The bride was sure that she would faint. She told Olivia as much.
“Please keep some salts handy during the ceremony,” Marina begged.
“Stop your squirming,” was the younger girl’s only answer. Her svelte fingers were working to weave fresh flowers across the crown of Marina’s hair. Her ringlets had been gathered into a loose bun, and the budding roses adorning it had been plucked by Olivia from the bottom of the bouquet the Duke had gifted her. The remainder of it was downstairs on display, decorating the dining room table where Phillip and her family would be celebrating the union during the wedding breakfast.
“Do not jest, Olivia. My heart is racing.”
Olivia stopped her fussing over Marina’s hair and moved to stand before her. The elder girl was dressed in a beautiful white dress with simple, silver trimmings and adornments. It was flattering and elegant but did not distract from its wearer’s natural beauty. This, too, had been a gift from Phillip.
“Marina, what is it that troubles you? Today should be a joyous one.”
“What does not trouble me, Olivia? I have never been away from the three of you. I still feel that the Duke and I do not know each other. And I—” Marina stopped. She was just about to confide in Olivia that she was still unsure of the Duke’s motivations. He had been as forthcoming as he’d ever been the day they spoke in the park but not at all since. What was she to think? Every minute which brought her closer to their matrimony brought Marina closer to having a hysterical episode.
“And?”
Marina sucked in a deep breath, shutting her eyes and willing her nerves to still.
“Never you mind,” she answered, her voice now more level. “It is all in my mind.”
“Precisely. It cannot be all bad, Marina. The way that he looks at you is like a dream.”
“The way that he looks at me?”
The girls were interrupted by the housekeeper who called upon them to come down to the carriage. It was time to head to the church. Marina knew that she had done her duties, smiled at the appropriate times, expressed her gratitude where needed, and said her lines as they had been rehearsed. Otherwise, the entire event went by more quickly than she expected. While she’d wanted it to be over then, she felt foolish for thinking anything of the sort as she sat in a carriage, now the Duchess of Peterborough, entirely in silence across from her husband. She dabbed at her puffy cheeks though the remnants of her tearful goodbyes to her family had long ago dried.
Phillip had felt much the same way. The entire ceremony of marriage felt stuffy to him. It was as if they had been made to put on a pageant for their family only to now be going home as husband and wife. There were no instructions or manuals about how to conduct daily life. There was, he thought, but one matterhe needed to attend to before they arrived at the Hayward Estate.
“Marina, are you quite well?” he asked, his voice soft and probing.
She swallowed, fidgeting with adjusting her skirts and hair for a moment before answering. “I am, Your Grace. I am merely mourning my girlhood, if you will. My brother and sisters…I still feel as though they need me. It will take some time to adjust to being away from them.”
“You may go and visit them whenever you like,” he insisted. “I know that they will miss you just as dearly as you must already miss them.” He did not elaborate, and Marina was not eager to initiate another conversation. Her only wish was that he might show her some glimmer of hope for the future of their marriage, and for her, this felt like it. Even if they continued to make progress slowly like this, they would make progress.
Phillip’s thoughts were not in alignment with her own, however. The wedding was as if he had marked off a task on his work ledger. Marina was a wonderful woman, and he still believed that he had chosen the right woman to wed. She would make a remarkable duchess, and he felt sure that he could make her happy by supplying whatever she wanted financially. There was nothing his estate could not handle, but there were many things his heart could not. So long as he did not forget his conviction to remain free of affection for her, Phillip could protect and provide for her.
CHAPTER 8
Hayward Estate was gorgeous as they drove up. It had been closed to the public for a decade, much longer than Marina had been attending balls, so she had never seen it in person. Her mind wandered to hosting elaborate dinner parties and a grand ball each season, but the moment she stepped inside, all of that changed.
One would never know that it was a bright, sunny afternoon from the interior of the Duke and Duchess’ new marital home. Marina stood just inside the doorway, her eyes adjusting to the darkness. She was astonished—all of the windows were covered, and many of the paintings and mirrors hung on the wall were still covered in black cloth. It was dreary and stifling and not at all what she had imagined. Her husband had seemed much brighter.
Did he think of this as a temporary home?
“Your Grace, this is Mathilde. She is the housekeeper here.” Mathilde was an older woman with beautiful features and herhair pulled back into a tight bun. Marina smiled warmly at her, and Mathilde gave her a deep curtsy. “There are a handful of maids in our employ, but Mathilde will be your greatest asset as you learn the ropes. I suggest that you first discuss hiring some lady’s maids for yourself. Now, if you will excuse me, Duchess, I will be retiring to my study for the evening.”
Marina’s eyes widened. He meant to leave her there on her own on their first night as husband and wife? Would she be dining alone?
“But, Your Grace, the windows—may I—?” she called after him.
Without so much as a glance over his shoulder he said, “Yes, of course, do whatever you like. This is your home now.”
After that, he left her there with Mathilde her only company. The two women stared at each other for a moment, and Marina felt a sinking sensation. The silence of Hayward Estate wrapped itself around her like chilly ocean water threatening to drag her down below the surface.
“Allow me to show you to your chambers,” the older woman offered, her voice firm but sweet. Marina nodded. The rooms were decorated in brighter colors than the rest of the house as if only her own bedroom and powder room had been refreshed since Phillip had taken over as the Duke of Peterborough.
“If I may be so bold, Your Grace, might I suggest that you retire early for tonight? There has not been a Duchess of Peterboroughin many years, and there will be much for you to learn beginning in the morning.”
Marina smiled softly in agreement then watched Mathilde take her leave before she was left all alone in a room that felt as if it belonged to a stranger. She slept fitfully all through the night and woke early the next morning with a feeling of heaviness.
