“Dreadful boy! You know very well that is not what I meant.”
Darrius softened his expression and sat down at the other side of the table. “I do know, Mother. But I could not help but tease you a little. I have noticed that you enjoy a bit of levity in your conversations with Mrs. Swinton.”
“Oh, indeed I do! Such a relief it is to find someone with whom I can converse without being afraid that she might hack up a toad or have her hair fall out due to our topic of conversation.”
“Hack up a toad? Mother, whatever do you mean?”
“Oh, you know,” Adelaide waved an airy hand. “Toadeaters. Cough up a toad. In shock, as it were.”
Darrius gave a brief bark of laughter. “Good heavens, Mother. If you are going to carry on like that, no wonder you do not want the servants attending on us. Goodness knows what sort of idea they might get.”
Adelaide leaned toward her son. “Exactly. But getting ideas is one of the things I wanted to speak to you about. It seems to me that I have perceived a growing coolness between you and Blanche.”
Darrius twiddled with his pickle fork for a moment, then laid it back down. “Mother, even though we were occasional playmates in childhood, I do not believe that Blanche and I have ever developed a great deal of warmth toward each other.”
“Sadly, I fear you might be right,” Adelaide sighed. “But Darrius, while love is not required of a man and woman to marry, a certain amount of cordiality between you would be to the point.”
“I suppose,” Darius acquiesced rather sullenly, “But…”
There came a tap at the door, and they were spared further conversation for a few minutes while two strong footmen carried in the tea.
There was enough food to feed an army. Adelaide beamed as a frothy white cake with piped-on icing roses, white bread, sweet butter, strawberries, cheese, crackers, fruit, and cracked nutmeats were all unloaded. These were followed up with eggs that had been cut in half and then refilled with the yolk mixed with spices, herbs and chopped vegetables, as well as slices of ham.
“Good heavens, Mother,” Darrius said. “There is enough here to feed half the village. Why do we not set another place, and have Mrs. Swinton to sit down with us? She will hear us no better or worse when seated at the table than she is likely to do standing up and hovering over us.”
“Are you sure, Darrius?” Adelaide asked. “I have no objections, but I was not sure you would quite like it.”
“It will be fine, Mother. After all, she customarily takes tea with us. Why should today be different? Besides, perhaps her presence will curb some of your wilder remarks.” Darrius signaled the butler and indicated that another place should be laid.
“I am sorry, Darrius, but you are not getting any younger. Some plain speaking is in order if you are to get an heir before I follow your father to the grave.”
Darrius sat down slowly. “Are you feeling poorly, Mother?”
“Actually, I feel much better than I have for many months, my dear, but that is beside the point. Time flies, especially when you are not taking note of it.”
“I have noticed that on occasion,” Darrius said drily.
Mrs. Swinton stepped into what threatened to become a family row, and said, “Shall I pour?”
“Please do, my dear. Now, Darrius, the reason I have asked you here on this day is not only to commemorate the happiest day of my life, but to make some progress on insuring that your wedding day will also be the happiest day of your life. By rights, it should be your father imparting this wisdom, but in his absence I must take up his staff and mantle and carry on.”
“Mother...”
“No, no Darrius, it is not right that you should plunge into your approaching nuptials having no idea how to conduct yourself.”
“Mother...” Darrius tried again.
“No, no, I insist. You shall not remain ignorant.”
“Mother!” Darrius insisted once more. “You do not need to do this. Father had this talk when I was thirteen, when I showed interest in the downstairs maid, who was only a year or two older than I at the time. He and she made sure that I understood the mechanics.”
“Good,” Adelaide remarked. “Then we only need to discuss how to actually please your partner without shocking her sensibilities. It is fortunate that you have present at table not one, but two widows who were happily wed.”
* * *
Sometime later, after a thoroughly coached and highly irritated Darrius had declared that he would sleep in one of the guest apartments and strode away in high dudgeon, Adelaide was slowly sorting through piles of old letters, sipping the sweet, red wine that Darrius had brought. It was so new it was nearly grape juice. Even so, it had a rich bouquet that she found pleasing. She nibbled at some sharp cheese, and thin crispy crackers left from their repast.
“Do you think Darrius would like to read the letters his father sent to me at some time?” she asked Mrs. Swinton.
