Ruth turned around and glared at her sister. “I radiate beauty from within? What does that matter? Nobody ever looks long enough at me to see anything but my exterior. Look at me and tell me with honesty that I am beautiful if beauty is only judged with the eyes.” She stared at her sister whose mouth dropped open. Ruth knew then that no matter how much her sister loved her, she could not lie to her. She could not look at her and tell her she was beautiful because she was not.
She turned her attention back to the mirror and glanced at her right side. What she saw was pleasing on the surface. Smooth, pale skin, bright blue eyes, and a heart-shaped mouth, all the markings of an exceptional beauty. Even her nose, short with an upturned slope, would have been considered dainty and desirable. But then, when she turned her head, she saw nothing but the scar: leathery, red, and raised.
A rage overcame her at the injustice that has been bestowed upon her by a simple mistake. A stray candle igniting a wine barrel caused her to be robbed not just of her mother, but of her future. For even though she’d survived, her life would never be anything but a struggle.
Why did I live? I do not understand. Why did I live while she died? Mama. My beloved mama. You sacrificed yourself – for this.
Before she knew what she was doing, she raised the hand mirror in the air and smashed it onto the ground causing her sister to jump backward.
“Ruthie!”
“I wish I had died that day, not Mother! I wish she had never come for me.”
Her sister’s lip trembled. “Don’t say that, please.”
“It is true! I wish you never called for help. I wish you’d left me. Why didn’t you leave me, Sophia? Why?”
She could say no more as the tears and sobs overtook her entire body and all she could do was sink on the floor and kneel between the shards of the broken mirror – and cry for all she’d lost. And for all she would never have.
Chapter 6
Kenneth rode across the fields and toward Caster Hall, the home of the Earl of Caster and his friend Jack. He needed to talk to his friend. He was the only one he could truly confide in. Caster Hall was a refuge and that was what he needed right now, if only for a little while.
I cannot believe my conduct. I do not know how I am to face her again. What is the matter with me? To be so stupid and thoughtless.
He’d felt terrible when he realized just how much his behavior wounded her. Not that she’d told him. She’d remained strong and stared him down. But it was there, in her eyes. He’d seen it. It only made it worse that his father saw fit to give him a dressing down on top of it all. He knew he’d embarrassed his father in front of his friend and injured a young woman already so terribly tested by life. It was unlike him and he did not understand his actions.
The more distance he put between himself and his home, the better he felt. Of course, he knew it would not last long. One never could outrun one’s problems.
Still, he felt relief when Caster Hall came into view. The house was less grand than Goldclaw Manor, but a beautiful home anyhow. Once upon a time, it was a monastery, but after the dissolution of the monasteries, it became the ancestral home of the Earls of Caster.
He dismounted his horse and rushed up the front steps. The butler, Mr. Grimshaw, an older grey-haired man opened the door for him.
“Grimshaw, I must speak to Lord Bronwyn at once.”
Sensing his urgency, Grimshaw stepped aside.
“Of course, my lord. Follow me.” He led him to the billiards room at the end of the long hall.
The room was among the grandest in their home. This was no surprise as both Jack and his father were as fond of the game as Kenneth and his father were of music. The table upon which they played their game was made of rich mahogany, as opposed to the more common oak, and the cue balls of finest ivory.
Jack was leaning over the table, his eyes narrowed as he readied himself for his shot. His father stood aside applying chalk to the leather tip of his cue stick.
The butler cleared his throat. “Kenneth Cragshade, Marquess of Rotham has arrived, my lord.”
The Earl turned and smiled with genuine affection.
“Lord Rotham, what a delight! Perhaps you can give me some pointers as I seem quite incapable of beating my son at this game.”
Kenneth forced a smile. “I would gladly give Your Lordship a few pointers. Alas, I am rather in haste today and had hoped to have a word with your son.”
Jack looked up then and at once saw the distress on Kenneth’s face.
“Of course. You do not mind postponing our game, Father?”
“I am never opposed to postponing a monumental loss, son. We can reconvene later on today if you like. I had better call on your mother, anyhow. I was to accompany her into town, and she’ll be angry with me if I am tardy.”
He nodded at Kenneth and departed the room. Jack craned his neck to ensure his father was out of earshot and placed a hand on his friend’s arm.
