“The two of you were lucky to find love. Not everyone is. And I’ve come to understand that if I want to have security in the future, I need to have a husband who can provide it.”
The mood was dampened a little after this declaration, and Judith knew that she would be at odds with her friends, who had both married men they loved. Although not without tribulations of their own.
They finished their tea and moved on to less vexing subjects, though Judith felt the heaviness in the air still. Perhaps it was merely due to her own mood. She ought to be happy she was getting married, but she didn’t feel it. There was no excitement, no desire to plan the venue, the music, the wedding breakfast. Nothing.
It was Rosy who suddenly interrupted the silence that had settled over them when she snapped her fingers.
Her eyes lit up with amusement. “I received a letter from you this morning,” she said, picking an envelope from the table beside the chaise.
“What?” Judith sputtered, her lips parting as she recognized her own handwriting on the letter. The cursed letter that mentioned the kiss between her and Aaron, and his betrayal.
“It was forwarded to me from Spain, and I thought it would be fun to read it together now that we are all reunited.”
Judith’s heart sank, her stomach twisting into knots. “No, Rosy… really, there’s no need. I already told you everything that is in the letter.” she stammered, reaching out to take the letter from her.
But Rosy, ever the playful one, held it out of reach with a mischievous smile. “Nonsense! It’s been a while since I received a letter from you, Judith. I’m sure it will be full of interesting news you haven’t shared yet.”
Judith’s face flushed with panic as Rosy began to unfold the letter. Desperate, she reached for it again, but Rosy held firm.
“Rosy, please,” Judith pleaded, her voice trembling. “It’s private.”
Rosy looked at her friend, her playful expression softening. “Private? What do you mean?” She glanced at Joanna, who sat upright.
“Oh, does it contain something about me?” Joanna asked, sounding genuinely dismayed.
“No,” Judith said. “I’d never write anything disparaging about you to Rosy or anyone else.”
“Then what’s the matter?” Joanna asked, concerned. “If it’s truly private, I can leave. But why didn’t you say so earlier?”
“It’s not that… It’s…” Judith bit her lip, feeling a lump rise in her throat. “I… I didn’t want to burden you with my worries,” she admitted, tears welling up in her eyes.
Joanna leaned closer, her face full of sympathy. “Judith, we’re your friends. You can tell us anything.”
Judith took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. “The letter… it’s about Aaron,” she confessed. “I wrote it when I was feeling lost and confused.”
Rosy nodded, understanding flickering in her eyes. “I see, I had a feeling there was more to it than you let on,” she said gently. “Why don’t you tell us what it says? You don’t have to read it if you’re uncomfortable.”
Judith hesitated, then nodded, knowing she owed them some explanation. “The night Aaron took me to the Lord Chancellor’s home to introduce me to Lord Leeds, he kissed me.”
Both her friends gasped, and Rosy clapped a hand over her mouth. “Kissed you? Goodness, but then why are you with Lord Leeds?” she asked.
“Because he apologized immediately, and I felt so confused because I realized then that I really loved him. I didn’t realize it fully until after he kissed me, and then… everything fell apart. I went to find him and overheard hin in the garden, telling Lord Leeds that I was nothing but a burden to him.”
“A burden? But why kiss you if you were only a burden?” Joanna frowned.
“What a scoundrel,” Rosy hissed.
“I don’t know, but I understood right then that I was a fool and that he just kissed me because he is a rake and he saw his chance and… He didn’t care for me at all. So I stopped speaking to him. I avoided him and kept my distance. Instead, I courted Lord Leeds,” Judith explained miserably.
“I knew there was a change in you lately—even Kenneth noticed it,” Joanna admitted. “But I didn’t want to pressure you into telling me what had happened. Oh, Judith,” she sighed, reaching for her friend’s hand. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
Judith shook her head, feeling the weight of her emotions pressing down on her. “I thought it was hopeless,” she mumbled. “He told Lord Leeds he could never be with a woman like me. I felt so betrayed and hurt.”
Rosy’s eyes softened with understanding. “I’m so sorry, Judith,” she said. “But you should have told Joanna, even if I was away. I wish I had been back sooner. We could have helped you through it.”
Judith nodded, wiping away a tear. “I know. But now, with Lord Leeds’ proposal… I just want to move on. Ineedto move on.”
Joanna squeezed her hand reassuringly. “We’ll support you no matter what, Judith. But you deserve to be truly happy. Don’t settle for less.”
