Like Emma, Owen had to share his thoughts, his feelings, in his own time. Georgiana thought of her dear sister and how it would break her if anything happened to Emma. But no one had suffered because of her.
Owen didn’t elaborate. She saw the way he fidgeted, struggling to gather his thoughts. But it was his feelings he struggled to rein in.
When she brushed her hand against his again, and he didn’t move, she intertwined their fingers. Then she gave him a gentle squeeze.
“It wasn’t your fault,” she whispered.
Owen jerked back. Because of their linked hands, she went with him. “No. You don’t know. You don’t know, Georgiana. You weren’t there. No one else was at the river.”
“What river, Owen? What is it that scares you so?”
“I’m not scared, I… I only…” He glanced at the painting and then looked at their entwined hands in confusion. “The less I think about them, the better. It hurts less that way. I can forget about what happened at the river.”
There was such pain in his gaze that she nearly wept. Was this the reason behind his anger with her? With the world?
“What happened at the river?”
He hung his head. “I shouldn’t have been there. They said not to go on the days that it rained. But I was foolish.”
“You couldn’t have been more than a child.”
“I was six. I was old enough to know.”
Her mouth dropped open. “That is not old enough, Owen. Don’t say that.”
“They wouldn’t have come after me if I had been smarter. But I liked the river, and they loved me. They saved me, but… but they couldn’t save themselves.”
What pain he must have endured. Georgiana searched his face for answers, and all she saw was a lifetime of heartache. There was such vulnerability in his dark green eyes. Was this the way he saw himself? Was it always the way he saw himself? The reason his parents were no longer with him.
“Owen.” She faced him now, their toes nearly touching. Their hands were still entwined. Slowly, she lifted her free hand to cradle his face. Inch by inch she moved closer, waiting for him to flee. But he didn’t. “You were only a child.”
“I was a fool.”
“You cannot blame yourself for that. Your mother and father wouldn’t want that for you,” she insisted. “They loved you. They loved you so much that they were willing to sacrifice every breath they had left to save you.”
Watching his eyes open, Georgiana couldn’t help but feel as though she were seeing him for the first time. She felt her heart flutter. His cheek was smooth against her hand. Smooth and warm. Never before had she felt so connected with him, until this moment.
But it ended just as quickly as it had started.
Owen sucked in a deep breath. He shook his head, freeing himself from her. As her hands were empty, she slowly dropped them to her sides.
“I… Well, now you know.” He cleared his throat while looking away, straightening his cuffs. “Thank you for your, er, understanding. I’ll reconsider hanging this painting out front if you’ll allow me some time.”
“Certainly,” was all she could bring herself to say.
Offering a jerky nod, Owen stepped back. “Very good. Allow me to… to offer my apologies for my earlier words. They were harsh. I shall make an effort to do as you wish.”
“As I wish?” She had already forgotten.
“Our marriage.” After smoothing his hands down his coat, he straightened up to look her in the eye. The heartache had been buried down once more. But now, she knew it was there. He couldn’t hide all of himself from her any longer. “You wish for more communication and companionship, clearly, and I shall see what I can do to provide it. Good day, wife.”
Her reply was automatic. “Good day, husband.”
Right then, she realized that she was in his space and not her own. She glanced around her before she nodded to herself and left the room.
Closing the doors behind her, Georgiana fought the urge to look back. But she stayed by the door for a long time. Telling herself she only wished to ensure that he was well, she listened for any sounds in his study. She heard him take a few steps, and then she heard the creaking of a chair. It was followed by a loud sigh.
The sound melted her heart, giving her hope that he was going to be all right.