“I very much hope so. Someone sophisticated, with a love for music, and, above all, kind and loving.”
Aaron forced his lips to remain shut, but he wanted to groan.
Graham’s eyes brightened, hope evident in his expression. “Do you know someone who fits that description, Aaron? If so, I would be most grateful for an introduction.”
Aaron’s throat tightened as he fought the urge to say Judith’s name. Graham would be perfect for her, and she for him. But thethought of losing her, even to a man as worthy as Graham, was a prospect he couldn’t bear to contemplate.
“I’ll keep my eyes open, Graham,” Aaron replied, his words carefully chosen. “I’m sure the right person is out there for you.”
As he bid his friend farewell and stepped out onto the bustling streets of Mayfair, his thoughts were consumed by Judith. He knew he wasn’t ready to let go of her, even if it meant denying Graham a chance at happiness. And her a chance of defying her brother.
But no. He would introduce them in time. He would. It was the right thing. But for the time being, he had to… He had to keep Judith’s existence and the role he played in her life from Graham.
Deep within, Aaron grappled with the conflicting desires of his heart, torn between his loyalty to his friend and the longing for his own happiness. The truth was a burden he wasn’t prepared to bear yet.
CHAPTER 16
The following weekend, Judith found herself at Green Park with Matilda, who had kindly offered to chaperone her, since Marianne was ill. The late February air was crisp, carrying the scent of freshly turned earth and the faint promise of spring. The park was dotted with clusters of people enjoying the sunshine, despite the occasional gusts of wind that tugged at bonnets and cloaks.
Judith felt a flutter of nerves at the prospect of seeing Aaron again. She knew she should not be excited about seeing him—she should concern herself with finding a husband, yet it could not be helped. Every time she thought back to their interactions, she wished for more of the same.
These are dangerous thoughts. I must focus on the task at hand. Aaron is not available. He’s not interested. I must remember this.
Her mind racing with the events of the past week, she made herself think of Almack’s instead and the gentlemenshe’d danced with. Unpleasant images of her interaction with Thomas Cornell resurfaced, but she pushed them aside. Instead, she tried her best to recall the gentlemen she’d danced and conversed with, trying to decipher if any of them made her heart skip a beat. Alas, none did. Not even Lord Pembroke, who’d been so charming but whose reputation she now worried about.
“Dear, your bonnet will fall off at any moment.” Matilda’s voice interrupted her thoughts.
She had been so preoccupied with everything that she hardly noticed her bonnet had gone askew until Matilda’s gentle hands set it right.
“Faith, I didn’t realize,” Judith muttered.
Matilda smiled. “There you go,” she said, smoothing Judith’s hair back into place. “You are a little pale. Some color would do you good. Here.”
She pinched Judith’s cheeks lightly, bringing a touch of color to them.
“Matilda!” Judith exclaimed, half-mortified, half-amused.
Matilda laughed, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “There, much better. You look radiant, dear.”
Judith couldn’t help but smile back, a wave of affection washing over her. This little gesture, one she’d seen mothers make atballs and in parks to make their daughters look more appealing, somehow touched something within her. The feeling wasn’t one of daughterly affection, but it came close.
These past few days, she’d spent more time with Matilda, either going for walks, dining together in Worcester House, or sitting together while reading. It had been comforting not to be alone in the house anymore. Still, this new closeness was something they had to navigate.
“Why did you come with me today?” she asked, her voice softer.
“Does it bother you? Would you rather have me send another maid?” Matilda asked, the smile on her face faltering.
Judith quickly shook her head. “No, no, that’s not what I meant. I meant… why do you care so much? Why did you offer to speak to Oliver? Why did you offer to take me in if I wanted to run away?”
Matilda paused, her gaze softening as she looked at her. “Because, Judith, I hoped that you, John, and to some extent Oliver, would want me in your lives. I know I’m not your mother, and I’m not trying to replace her, but I’d like to be here for you in whatever way you need.”
Judith felt a lump form in her throat, touched by Matilda’s words. She had never fully appreciated Matilda’s efforts until now. Impulsively, she stepped forward and hugged her, a gesture that drew a few surprised glances from passersby. Public displays of affection were rare, but Judith didn’t care.
“I do want you in our lives, I really do. I know I never took my time to get to know you when Father was alive, and I should have, but now… I… I am grateful, Matilda.”
Matilda beamed, her eyes sparkling with emotion. “Thank you, Judith,” she whispered.
Judith pulled back, her eyes misty. “Thank you, Matilda. I’m glad you’re here.”
