Sally smiled and looked at Joanna in the mirror. “With bedsheets as veils. And we’d get the cook to make us little cakes so we could pretend to have a wedding breakfast,” she said with a laugh.
“Yes, it feels like yesterday. Soon Louisa will be the one to play-act as a bride, and then she will be one soon enough,” Joanna replied, then pulled a face. “I hope not too soon.”
“You only just took her in, and already you worry about giving her up again to a husband; you do read too much, Joanna,” Sally teased, grateful for the respite from her thoughts.
“Perhaps,” she said, dropping her arms as she touched Sally’s back. “You do look lovely,” she said.
“Thank you,” Sally replied while placing a hand on Joanna’s. Despite Joanna’s efforts to cheerfully infuse the room, Sally couldn’t shake the overwhelming sense of dread that clung to her like a heavy cloak.
This was supposed to be the happiest day of her life, the day she had always dreamed of—a day filled with love and joy. Instead, it felt like a bleak reminder of the uncertain future that lay ahead. There were many things she could do once she was Duchess. She’d have influence, respect, and wealth beyond what she could imagine now. She could do so much good in the world, which was a blessing. But at what cost?
Marrying a man she hardly knew, who had made it abundantly clear that he wanted nothing to do with her, wasn’t exactly what dreams were made of.
“Sally, are you alright?” Joanna’s concerned voice broke through her thoughts, snapping Sally back to the present. “I mean, as alright as you can be.”
The sisters had met almost daily since the news of her engagement and the hasty wedding had broken. Joanna thus already knew Sally’s feelings, but of course, today was no ordinary day.
Forcing herself to focus, Sally managed to give a weak smile. “I’m fine, Jo. Just a bit nervous, that’s all.”
Joanna’s brow furrowed with worry as she studied her sister’s troubled expression. “You don’t have to be nervous, Sally. Leonard is a wonderful man. You’ll see. This is difficult right now, but in the end you will be alright.”
Sally’s smile faltered at Joanna’s words. “He may be Jo, but he hasn’t shown it,” she confessed, her cheeks twitching with nerves. “He hasn’t come to see me once since he talked to Father. I sent a message asking to meet to discuss the wedding, but he replied saying he was too busy.”
Joanna’s eyes widened in surprise. “I saw Leonard twice this week,” she exclaimed. “He was with Kenneth, and they played billiards together.”
Sally’s heart sank. “You see? That is what I meant. He is avoiding me. I suppose that is what it will be from now on.”
“No, Sally. Maybe they were talking about the wedding and ...”
“You need not comfort me, Joanna. I am no child. I know how it will be and it will be alright. I will be alright. I always am. I thought hearing about father’s infidelity and his actions regarding the orphanage would break me, but neither did. Nor shall this,” she said, wishing she were as determined as her words suggested. “I will not make a cake of myself thinking things will be different after we are wed.”
“I think you will find it will be. You never know what can happen, nor how things came to pass. I never thought I’d love Kenneth when we first started our deception. Nor did I think I’d be one-and-twenty and a mother of two and a Duchess to boot. But I am. Do not lose faith in miracles,” Joanna said and pressed a kiss on Sally’s cheek.
“Well, at least we will have a wedding cake, flummery, and cheese and grapes at the wedding, all my favorites. I made Mother get them all,” Sally said, determined not to slip further down her despair.
“First we’ll have to get you married,” Joanna said with a wide smile.
* * *
The wedding breakfast buzzed with lively chatter and the clinking of glasses, the air thick with the scent of freshly cut flowers and the gentle rustle of leaves in the garden. Leonard, however, felt suffocated by the festivities, his chest tight as he weaved his way through the crush of guests.
Who invited all these people? Who are they? I recognize hardly a single face.
He’d allowed the Blackmores to make the preparations, escaping that responsibility along with any unnecessary meetings with Sally. Distance was what they needed, now and in the future. He’d already planned his next trip to Portugal, and as soon as they got through their honeymoon, he’d set off.
For now, he sought refuge in the garden, escaping through the music room door. The sounds of the celebration drifted out behind him. Jovial and merry it stood in stark contrast to his feelings. He could hardly even recall the ceremony not the vows he’d taken. It had all passed in a blur.
It was true, Sally had looked like an angel in her lovely dress and with her chestnut hair braided around her head as though she were a Queen, not a Duchess in the making. His heart had skipped a beat when she’d raised her veil and her beautiful heart-shaped face came into view. Alas, the sadness in her eyes had robbed him of that feeling – or perhaps it was a good thing. Admiring her beauty would just open a door to much more treacherous thoughts and feelings.
As he paced the garden path, lost in his own thoughts, Leonard was startled by the sound of footsteps approaching. He turned to find Kenneth, his loyal friend and confidant, stepping out to join him. “You look like a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders, Lenny,” Kenneth remarked, his brow furrowed with concern.
“I am, Kenneth,” he admitted. “I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve just robbed Sally of her future.”
Kenneth regarded him with empathy. “Lenny, you saved her from ruination. You didn’t rob her of anything.”
Leonard met Kenneth’s gaze, his eyes filled with a mixture of anguish and self-reproach. “Of course I have. You know that I cannot be a husband to her, not really. We had this conversation. I can’t bear the thought of taking her back with me to the estate,” he confessed. “To have her life there. To be with me.”
Kenneth nodded in understanding, “I know that is how you feel, Lenny but I wish you were not so resistant to the possibility of being happy. You used to want this, marriage, children – and she is the perfect match for you. I always thought so and if you hadn’t made it known you didn’t want to wed, I’d have encouraged you to court her long ago.”
