Joanna’s brow furrowed in surprise. “But in your last letter, you sounded hopeful about Leonard,” she reminded her. “You said he took care of you during your illness and was so kind.”
“That was two weeks ago. Since then, Leonard has grown distant. We hardly talk anymore. He avoids me,” she confessed. “It is as if we never got closer at all. He is a different man. I never know what to think of him or make of all of this.”
Joanna’s eyes widened in shock. “I had no idea, Sally. I’m so sorry,” she murmured, her heart aching for her sister’s pain. At that moment, she vowed to stand by Sally’s side, offering her support in her time of need. Joanna furrowed her brow, concern etched into her features.
“I wish I knew what has gotten into him. He hasn’t been the same man he used to be,” Sally said, shaking her head. “What are you going to do now, Sally?” Joanna inquired softly.
Sally’s gaze turned inward for a moment, contemplating her next steps. “I’ll give him what he seems to want—distance,” she replied resolutely. “I’ll refrain from engaging with him too much and keep my distance.”
“But … Sally. That sounds so solemn and … sad. I had hoped you and he would find true love between the two of you and now this…” Joanna’s heartbreak for Sally was clear in the way her eyes shimmered with the onset of tears.
A sense of sadness lingered in her words as she continued, “Do not feel pity for me, Joanna. I won’t let this deter me from my original plan. I’ll focus on being the best Duchess I can be and making a difference in people’s lives. Perhaps I’ll join a society for orphans or for wounded soldiers—anything to contribute positively to society.”
Joanna nodded thoughtfully, considering Sally’s words. “Have you thought about talking to Leonard again? Maybe there’s a reason for his behavior,” she suggested gently, her eyes filled with concern.
Sally’s lips pressed into a thin line. “My dignity won’t allow it anymore, Joanna,” she admitted, her shoulders drooped forward in resignation. “Besides, I overheard Leonard speaking to Lord Finch. He made it abundantly clear that he sees me as nothing more than a burden.”
“What?” Joanna exclaimed, one hand clutching her neck. “What did he say?”
Sally looked out over the garden at their father and her nephew as she reported what had transpired. Her sister listened, her visage darkening with each word. When Sally was done, a heavy silence enveloped them as Joanna processed Sally’s words. Then, without a word, she reached out and took Sally’s hand, a silent support Sally so desperately needed.
Joanna’s brow furrowed with concern as she searched for a solution. “Perhaps we should talk to Father about this,” she suggested tentatively, her gaze drifting towards their father, who was engrossed in chasing the kite alongside Peter.
Sally’s eyes followed her sister’s gaze, watching their father’s joyful laughter mingle with Peter’s infectious giggles. A pang of guilt washed over her as she shook her head firmly. “No, Joanna. I can’t burden Father with this,” she insisted. “He just rebuilt the family after his mistakes, I can’t cause him more things to worry about. Besides, he needs Leonard’s alliance in the House of Lords and if he knows what Leonard said about me, it will make that harder too. Father needs all the friends he can get.”
“I suppose that is true. What about talking to Mother? She misses you terribly, Sally,” she suggested gently. “She always asks about you, wants to know how you are and when she might see you. I know what she did was wrong but she misses you.”
Sally’s expression hardened, her anger simmering beneath the surface. “I refuse to speak to Mother,” she spat out. “She’s the reason this mess even happened in the first place.”
Joanna recoiled slightly at Sally’s outburst, but she pressed on. “I know, but she wants to make amends. Remember how Father attempted to push me into a marriage to Lord Worcester?”
“Of course, I do,” Sally said, shuddering as she thought of the unfortunate match her father had arranged for her sister.
“I was so angry at him but I forgave him. I had to, in order to live without bitterness in my heart. Sally, perhaps it’s time to bury the hatchet with Mother. Holding onto this anger will only continue to hurt you,” she reasoned, her eyes pleading for understanding.
Sally’s jaw clenched, her resolve unyielding. “I know, but you and I are different. Our situations are different. Father’s plot failed, Mother’s set me on a path of loneliness, trapped in an unwanted marriage.”
“But… she is still your mother,” Joanna said quietly.
“Leonard gave me the same advice, but given his word can’t be trusted, I’ll have to go with my gut on this one,” she replied bitterly. “And my gut tells me not to speak to Mother.”
“Very well. I disagree entirely with this but I will not push you further. I know you have never taken that well,” Joanna consented. “I am always here for you, I hope you know that, Sally.”
“I do and I am grateful for it. But right now, I think I need some air. Would you mind if I took a walk before I go home?”
“Home? I thought you were staying for dinner,” Joanna explained.
“I was, but I think perhaps it is best that I go home. I do not want to sit across from Leonard, pretending to be happy when I am not. Not if I do not have to. I would have but now that you know, I think I will make myself the priority and do as myself the favor of not playing happy couple in front of my family. I am sure Kenneth knows everything by now as well.”
“But what about Father?” Joanna asked, looking out over the garden.
“He isn’t staying for dinner away, is he?” Sally replied, and Joanna nodded, giving in to Sally’s wishes again. She knew Joanna wanted what was best for her, but in his case, what Joanna thought was best, and what Sally knew she needed were two different things, seemingly irreconcilable.
* * *
Sally meandered through the woods; the hushed whispers of rustling leaves and the soft crunch of twigs underfoot accompanied her solitary journey. The dappled sunlight filtered through the dense canopy overhead, casting fleeting shadows that danced across the forest floor.
As she walked along the winding forest path, her thoughts consumed by Leonard and the shattered illusions of their relationship, Sally couldn’t help but feel a twinge of foolishness for ever entertaining the idea of being his wife. It was painfully evident that Leonard harbored no desire to be with her, yet her heart continued to ache for him despite this realization. Her inexplicable longing seemed incomprehensible, a cruel paradox that tormented her soul.
