CHAPTER21
Leonard
Leonard sat in his study as the grandfather clock in the corner ticked, slowing toward three in the afternoon. He was due to visit Kenneth and Joanna with Sally. He’d been looking forward to it; he’d envisioned the afternoon already - the four of them together as a family, two couples engaged in an afternoon walk or a light game of shuttlecock.
He’d allowed those thoughts to pool in his mind for a few days; more than that, he’d allowed thoughts of the future to form. He’d known this was wrong, that he had to remember that he had to keep Sally safe, even from himself. Yet, he couldn’t keep the onslaught of feelings from overpowering him at times.
Sally had impressed him on the day of their first walk alone with her eagerness to learn about the vineyards. She’d cobbled down his walls with her kindness to the servants, her desire to help the tenants, and her relentless attempts to ensure their union was seen as legitimate for both their sakes.
More than that, he’d grown to crave her company. Sometimes, they’d sit in silence, each pursuing their time, yet it felt good and warm. It felt right. Being with her felt the way he had always imagined a perfect union would feel. Back when he’d still believed himself capable of being married, loving, and being loved. He’d thought it would be like this, being with someone who understood you even if you didn’t talk all the time.
Sharing a life with another person. Two people who belonged together.
He got up and walked to the sideboard where a portrait of his father hung. He curled his hands into a fist and glared up at it.
“Why did you have to be such a rotten man? Why did you have to ruin everything for me?” Then he returned to his mother’s portrait and shook his head.
“And you? Why did you have to leave your diaries for me to find? if I’d never known what he was like ...”
No, it’s not fair to blame her. The diary was not left for me. She didn’t plan to die the day she did...
There was this irrational anger at his mother because of his father - the reason he had to stop fooling himself into thinking he and Sally could ever be anything other than platonic companions.
He’d know this, of course. But it had taken the Keller’s visit the day before to truly bring it to his mind. What had he said? That he and Sally reminded him of the late Duke and Duchess?
Or had it been Mrs. Keller who said it? No matter who, they had been the words he needed to hear. The words that reminded him of the uncomfortable truth - he had a monster slumbering inside - and one day it would -
“Your Grace!” Mrs. Farnsworth’s voice ripped through the study, tearing him from his thoughts. A rapid knock came, and she burst in without waiting for him to call her.
“Mrs. Farnsworth, what in the world has happened?” he asked as he spun around and strutted across the room in large strides.
“The Duchess has collapsed!” she exclaimed.
Leonard’s heart lurched, panic seizing him like a vice.
“Collapsed?”
“In her chamber. She’s been unwell, Your Grace. More so than this morning. She’s been getting rapidly worse, Mary says,” the housekeeper informed him.
His mind flashed back to her sore throat that morning - and the illness that had ripped through the Keller household. Had she caught it after all?
Without hesitation, he sprang to his feet, his mind racing with a thousand dire possibilities. “What happened?” he demanded, his voice tight with fear as they hurried up the stairs.
“I am not certain. Mary rang the bell and called for a footman who alerted me.”
Leonard took two steps at once as he ran to her chamber.
As they burst into Sally’s quarters- the same quarters he’d visited the day after his mother died, the space where he found her diary, Leonard’s worst fears were realized.
Mary stood beside Sally, who lay on the bed, gasping with exhaustion. Her face shimmered with sweat, and her eyes were unfocused.
Leonard rushed to her side, his hands shaky as he gently held her hand. Her pulse raced against his skin, and he looked up.
“Mary, what happened? I need to know in detail,” he asked.
“She collapsed while trying to get into her bed. I was just fetching her nightgown when I saw her. She was mumbling for a minute, and then she fainted. Henry helped me get her into bed,” she said, referring to the footman assigned to this floor.
Leonard’s heart clenched at the sight of Sally’s feverish form; his mind awash with a torrent of dread.
