“He almost caught me that night, I hope you know,” he went on, his tone switching to conversational so easily that it was as if he was talking about the weather. “I do not know what would have had happened had I not gotten away. After that, I couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing you again and so before I knew it, I’d snuck onto Warington grounds, hoping to find your bedchambers. I’d considered myself blessed by God when I heard your voice in the gardens.”
Fear seized her limbs, had her trembling uncontrollably. It dulled the pain but brought Lord Brownley into such sharp focus that all she could see were the flashes of emotions, the sudden changes, the declining mental state.
“In hindsight, I was grateful I’d brought my pistol along. Traveling so late at night, one can never be too safe. When I saw that you two were together…” He trailed off, his gaze growing distant as his hands curled into fists. “I wanted him dead.”
“My Lord—” Alice didn’t know what to say in response, didn’t know how she would be able to talk herself out of this one.
“Alas!” he exclaimed suddenly, and then resumed his pacing. “I missed that night. But the very thought of him having you, of anyone having you, knowing that you were meant to be mine drove me insane. I decided then and there that I wouldn’t stop until you were mine. I spent nearly every night hiding in your gardens, waiting for the chance to see you again. I brought my pistol with me every time too. But you never came.”
Lord Brownley stopped and looked at her, shaking his head in disappointment. “But I was determined, Lady Alice. And so I decided tonight that I would take a chance, that I would try to lure you out of the manor.”
“But how?” she asked, unable to believe the extent to which he had gone. “How did you get that message to my bedchamber in the first place?”
“You would be surprised what a lowly servant would do for a shilling or two,” Lord Brownley told her with a grin.
Then, he began walking toward her. Alice fought the urge to run, telling herself to stand her ground and not to let this deranged man intimidate her—a near impossible feat.
“But now,” Lord Brownley said, leaning over the bed with a broad grin, “you are all mine.”
I will never be yours. I will draw my dying breath before I let myself become yours.
She swallowed instead of speaking, stared him down instead of letting him know how she truly felt. But the distance between them grew with every word he spoke. Even though they were face to face, Lord Brownley was off in a world that he’d created, where she was the prize he received for enduring all that he had gone through.
Suddenly, he pulled away, clapping his hands. “Now, then. I shall take my leave. You need your rest and that swelling will not begin to go down if you don’t. You do have an important day tomorrow.”
Alice dreaded to ask, but she had to. “What do you mean?”
Lord Brownley made his way to the door, throwing a laugh over his shoulder. “Why, our wedding of course. We shouldn’t waste any time.” He opened the door, only slightly before he continued. “And I hope you are not thinking of running away again. I have men stationed at the door to stop you if you dare. I shall send the maid in shortly to tend to your wound before you retire to bed.”
He didn’t stay to listen to any response she may have offered. Lord Brownley left her to the silence in the room and her raging thoughts.
Chapter 21
She’d been a fool all her life. She’d run from love, letting her fear control her future. But seeing Lord Brownley, seeing how the obvious lack of love he’d received had shaped the terrible man he’d grown into today, Alice realized just how lucky she’d been. Though her father had faltered after his wife’s death, he’d still lifted his head eventually and tried to be the best father he could be for her and Emma. He’d been lucky to have received the late Duchess’ love when he had and she should be grateful for being surrounded by so much of it.
Even from William. He’d admitted that he loved her, the rake who had rejected the thought of love the way she did. He’d opened his heart to her and she hadn’t been strong enough to tell him that she felt the same. Even though the thought terrified her, Alice realized now that nothing would be more terrifying than never being able to let him know.
With a sudden burst of determination, she shot to her feet and rushed to the window. She wouldn’t simply sit back and let this happen. She didn’t know if her father and William knew where to find her. Not for a single moment had she expected Lord Brownley of all people to do such a thing and so she doubted they would either. Which meant that if she wanted to be saved, she would have to do it herself.
She opened the window and peered out, realizing that she was a few stories up. He must have done that on purpose, to ensure that she would not be able to escape. But sitting close to her window, a story below her, was an open balcony. Alice wouldn’t be able to jump down to the ground but perhaps she could make it to the balcony and take it from there.
I have to try. It’s my only option. The maid will be here any moment.
As soon as the thought crossed her mind, the door opened and the maid walked in, bearing a new bowl and cloth. Alice froze, catching the shocked eyes of the maid. For half a moment, they only stared at each other before the maid realized what Alice was trying to do.
“She’s trying to run!” the maid blurted out. Instantly, two men rushed into the room, no doubt the men Lord Brownley had stationed at the door to keep her from escaping. It took a second for them to notice that she was by the window and then they came charging after her.
Alice didn’t have the chance to think it over anymore. She lifted her skirts, hooked a foot onto the ledge and jumped out right before the men could catch her.
She tried not to flail, her skirts billowing around her as her stomach descended. The fall felt both brief and terribly long but she made it, a sharp pain shooting through her legs when she landed. She stumbled, pushing her hair out of her eyes. Her blood pumped madly in her veins, pushing her ahead even though most of her body was throbbing with pain. She knew they were rushing to find her, just didn’t know how long it would take for them to get here. She couldn’t afford to risk it and so she hooked another leg over the railing of the balcony, preparing to jump again. When she heard the door bang open behind her, Lord Brownley shouting at her to stop, she jumped.
This time, she didn’t only feel pain. She heard a crack and she tumbled to the dewy ground as if her legs could no longer work. Alice gritted her teeth, willing herself to push past the pain but she couldn’t even manage to get to her feet. She could almost imagine them coming, could imagine Lord Brownley barking orders as he raced down to the bottom floor to find her outside. To think she’d done all that only to be caught once more.
She wouldn’t let that happen. Alice pushed herself to her feet, placing most of her weight on the leg that only throbbed in pain and not exploded with it. She began limping away, needing to put as much distance between her and the manor.
“Lady Alice, stop!”
Lord Brownley’s voice behind her gave her the strength she needed to push forward. She didn’t dare to look around, breaking into a small, uneven jog as she tried to push past the pain of her injured leg. Even as she did, she knew it wouldn’t be enough. She could hear him behind her, could hear him closing the distance. She couldn’t move fast enough.
