“I dare say this evening was even more eventful than the one at my home. Though I think our parents will agree on their dislike of our choices,” Joanna replied. When Kenneth’s brow furrowed, she cleared her throat. “Your mother disapproves of me.”
“She is someone who has certain ideas about whom I should wed. Do not take it personally,” he said, his voice a little less heavy.
“I do not. I care little about what others think of me. I must live with myself, after all, and thus I long ago resolved to like myself as I am, even if others disagree.”
She stopped herself from adding more, surprised again at how easy it was to tell him the truth about her wishes and wants. Still, even as the atmosphere between them lightened, a hint of anger at his abandoning her remained.
“I am glad you think that way. It is certainly the best way to go through life—to be aware of one’s talents and one’s worth.”
Something in his tone gave her pause. He certainly sounded the way she’d expected a duke to sound—self-assured and proud—but a slight undertone in his voice told her there was more to him.
But what?
“You strike me as a man who is hard on himself,” she observed.
He stuffed his hands in his pockets before kicking a small rock. “I suppose I am. But then, I have much to judge myself harshly for,” he said without meeting her eyes. “I do beg your pardon for tonight. Sincerely.”
“Well, as long as you agree not to abandon me again for the duration of this… thing we have going on, I shall forgive you.”
“I will not,” he assured her, raising his eyes to meet hers. “I promise you. And my mother will not trouble you again. I do wish you had not been witness to this discourse, it is not usual.”
“I have been witness to my fair share of discourse and chaos, thus I understand.”
They looked at one another, though neither said a word until the front door opened behind them, drawing their attention.
The Dowager Duchess stood there, her cape draped over her extravagant gown.
Joanna swallowed. “I should leave,” she said.
Kenneth nodded. “I suppose so. Pray, are you willing to continue our arrangement, despite it all?”
She looked up, surprised to hear this. “I was unsure if you wanted to after tonight.”
“Of course, I do. In fact, I wanted to ask if you’d attend Almack’s with me this upcoming Wednesday.”
Almack’s. Thebaneof her existence.
Joanna wanted to say no, but she knew they’d have to go to Almack’s if they wanted to be taken seriously. All courting couples went there to be seen together.
“Very well. I suppose I can endure a night at Almack’s.”
He looked at her, amused. “Endure? I hope this choice of words is not a reflection of my character.”
She chuckled and shook her head. “It is a judgment based on the dry cake and weak lemonade served there, not any person.”
“Well, I will bring refreshments, then,” he said, and then, he bowed before her and took her gloved hand in his before pressing a kiss to the back of it.
A shiver made her stagger back a step, but she composed herself before he rose fully. “I… I will hold you to it,” she said as her cheeks flushed.
She was grateful for the dark night and the clouds obscuring the moon and stars, for it meant he would not see how his kiss affected her.
Quickly, she turned back and climbed into the carriage, the door closing behind her. She glanced out the window as the carriage jolted forward, and saw Kenneth make his way to his mother, who’d watched the exchange with eagle eyes.
Joanna couldn’t shake off the events of the evening. The unexpected turmoil, the glimpse into Kenneth’s family dynamics, and the brief sensation of his lips on her gloved hand had left her with a torrent of feelings and thoughts.
It had been so simple a plan—build a web of lies to convince everyone in their world. Use one another for a purpose. Pretend to care about one another.
But suddenly, as the carriage carried her away from Kenneth’s home, Joanna realized it wasn’t that simple. The web of lies was suffocating, and the purpose of their plan was becoming blurrier with each meeting. And most of all, she realized that she was about to break the most crucial rule of their arrangement: to never fall in love with each other.
