Chapter 2
By the time Esther returned to her room after dinner, it was just as she had foreseen—all of her things had been packed away. Her lady’s maid, Amelia, was just putting the finishing touches on her trunk.
“Thank you, Amelia,” Esther murmured, moving past the maid to sit on the bed. She gazed out the window at the grounds of her father’s manor, wondering how it would feel to be away from here for an entire Season. It would be the longest she had ever been away from home.
At least I’ll be out from under my parents’ thumbs!
She couldn’t deny that she was looking forward to that part. It would be incredibly pleasant to be away from them, to not have to worry about living up to their nearly impossible standards all the time. And though shewouldbe focused on bringing home a gentleman who would please them, of course, she wouldn’t have them looking over her shoulder the entire time. She would be able to make her own decisions and trust her own judgment.
Amelia closed the trunk and brushed her hands off on her skirt as she stood upright. “May I fetch you a cup of tea before bed, My Lady?” she asked. “It’s very important that you’re well-rested tonight. Tomorrow is a big day.”
“It isn’tthatbig a day,” Esther said. “We’re only traveling tomorrow. We’re going to Harcourt Manor, and we’ll be seeing Aunt Tabitha and Eugenia. But it’s not as if there’s a ball or a social event tomorrow. I don’t need to be at my best.”
“You may find yourself thinking otherwise when tomorrow comes,” Amelia counseled. “You’ll want to be alert and aware of your surroundings.”
Esther laughed. “Amelia, you act as if I was going to war instead of to my first Season!”
“Not war,” Amelia said. “But a young lady’s first Season can be just as life-altering.”
Esther shook her head indulgently. Amelia was only a maid. She had always had plenty of wisdom to share with Esther, and in general, Esther took her seriously. But this was a little too much to give credit to.
“Nothing will change for me,” she said firmly. “Not until I meet the Season’s eligible gentlemen at my first ball. And perhaps not even then.”
“You don’t think so?” Amelia asked.
“I think I’m clever enough to engage the interest of a gentleman without losing myself in the process,” Esther said. “You don’t need to worry about me remaining alert and aware, Amelia. I already know what my goals are for this Season.”
Amelia sighed. “I was afraid of that,” she said. “Your parents told you to find a rich husband, didn’t they?”
“Naturally,” Esther said. “That’s what everyone will be doing. That’s what these events arefor—so that gentlemen can find ladies they admire, and ladies can make advantageous matches.”
“And what of love?" Amelia asked.
“Love?” Esther blinked. “What about it?”
“This is your first Season, My Lady,” Amelia said. “You’re still so young. Before you settle into a marriage for financial or social advantage, don’t you think you ought to give yourself the opportunity to find love?”
Esther laughed indulgently and shook her head. “That isn’t the point of any of this, Amelia," she said. “This isn’t some romantic tale, and I’m not the kind of young lady to be swept off her feet by a good-looking gentleman. I’m going into this Season with a purpose in mind, and it’s a purpose I intend to achieve.”
“Don’t you worry, though, that you might be missing out?” Amelia asked. “To marry without ever knowing love…it sounds like a terrible tragedy.”
“Don’t be so dramatic, Amelia,” Esther said. “Come, help me dress for bed.”
She went and stood in front of her looking glass. Amelia moved to stand behind her and began to unlace her gown.
“You’ve never experienced love, My Lady,” Amelia said as she worked. “How can you be so certain that it isn’t something you want in your life?”
“My priority is to provide for my sister’s future,” Esther said. "It's really that simple.”
“But Lady Caroline is only ten years of age,” Amelia pointed out. “Surely there is time. You could take this Season and explore your own desires. You could allow yourself to be courted by any gentleman who catches your interest.”
Esther laughed. “I know what you’re thinking,” she said. “You're thinking that because I’ll be under the care of Aunt Tabitha instead of my parents, I’ll be free to be courted by gentlemen of whom Mother and Father wouldn’t approve.”
“I'll admit the thought crossed my mind,” Amelia said. “Suppose you take a fancy to a gentleman who doesn’t hold a title that would please your parents—a viscount, perhaps. Suppose he’s handsome to look at, clever, and charming. Shouldn’t you have the opportunity to get to know him better?”
“But why?” Esther asked. “To what end? I could never marry such a gentleman. My aunt may be my guardian for the Season, but my father will have to approve of any gentleman who seeks my hand in marriage. And you know as well as I that he’ll never approve of a mere viscount.”
“I just worry for you, My Lady,” Amelia said, lifting Esther’s gown off and setting it carefully on the bed to be hung up. She helped Esther into her nightgown and began to tie it. “I don’t want you to go to your grave never having known love.”
