“It is when one is ill.” With a gentle smile, Leonard rose from his seat.
As he turned to go, Sally’s eyes fell on her book,Little Goody Two Shoes, and she reached for it. At once, Leonard stopped in his tracks.
“And what in the world are you doing now?” His tone was more perplexed than upset.
“Read,” she said as she stretched her fingers toward the book but only managed to knock it off the table.
He was by her side in a flash, squatted, and lifted the book.
“Are you certain you should strain your eyes? When I have a cold, reading only gives me a headache,” he said, concerned.
“I know. Me too. But I am a little ... bored. So I thought reading will help me rest,” she admitted.
He watched her, his lips puckering and relaxing several times over.
“What if I read to you? How would you like that?” he offered.
“That sounds lovely,” she grimaced.
He glanced at the book and chuckled at the sight of it, a hint of amusement in his eyes.
“Ever since your arrival, this book seems to be haunting me. I saw it in the drawing room just two days ago, and in the garden the day before that,” he remarked with a wry smile.
Sally couldn’t help but tease him in return. “Perhaps you’re just meant to read it,” she quipped playfully, though it had been in all these places because she’d been reading it from front to back twice now.
With a nod, Leonard accepted her jest. “If that’s the case, then the book will get its will,” he agreed, his tone lighthearted.
Settling back against the pillows, Sally watched as Leonard sat beside her and picked up the book. His warm voice filled the room as he began to read, casting a comforting spell over her. Closing her eyes, Sally allowed herself to relax completely, savoring the moment and cherishing the warmth of Leonard’s presence by her side.
CHAPTER23
Leonard
Leonard quietly crept out of Sally’s chamber, careful not to disturb her as she slept. He stood in the hallway momentarily, taking in the house’s silence. The conflicting feelings that had plagued him for so long resurfaced. It seemed no matter how hard he tried to put distance between the two of them; something always drew him back in. Sleeping next to her had been wonderful, and reading to her had filled him with joy. But he knew he needed to stop calling on her, stop wanting to be near her. It would lead to nothing good.
He had to find a way to strengthen his resolve, to put back the walls Sally had so effortlessly torn down in such a short time. As he walked, his eyes fell on a hall door just beyond Sally’s chamber. It was the hall closet where he kept his mother’s belongings.He stepped from one foot to the other, looking left and right before stepping to the door.
This is it. This is what I need to remind myself of why I can’t allow Sally to be my wife in anything but name.
He wrapped his hand around the doorknob, knowing that if he turned it, he’d be drawn into the past. There, he’d find his strength, the strength to push Sally away for good. Did he want that?
Of course... Of course ... He wanted it. He needed it. They both did, even if Sally didn’t understand. Quickly, before he could change his mind, he opened the closet door and rummaged through the trunk on the floor until he found what he was looking for - his mother’s diaries.
A selection of them were kept in this box, neatly lined up. He ran his hand over their backs, longing for his mother to settle in his stomach when he saw the one he wanted to read.
He pulled it out, a plume of dust filling the air as he did, and then hurried to his study. Shutting the door, he settled into his chair and looked at the closed diary that held his mother’s story - and the key to his future.
As he opened it, his eyes watered at seeing his mother’s lovely handwriting. Cursive and full of swirls, it spoke of the young woman she’d been when she wrote it.
May 15th, 1788
My dearest diary, I can hardly believe it - I am now the Duchess of Chester! William and I have just returned from our honeymoon, and I am simply bursting with happiness and excitement. I cannot wait to start this new chapter of my life. Our home is beautiful, and I am so grateful to have such wonderful staff to care for us. Mrs. Hollingsworth, our housekeeper, has been simply marvelous. She’s been with the family for years and knows everything there is to know about running this household. And there’s her cousin, Fanny Farnsworth, who is my new lady’s maid. She’s young and eager to please; we shall be very close friends I am sure. To think I, a baron’s daughter, have a lady’s maid! William has been so kind and loving since our wedding. He adores me, I can tell, and I couldn’t be happier to be his wife. I was initially worried, given we didn’t know each other but a month before we were wed. Mother was right; Father made a wonderful choice for me! I can hardly wait to start a family with him and raise our children in this beautiful home. But I know that life isn’t always easy. I’m sure there will be challenges and hardships along the way. But for now, I choose to focus on the joy and excitement of this new adventure.
Leonard released a deep puff of air and ran a hand through his thick hair, which stood up in every direction due to the awkward way he’d slept. He knew what would come in this diary yet could not stop reading it. Flicking through the pages, he passed the first year of his parent’s marriage, entries becoming increasingly gloomy as he went. Then, he got to the one that gave a glimpse into his mother’s future.
The child has died. It was a boy. A boy. An heir. William would have been so happy if the child had only lived. He might have been less ... the way he is. He might have settled, knowing his line would not fall into the hands of his wretched cousin Clark. Oh... but fate was so cruel and took my boy. He did not even take a breath. Of course, it was much too early for him to come into the world, but ... How I wished I could have done better, how I wish the baby would have ... I so wish I had someone who loved me, for I know now that William’s caring demeanor was all false, a show for all the world to see. Now that my father is gone, and my brother is Baron Oakley, William has no reason to pretend to care for me. He knows my brother cares little about me...I should have known a girl like me could never be truly valued by a man like William. Yet, I am tired. I tried so hard. I hoped at least once he heard our little one did not live; he’d come to me and hug me. Hold me... Comfort me. But no. Instead, he looked at the child, his heir no more, and then ... he told me it was my fault. That I was useless, could not even give him a living child...
The rest of the page was smudged with his mother’s tears, and anger raged inside Leonard. He wanted to throw the diary but knew he had to keep reading on. he had to imagine his young mother, crying and distraught because of her husband.
