Joanna couldn’t understand how Judith could do this to her. Weren’t they friends? How could she betray her trust like this, and after she’d just confided in her days ago? And Kenneth? Hadn’t they come to an understanding? Didn’t they have feelings for each other?
For the first time in her life, she’d trusted a man, had allowed herself to believe in love and the possibility of a happy future. She felt like her whole world had turned upside down.
Her body felt heavy as she lay down on the seats, her knees pulled up to her chest as the carriage rolled down the street. She couldn’t believe this. To be betrayed in such a way, and at a ball. In a library! A place that was meant to be a sanctuary. Why?
She sat up and looked out into the night, obscured by the lacy curtain. What had they been doing in the library together? It was almost as if they’d wanted her to see them together. She ground her teeth as her mind raced, and she recounted the events of the evening.
After Judith’s departure to the library, she’d fallen into somewhat of a pit of worry once more because Kenneth had not returned from his meeting with her father. The more time had passed, the more she had fretted. It hadn’t helped that Rosy had gone to dance while Sally had snuck to the refreshments table, thus leaving her alone.
She’d slipped more and more into a world of her thoughts where she’d imagined just what Kenneth and her father had discussed. She’d become certain that her father had been up to no good, and her desire to join Kenneth to confront him had become overwhelming. Thus, she had been more than glad when Sally had found her and informed her that Judith had discovered not just one but several of the novels she had been so desperate to read.
She’d gone to the library right then, eager to get the tomes, when she’d discovered the unimaginable.
In the carriage, Joanna pursed her lips. Judith knew she was coming. Yet, she’d not only been with Kenneth, but she’d kissed him. And he’d kissed her back… right at the library door.
No, they had wanted her to see them.
Rage flowed through her so hard that she felt it pulsing in her veins. The two of them had been dallying behind her back all along, she was sure of it now.
As she lay there, she couldn’t stop replaying the scene in her mind. She felt like a fool for not seeing it coming. How could she have been so blind to their true intentions?
Joanna knew that she needed time to process everything that had happened. She needed to figure out how to move on from this betrayal and heal from the pain.
For now, all she could do was cry and try to come to grips with the reality of what had just happened. When she arrived at Carlisle Manor twenty minutes later, her heart was beating so fast that she did not bother to take off her coat as she rushed past Jenkins. She was about to run to her chamber when she heard her mother’s voice calling to her from the drawing room.
The last thing she wanted now was to face her mother, yet she had no other option.
“Mother, I am tired,” she said from the hall, hoping her mother would not see her tear-stained face.
Alas, the Countess rose and came toward her, stopping when she saw the tears streaming down her face. Joanna hadn’t looked in the mirror, but she knew the hot rivers of tears had to have eaten into her crushed pearl powder and ruined the charcoal she’d applied to her eyes earlier.
“What happened, Joanna? Why are you home so early? Why are you so upset?” Her mother cupped her face.
Feeling the warmth of her mother’s skin against her own momentarily provided the comfort Joanna desperately needed. Still, the anger in her heart remained the predominant sensation within her.
“I want to be alone, Mother. That is all. Please,” she mumbled.
Her mother shook her head. “No, Joanna, you will not rush away without explanation. I demand to know what has happened. Where are your father and your sisters?”
At the mention of her father, the dam holding back the raging onslaught of anger burst, and Joanna stepped back. “Father is at the ball, as are my sisters. As for me, I have had enough, Mother. Enough! I do not want to see Father or Kenneth or anyone else!”
“Kenneth?” Her mother tilted her head to the side. “What has Kenneth done?”
“What he has done? The same as all other men, Mother. All men are the same! Nobody can be trusted. All they want is to dally with women. I should have known better than to trust him. His father was a rake, so it shouldn’t have been surprising that he is one, too!” She stomped her foot, sobs racking her body.
“Joanna, slow down. What happened? Kenneth hurt you? How?”
Joanna was furious now. She told her mother, “Yes, he did! He kissed Judith. I saw it!”
Her mother’s eyes grew wide, but Joanna could see that she was thinking of a way to explain this. And the words confirming it followed almost at once. “Are you certain you did not misunderstand? Have you had a lot to drink tonight?”
“Is that how you explain this away? By saying it is my fault?” She could hardly believe what her mother was saying to her. “This is all your fault, for pushing me to marry Lord Worcester in the first place—pushing me to marry at all when you knew that men were all cads!”
“What are you talking about, Joanna? Why are you so angry at me? I am not blaming you, I am only asking if you are certain, as I was convinced you and Kenneth were happy together!” her mother exclaimed.
Joanna hesitated for a moment, considering that perhaps her mother truly did not know what her father had done. But she had to… didn’t she? Joanna decided that enough was enough. She had to expose her father, and she had to know what her mother knew.
She wetted her lips and looked at her. “Kenneth and I… It does not matter. Mother, I must know, did you know about Father’s affair with Miss Hastings?”
