“Yes, Judith, you know it isn’t true. You were always one of the most graceful ladies in the ton. Gentlemen always wanted to dance with you and be in your company,” Rosy added.
Judith let out a puff of air. “That might have been the case in the past, but I am older now. Everybody who hears that immediately thinks there is something wrong with me. Why else would I be unwed? They think something is wrong with me, and the way I conducted myself yesterday will only give more credence to this.”
She closed her eyes, and the sound of the wind whipping around the house drifted to her ears. It mingled with the crackling from the fireplace. Usually, winter was one of her favorite times of the year. She loved how the leaves changed color and then fell in big piles, which she would sometimes joyously kick with her feet into the air to watch them dance around as they fell back down to the ground.
She loved bundling up on the lounge with hot chocolate and freshly baked pastries while reading a good book. Some nights, she liked to play the pianoforte until her fingers grew stiff. When her father was alive, he used to sit beside her and enjoy the music. She hadn’t played yet this year. In fact, her fingers felt so stiff that she wasn’t sure if she would be capable of producing any sort of pretty sound.
Hang that Aaron Fitzwilliam and his haughty nature. Joanna was right.
“He had made me so uncomfortable. He had me thinking that I truly did not know how to entice a gentleman into desiring my company. I know I am an exceptional conversationalist. How dare this man instill doubt in me?”
Judith’s friends exchanged glances before focusing on her again.
Joanna asked, “What are you going to do?”
“I agreed to go to the Wednesday night ball at Almack’s tomorrow with His Grace. He’s accompanying me along with one of the maids. He said he would introduce me to gentlemen he knows and ensure my dance card is full. He asked for the first dance, however,” Judith replied.
Rosy raised her eyebrows. “The first dance? Why in the world would he ask for that?”
Judith shifted in her seat a little sheepishly. “I might have implied that I have not danced in a while. I know it is not something one is likely to forget, but in the moment, when we were speaking to one another, I felt so very low. I felt like such a failure. I worried I might not be able to dance properly and humiliate myself. So, he offered to dance with me first.” She paused then and slid forward on her seat. “Rosy, Joanna, I will tell you something I have not told anybody else.”
Her friends both leaned forward and waited with anticipation.
Judith took a deep breath and then shared with her dearest friends what had been on her mind these last few hours since returning from the park.
“When my father was alive, I was not highly concerned about what would happen to me if I did not find a husband. Of course, I wanted to. I still do, but I had resigned myself to being alone if I could not find love. I knew my father would look after me. He would have allowed me to live here, with him and Matilda and John when he’s home from Eton. They would not have forced me into any sort of marriage. But with Oliver, it is different. His Grace implied that he will marry me off to a man I do not want if I don’t find a husband by the time he returns.”
“What?” Rosy exclaimed. “An arranged marriage? That is dreadful. Are you sure he meant it?”
“Rosy is right. What if the Duke only said that to make you agree to his plan?” Joanna added.
Judith shook her head. “He did not seem to want to tell me, and the truth is, I suspected it for some time. Oliver isn’t like my father was. He’s… I don’t know what it is, but he isn’t so concerned about my happiness—he never has been. I do not doubt it is true.” She pressed her lips together for a second. “The Duke indicated that it would be better for me to let him introduce gentlemen to me that I might like. And I feel he might be right. I think, otherwise, Oliver might choose someone for me who is far more dreadful.”
“Do you truly believe that your brother might force you into a marriage you do not want?” Rosy asked, her tone betraying her feelings. “That is unconscionable.”
“But not unheard of,” Joanna pointed out. “You know that is how many couples meet. Our parents might not have, but your in-laws and mine both found one another in this way. And both were miserable.”
“Joanna!” Rosy hissed, but Judith raised her hand.
“It is all right. I am glad Joanna is as blunt as she is because she is right. Arranged marriages often spell nothing but misery. I want to choose a husband of my own, and I most certainly do not want to rely on my brother to pick one for me. He doesn’t even know me. He has been away for so long… But can I trust Aaron? He tormented me when I was a child.”
“Did not you torment him also?” Joanna asked. “I remember your father telling mine that you were a little wild as a child.”
Judith tilted her head to the side. She did not recall acting in an unkind way toward Aaron Fitzwilliam, but the truth was, she had been a child, and memories of that time were not exactly clear.
“It doesn’t matter,” she replied in the end. “I do not think that I can trust either of them with my interests. But what am I to do?”
“It is simple,” Joanna said. She crossed her legs at the ankles as she leaned forward. “Let him teach you whatever it is he thinks he can teach you. Let him introduce you to gentlemen. But be sure you do not allow yourself to be pushed into anything. If he thinks he knows eligible gentlemen who are looking to be married and who might be suitable for you, let him. You have two months. That is an eternity before your brother returns. And if you have not found a husband by the time he does return, we will tell our husbands to sit down with your brother and talk sense into him. All will be well.”
Judith smiled at Joanna, genuinely grateful that the two of them had managed to revive a friendship that had been forged back when they were in finishing school.
Thanks to her foolishness, Judith had managed to ruin her friendship with not just Joanna but with Rosy and their older sister, Sally, some years ago. But since then, they had mended things, and she had never been more grateful for their friendship.
The click-clack of boots on the marble floor drew their attention, and then Matilda entered.
“Your Graces,” she greeted with a smile upon spotting Rosy and Joanna, curtseying before the younger women who outranked her. “I thought I heard voices here. Are your fine husbands with you?”
“No, My Lady, they are not. Although we were just here talking to Judith about finding her a husband,” Joanna said.
