drawing him back from his dark reverie. He noticed their whiskeys before them. “Pray, what were you pondering? No, do not tell me. Charity.”
“What else?” Eammon grumbled.
“What else indeed,” Thomas replied, arching an eyebrow. “Considering you think of her at all hours, do you not find it wise to confess what is obvious for all to see? You care for her.”
“So what if I do?” he barked, his voice rising a shade too loudly, provoking curious glances from the next table. “So what if I do?” he repeated, in a lower tone. “She is my wife.” He wiped his brow, a bead of perspiration forming.
“You were adamant about keeping her at a distance when we spoke after the ball,” Thomas reminded him gently.
“You need not parrot my own words back to me; I am most familiar with them,” Eammon replied tersely. Indeed, it was true—after the ball, he had sought counsel with Thomas and lamented how challenging it had become to be near Charity following their dance. He knew Thomas’s counsel to tell her the truth was the correct way. He should tell her. Honesty was best. His parents had always insisted on honesty and advocated against keeping secrets outside of the family.
But he could not confess that he had married her to secure his own hidden secret, nor could he share that secret with her. Moreover, he felt a profound impulse to shield her, recognizing that Markham would never relent.
“I must maintain a distance for her sake as well as mine,” Eammon affirmed, and Thomas shrugged.
“I suppose if you believe that to be best, then so be it,” Thomas replied. “However, it may well jeopardize your chance at happiness with her.”
