“There is no reason to,” he chided her, his hand coming up to her chin to coax her to look at him again. “We have experienced more than our fair share of marital troubles since our wedding, Marina.”
“What shall we do, Phillip?”
Gingerly, he traced the line of her jaw with his thumb. “Tonight, we should get some rest. In the morning, we can determine the best course of action. Together.”
CHAPTER 29
Breakfast was tense to say the least.
Despite the progress Marina felt had been made, Phillip seemed to have had a change of heart in the night. His brow was set in a hard, fast line as though he were deep in thought. She watched him eat, her own food sour in her mouth and like lead in her belly, and he did not once look up from his plate. Despite the way their conversation ended the night before, both the Duke and Duchess suffered restless nights.
“What is it that you have planned for today?” Marina’s eyes focused on her husband, who continued to chew for several seconds, patted his mouth with a napkin, and finally looked up—though not at her. Just in her general direction.
“Is it to be this way each day, my dear Marina?”
“I cannot know what you mean, Phillip.”
“Can’t you?” Phillip rose from his seat and walked toward her, stopping a short distance away from where she still sat. “I have thought quite a bit about what we spoke of before. Of honesty and partnership. Do you truly believe that this is the hallmark of a strong marriage?”
“I am sure of it.”
“Then allow me, Marina, to shed some light on our situation.” He stepped closer and held his hand out for her to take. When she did, he pulled her up to him, steadying her by the shoulders when she stumbled. “There are certain things which a man must keep to himself.”
“Certainly, there are, Phillip, but?—”
“I was not done speaking.” There was a sharpness to his tone which caught Marina off guard. She gazed into his eyes, and all she saw there was disdain. He bore a striking resemblance, just then, to his father. It felt to Marina that the man she had gotten to know since they were married was lost to her.
“Of course. My apologies,” she answered, her voice dry and airy.
“I believe that I have done all that I can to humor you, Marina. There is very little that you have asked of me that I have not been willing to give you. You mistake me when I do not give you every detail of my thought process for a man capable of contempt and malice for you. I have seen what family looks like for you, and I have done as much as I can to be that. But I have since drawn a new conclusion.”
“What is it?”
Phillip bent his head so that they were mere inches apart. His eyes studied her for a moment, and her breath caught in her throat. What she had thought, before, to be contempt was something altogether different. He was pained. She had done something to hurt him, and he was trying in earnest to explain. Her body trembled in his hands, worried that she had shattered her marriage into pieces.
“I have shared with you what my childhood was like. You knew well before we crossed paths that I have spent a great deal of time out in the world on my own.” Marina watched him choke something back but was unsure of what. His grip on her shoulders tightened. “We have talked at great length about my mother. My existence before you appeared in my life was miserable at worst and lonely at best. I know what you have heard about me.”
“I have heard only what was printed in the scandal sheets. I would not give it any heed, Phillip, but that you have never ventured to correct me.”
“I did not know that I had to. Was I to believe what was printed about you in them? That your mouth, age, and hovering father should render you unmarriageable?”
There was a pause after which the Duke, at last, relinquished his hold on Marina, his hands sliding down the length of her arms and gently taking her hands in his. His gaze fell to them when Marina could not give him an answer.
“I do not blame you, Marina, for your caution. I know quite well that your apprehension toward me comes from your habit of being overprotective of your sisters, and it has extended to you—to our marriage. I did not…I did not ask for you as my bride to hurt you or humiliate your family. I feel that I have made that clear.”
“Are you to tell me that the allegations in the scandal sheets are not at all true, even in part?”
“There is little substance to them but that my uncle tells stories about my father when he has had too much mead and utters my name instead. Perhaps it is the mere fact that I was so far removed from society for so long that whoever sits and writes of the ton felt me easy fodder for an exciting story. Whatever it is, I did not then and do not now have any interest in meaningless companionship. Would you like me to tell you the truth, Marina?”
Her head nodded though her heart screeched at her that she did not—there would be no putting her queries to rest unanswered. However, she could never have been prepared for what he said next.
“When we first married, I did so with the intention of abandoning you here.”
“Abandoning me?”
“Yes. The night that we met, I, too, was under the influence of the ton’s opinion of you. I thought you were stubborn, wily, andentirely too dedicated to your family. Because of this, I believed we were a perfect match. I would come, once or twice a year, to the manor to handle my affairs. You, Mathilde, and my steward could keep the property and estate in good condition while I was away.”
“And you? What of you, Phillip? What would you do? Where would you go?”
